Satire

by Isaac Y Brooks

# TWIN PEAKS TWINK THROUPLE TROUBLES *An Ethically Sourced Romantic Disaster* Love is complicated. Love in San Francisco is expensive. And love in a throuple where everyone has a sustainability manifesto is a full-blown municipal emergency. Meet Gaius, Auberge, and Ruslan: three men, one relationship, and absolutely no ability to let anything go. A questionable avocado becomes an ethical crisis. A twenty-third birthday requires a memorial service for lost cheekbones. Fine lines are diagnosed as Stage Four Crow’s Feet. A prescription medication triggers an existential reckoning with the porcine industrial complex. And meeting the parents? That means navigating Sedona crystal evangelists, Russian borscht diplomacy, and a Texas barbecue patriarch whose Republican politics nearly bring the entire relationship to its knees. Naturally, the solution to every problem is a conference, a committee, or a resolution circle nobody asked for. But when these three attempt to plan a wedding that is emotionally sustainable, ethically sourced, and liberated from the wedding-industrial complex, they discover that even true love has its limits—and that sometimes the most radical act of all is eating the damn cake. Set amid the fog, fabulousness, and occasional existential collapse of San Francisco’s Twin Peaks, *Twin Peaks Twink Throuple Troubles* is a wildly camp, gloriously absurd comedy about queer love, performative virtue, family dysfunction, and the exhausting business of trying to be a good person in a world where even your sandwich might have questionable origins. **Three men. One throuple. Zero ethically uncomplicated avocados.** Some relationships need couples therapy. These three need a city permit.

by J.J. Johnson

Her story hadn’t begun with her first breath; it anchored itself, deeply, within the continuous floods from the powerful storms that brewed long before our generations were ever imagined.   My mother, Jess, inherited trauma like a personal kind of family heirloom—rooted in red clay that cracked under extreme pressure, generations before her own body met its ultimate demise.   Life came for her time and time again, tearing violently at the delicate pieces of her soul, attempting to drag her innocence into the same cold abyss that swallowed so many daughters from our bloodline before her. It didn’t matter how far down the darkness tried to drag her, nor did it matter how persistent these shadows became; she always found her way back to us, wherever that may have been.   Her four children were not just a simple part of her world—we were the entirety of her everything. Every battle she fought and won was meant to shield us from growing the same thorns and bearing the same painful scars. She sacrificed her adult life striving to be the mother she knew we deserved, nurturing a sanctuary out of pure willpower and love.   Though she never got to hold most of her grandchildren, her love reaches through the veil, across the silent stretch of emptiness, quietly shaping their lives to this very day.   Distance, time, and even the grave are powerless against what she built through sheer courage and sacrifice. Her devotion has been passed across the generations that have followed, surrounding them still—a love so fierce, so absolute, that it remains just as deafening today as it ever was.   These are the chronicles of the floods she endured, the thorns she bore, and the wild roses that grew because her fierce heart refused to let the darkness prevail.

by Isaac Y Brooks

Adrian owns three international shipping companies, commands a private jet equipped for international diplomacy, and has survived the sort of boardroom negotiations that would make lesser men weep into their quarterly reports. He considers himself a rational adult. Then he falls in love with Lucien. Lucien is beautiful, emotionally delicate, and apparently capable of turning a perfectly ordinary Tuesday into a full-scale metaphysical emergency. He also has Blaze, his spiritual emergency contact, and Saturn, a man whose relationship with reality is best described as complicated. When Lucien experiences a cosmic crisis of truly unprecedented proportions, Adrian does what any devoted, obscenely wealthy boyfriend would do: he mobilizes private aviation, international wellness specialists, luxury mountain estates, and enough crystals to destabilize a small economy. What follows is an increasingly absurd international wellness expedition involving emergency healing circles, mysterious astronomical phenomena, spiritual containment protocols, and a support team whose collective grasp on reality deteriorates by the hour. Meanwhile, Adrian's long-suffering assistant Marianne is discovering that there are limits to human endurance, even when the espresso is excellent and the expense account is effectively bottomless. Because money can buy private jets, exclusive retreats, and the finest spiritual practitioners on three continents. What it cannot buy is a straightforward explanation for why the moon has apparently become a workplace emergency. *My Emotional Support Twink is Having a Cosmic Crisis* is an absurdist comedy about love, wealth, wellness culture, and the extraordinary lengths one man will go to for his boyfriend—even when absolutely nobody can agree on what the hell is happening. Some relationships require compromise. Others require international logistics, emergency incense, and a very patient executive assistant.

by Isaac Y Brooks

Featuring a spiritually exhausted Pisces, an infuriatingly attractive spy, international chaos, weaponized emotional unavailability, and enough questionable relationship decisions to concern several intelligence agencies, *OMG My Super Secretive Boyfriend Might Be a Spy… I Think* is an absurdist romantic comedy about love, lies, and discovering that sometimes the biggest red flag isn't that your boyfriend might be a spy.

by Sammie Settlemire

How To Be White For Dummies A completely unofficial, wildly unnecessary field guide to suburban white culture. Have you ever wondered why otherwise rational adults become emotionally invested in grass? Why Costco feels like a religious experience? Why people spend entire weekends putting up seasonal decorations only to spend another weekend taking them down? Or why being asked to "bring a dish" can trigger a full-scale existential crisis? In How To Be White For Dummies, author Sammie Settlemire takes readers on a hilarious tour through the customs, rituals, and contradictions of suburban American life. From HOA enforcement squads and lawn maintenance warfare to pumpkin spice season, garage clutter, small talk etiquette, and the mysterious power of the fitted sheet, nothing escapes observation. Writing from the unique perspective of life in a fifth-wheel RV and trailer park communities, Settlemire contrasts suburban culture with a world where survival, resourcefulness, and community often matter more than appearances. The result is a funny, affectionate, and sometimes painfully accurate look at the ways people try to create order in a world that stubbornly remains chaotic. Perfect for fans of observational humor, social satire, David Sedaris-style storytelling, and anyone who has ever: •Argued about trash cans •Purchased something unnecessary at Costco •Pretended to care about grass •Folded a fitted sheet and lost the battle •Smiled through an awkward conversation about the weather No membership card required. Readerful Tags / Keywords •Humor •Satire •Cultural Humor •Suburban Life •HOA •Costco •RV Living •Trailer Park Life •Social Commentary •Comedy Essays •American Culture •Observational Humor •Lifestyle Humor •Small-Town America •Memoir Humor •Funny Nonfiction •Community Life •Modern Life •Lighthearted Satire •Everyday Absurdity Genre Primary Genre: Humor Secondary Genres: •Satire •Social Commentary •Humor Essays •Cultural Observations •Memoir Humor

by Jane Austen

Before Pride and Prejudice, a teenage Jane Austen was already taking aim. Scribblings collects the work that bookends her career: the riotous juvenilia she wrote to make her family laugh — lovers fainting alternately on a sofa, a History of England by “a partial, prejudiced and ignorant Historian” — alongside the two novels she began and never finished. She set The Watsons aside around 1805; Sanditon was cut short by her final illness in 1817. Together they are Austen unguarded: the first jokes and the last pages. The Watsons appears here in the 1923 edition in which L. Oulton carried Austen’s fragment through to an ending; the preface is by her nephew, James Edward Austen-Leigh.

by Sammie Settlemire

For the people who survived me, shaped me, and kept me from losing my damn mind, and for everyone who learned life the long way around. Twelve short chapters of plain common sense: consequences are real, emotions are not facts, red flags are not decorations, boundaries are not rude, therapy is great but accountability is better, and nobody is coming to save you. Funny where it can be, honest where it has to be.

by Sammie Settlemire

The HOA does not just run the neighborhood. The HOA is the neighborhood: a group of adults who gather voluntarily to enforce rules nobody asked for, like the PTA and the IRS had a baby that grew up to police the color of your mailbox. A comic anthropology of modern suburban life, taking on lawns as identity, Costco migration patterns, the fitted sheet crisis, the emotional support houseplant you are going to kill, and what all of it looks like from a trailer park and a 94 Bounder.

by Jane Austen

Lady Susan Vernon is newly widowed, short of money, and the most accomplished flirt in England. No longer welcome in the house where she has been staying, she invites herself to her brother-in-law's estate and promptly sets about charming her sister-in-law's young brother. Meanwhile she is determined to marry off her shy daughter, Frederica, to a rich and foolish suitor the girl can't stand. Told entirely in letters, Austen's short early novel gives all the best lines to its villain, and it is wickedly funny. Whit Stillman filmed it in 2016 as Love & Friendship.

by Jessica C. Wheeler

*She’s Fine* is a collection of satirical short stories about women who are, by every visible measure, doing just fine. Thank you for your concern. No need to call anyone. Behind the appropriate pauses, polite nods, and well-practiced coping strategies, these stories examine the considerable amount of effort it takes to appear effortlessly fine. Blending sharp satire with tenderness, the collection finds meaning in the seemingly ordinary. Some characters bend. Some come apart with admirable efficiency. Others discover that holding it together is less impressive once it becomes clear who benefits from the arrangement. Clever, character-driven, and emotionally exacting, *She’s Fine* offers a candid look at contemporary womanhood and the gap between public composure and private reality. With humor that ranges from wry to quietly mortifying, these stories celebrate women in all their complicated humanity. They’re gracious, occasionally unhinged, and far more interesting than the version they present to the world. They’re fine. Really.

by Jane Austen

Catherine Morland is seventeen, good-natured, and has read a great many Gothic novels. Taken to Bath for the season, she makes a fast friend of the flirtatious Isabella Thorpe, is pursued by Isabella's boorish brother, and falls for the clever, teasing Henry Tilney. When the Tilneys invite her to their family home, Northanger Abbey, Catherine arrives expecting secret passages and hidden crimes, and goes looking for them. Austen's affectionate send-up of the horror novels of her day was one of the first she wrote, and it was published only after her death in 1817.

by Tabitha Polenz

--- What if everything you thought you knew about sex, love, and intimacy was just the beginning? This book is funny. It is crude. It is psychologically precise and occasionally so direct you will feel personally called out — because you probably should be. We are going to talk about pussies, cocks, scrotums, licking, sucking, and the kind of lovemaking that lasts nine hours and leaves you permanently ruined for anything less. We are also going to talk about childhood wounds, generational trauma, the chakra system, plant medicine, Tantric philosophy, and why so many grown adults are still operating with an eight year old's emotional toolkit. At the center of it all is a love story. A real one. A man named Seymour who was brilliant, quietly charming, and a prisoner of wounds he didn't know he was still carrying. A woman in the middle of her own becoming who thought she was just dating and ended up in the most profound classroom of her life. This book is the map she built from that experience. From the dating field through the blockades and the wounds, through the chakras and the sacred body, all the way to the other side where Tantric lovemaking sessions last twelve hours, orgasm is not a moment but a sustained state, and two people who have actually done the work discover what connection was always supposed to feel like. If you are tired of the same old patterns producing the same old outcomes, this book is for you. So, buckle in buttercup. Let's go for a ride.

by J.A. St. Thomas

***Foray* into this *highly* entertaining and thrilling mystery series where Stephanie Beroe, risks everything to combat the dark side of the one percent.**