Stefan didn’t like that part of the diary….
I’m glad she didn’t sleep with Milo. I think I would have been turned off by her. I don’t need to bare my heart to her in the labyrinth we have lost ourselves in if there were no chance to find her and have her still need me. I couldn’t bear all this longing only to be replaced by another.
Sure, she sleeps with her husband just as I sleep with my wife. But that is in the confines of what we both expect. This craziness between us shouldn’t be, but I’m intrigued by it.
Lisa sleeps as I read this. I hate to think of her being hurt in any way. That is why I should destroy this diary. It is like quicksand and I’m already in too deep. Where is the way out?
Keep it a fantasy, I tell myself. I reach out to the inner realms with my hopes and dreams, and I beg to reach her there. Wherever you are, Dreama, beautiful being with graceful shoulders and that slender neck that I ache to kiss, don’t let me touch you, because if I did, I wouldn’t stop. I would betray the trust of my wife. I would let myself down and wound that part of me that has been intact until now.
I turned out the light and walked through the silence. Tonight, I have not cheated. I can sleep without the guilt unless my dreams are haunted. Even so, I don’t regret them.