May 21, 2009
San Francisco
The afternoon sun stretched across the grass of Dolores Park.
Steve walked slowly up the familiar path toward the bench.
The park was livelier than usual that day. Groups of people sat on blankets across the hillside, talking and laughing while dogs ran through the grass.
Steve reached the bench and sat down.
For a moment he simply rested his hands on the wood.
He had been coming here more often lately.
It still felt strange sometimes — talking to someone who wasn't there.
But it also felt necessary.
"Well," he said quietly.
"I have some news."
A breeze moved gently through the trees above him.
Steve looked out across the park.
"Kevin asked me to marry him."
The words hung in the air for a moment.
He rubbed his hands together slowly.
"At first... I didn't know what to say."
He gave a small breath of laughter.
"I froze."
Steve stared down at the ground.
"The first thing I thought about was you."
He swallowed.
"I kept thinking... what would you think about it?"
The park buzzed softly around him.
After a moment he continued.
"You know Kevin."
He nodded slightly to himself.
"He's patient. Probably more patient than I deserve."
Steve smiled faintly.
"He's been there through all of this."
"The nightmares."
"The therapy."
"The bench."
He looked out across the skyline.
"And he never once asked me to forget you."
The words came a little easier now.
"I told him yes."
Steve leaned back against the bench.
"I hope you understand."
He hesitated.
"I'm not replacing you."
His voice softened.
"And I'm not breaking my promise."
"I'll always love you."
He paused.
"But I think you'd want me to keep living."
For a moment Steve simply sat there, listening to the sounds of the park.
After a while he stood up.
"That's all I wanted to tell you," he said quietly.
He took one last look at the bench.
Then he turned and walked back down the path.
At the edge of the park, Kevin waited near the gate.
When he saw Steve approaching, he smiled.
"How'd it go?" he asked.
Steve thought about it for a moment.
Then he nodded.
"I think... he understands."
Kevin reached for his hand.
They walked down the street together as the afternoon sun settled over the city.