My Emotional Support Twink is Having a Cosmic Crisis

Adrian owns three international shipping companies, commands a private jet equipped for international diplomacy, and has survived the sort of boardroom negotiations that would make lesser men weep into their quarterly reports. He considers himself a rational adult.

Then he falls in love with Lucien.

Lucien is beautiful, emotionally delicate, and apparently capable of turning a perfectly ordinary Tuesday into a full-scale metaphysical emergency. He also has Blaze, his spiritual emergency contact, and Saturn, a man whose relationship with reality is best described as complicated.

When Lucien experiences a cosmic crisis of truly unprecedented proportions, Adrian does what any devoted, obscenely wealthy boyfriend would do: he mobilizes private aviation, international wellness specialists, luxury mountain estates, and enough crystals to destabilize a small economy.

What follows is an increasingly absurd international wellness expedition involving emergency healing circles, mysterious astronomical phenomena, spiritual containment protocols, and a support team whose collective grasp on reality deteriorates by the hour.

Meanwhile, Adrian's long-suffering assistant Marianne is discovering that there are limits to human endurance, even when the espresso is excellent and the expense account is effectively bottomless.

Because money can buy private jets, exclusive retreats, and the finest spiritual practitioners on three continents. What it cannot buy is a straightforward explanation for why the moon has apparently become a workplace emergency.

My Emotional Support Twink is Having a Cosmic Crisis is an absurdist comedy about love, wealth, wellness culture, and the extraordinary lengths one man will go to for his boyfriend—even when absolutely nobody can agree on what the hell is happening.

Some relationships require compromise. Others require international logistics, emergency incense, and a very patient executive assistant.