November 3, 2009
San Francisco
The afternoon fog rolled slowly across the hills of Dolores Park.
Steve walked toward the bench with his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his jacket.
The park was quieter than usual.
Most of the grass was empty except for a few people walking their dogs along the paths.
Steve sat down.
For a moment he stared out across the gray skyline.
His jaw tightened slightly.
"I need to say something today," he muttered.
The words felt heavier than usual.
"I've been holding it in for a long time."
He rubbed his hands together, the way he sometimes did when he felt anxious.
"I wish you would have said something to me."
The anger surfaced slowly at first.
"You were supposed to trust me."
His voice rose slightly.
"We were supposed to tell each other everything."
Steve leaned forward, elbows on his knees.
"How could you do that?"
The question hung in the cold air.
"How could you just... leave?"
His breathing grew uneven.
"You never told me how bad things were."
"You never told me your parents not accepting us hurt you that much."
Steve shook his head.
"I was right there."
His voice cracked.
"I would have done anything for you."
The anger broke through fully now.
"Do you know what that did to me?"
Steve looked down at the ground.
"I spent years thinking it was my fault."
"I thought maybe I said something wrong."
"Maybe I missed something."
His voice softened again.
"But you never gave me the chance to help you."
For a moment he sat there breathing heavily.
The wind moved through the trees above him.
After a long silence, Steve leaned back against the bench.
His anger slowly drained away, leaving only exhaustion.
"I'm still mad at you," he admitted quietly.
"But I still love you."
The park remained quiet around him.
After a few minutes Steve stood up.
"That's enough for today," he said softly.
He turned and walked down the path.
At the edge of the park, Kevin waited near the gate like he often did.
When he saw Steve approaching, he gave him a small, understanding smile.
Steve didn't say anything.
He simply reached for Kevin's hand.
They walked away together through the fog.