School had just started again. Summers in Hot Springs, Arkansas, were always busy. My parents owned an old hotel near the tourist area. I never liked summer. Honestly, I really didn’t.
We had two houses. One was a big ranch about forty minutes from Hot Springs, with horses, cows, chickens, and lots of land to keep me busy. I always wore my cowboy hat, tall boots, and a skirt.
Everyone used to call me "Stinky stinky girl, you smell like cow patt." That’s what people called me for as long as I can remember. My name was Juliette Cow Patty. My dad kept a big herd of Angus cattle on the ranch. I still remember my first day of school: the way the air felt, my brown hair, the freckles on my nose, and the glasses I always wore. I never forgot them.
I have a strong southern accent and always wore my cowboy boots to school. The school was small, in the little town of Bismarck, Arkansas. The elementary, middle, and high schools were all right next to each other.
That August morning, the air was thick and hot. The trees didn’t help; it was stuffy, humid, and just plain awful. That’s all I’ll say.
I was almost late for the first day of school, and it really wasn’t my fault.
"Juliette, get out of bed, my dear," Ma pulled the blanket off the bed and dropped it on the floor. "Julie, how many times have I told you to stop switching on the fan when you're still wrapped up like a burrito?"
"Ma... one minute..." I pulled the blanket back over me, all but my feet dangling out, and snoozed right back off.
"Honey, you want your daddy to come wake you up?" Ma's hand went to her hip as she pulled the blanket off again. "John? John! Your sweet pie ain't waking up. You better get up here."
She sighed. "JOHN!"
"Okay, okay, Ma, I'm awake. Don't get Daddy. Please."
"Ya better hurry, go wash your face, brush your teeth, and come find me to comb your hair. You know the drill."
"Okay, Ma."
Only cold water on my face could wake me up. I brushed my teeth, washed up, and put on my favorite skirt and cowboy boots. Back then, I thought my style was perfect. Now, I wouldn’t let my daughters wear what I wore that day.
"Eggs? Pancakes? Or just plain cereal?" Pa was cooking the usual. That was his specialty. Nobody touched breakfast in that house except Pa.
"Just plain cereal, Daddy," I said as I sat across from my older brother, Kyle. He was a bit of a ladies' man. Since we were so far apart in age, it felt like we were both only children in the same house. He was ten years older than me, a senior in high school, and had dated almost every girl in town. I never understood how two kids from the same parents could be so different, but he was definitely the school's favorite. He played football and had blond hair, while I had darker hair and brown hazel eyes instead of his blue. People in town used to joke, "You're certain that you're his sister?" or "You're sure you weren't adopted?" Sometimes, I wondered that myself.
Summer would turn my pale skin dark, and when that happened, I didn’t look like a Madison at all. "U-ga-yv-tsah," Granny used to say. That was a Cherokee word I never understood.
"You ready to be in second grade? You're going to be a big girl before you know it." Daddy fixed my cereal bowl, sliced a few strawberries, drizzled them with honey, and never forgot the blueberries on top of my Cheerios.
"I guess so," I answered him with a full spoon already in my mouth.
"Did you bring the brush?" Ma was still in her pajamas, hair piled into a big bun on top of her head. She ran the hotel on weekends while Pa ran the farm.
"Hmm... oh no, I forgot," I said. "Can I just not comb my hair? It always ends up a mess anyway, Ma."
"No, you have to comb your hair. What did I say about letting it turn into a mess? Lice can live in that forest, you know."
"Bus'll be here in ten minutes. Put your shoes on, Jul."
"Okay, Daddy, but I don't have any socks."
"Here, honey." Ma slipped a pink pair onto my feet, then helped me with my cowboy boots. No one would see those socks anyway.
"Hold your sister's hand, Kyle. Sit with her on the bus, please."
"Aite, got it." Kyle, in his gym shorts and Arkansas University football jersey, took my hand and walked me across the narrow road on Beaver Street.
The bus was loud and crowded with kids and teenagers for the ten-minute ride to school. My brother was one of the cool kids, and everyone knew him, especially the older students. I felt proud and safe walking next to him. But as soon as I got off the bus and walked into the elementary school, I was on my own.
"Mrs. Leonvin's class, do you know where this room is?" I asked one of the teachers by the front entrance.
"Oh, honey, just down the hall to your right. Room 201, okay?"
"Thank you, ma'am."
"No problem, honey. Have a great first day of school."
"201...201..." I kept my eyes on the room numbers, but when I found 201, it was Mrs. Lee's class. The bell had rung, and I was lost. A staff member finally took me to the right class, 210. I’m not sure if the teacher at the front heard me, or maybe my accent made it sound like "Mrs. Lee."
I was five minutes late for my class, and it really wasn’t my fault.
“Now, class, I’m Mrs. Leonvin, and we are going to follow some rules around here. I’m…” She paused and smiled at me. “Did you get lost?”
I nodded. Everyone shifted their attention to me when I entered that door.
Mrs. Leonvin’s name sounded different, but she spoke with a southern accent like everyone else. I hung my backpack where my name was taped. It was bright pink with a little cow keychain on the zipper. I was a proud cowgirl.
"Find your name. That'll be your group for the rest of the school year. Get to know each other. I want you to sit down and decorate your name tag with some creativity, okay? Understood?" Mrs. Leonvin had the nicest way of talking. "And make sure you say hi to your neighbors, the one across from you and the one right beside you."
I sat at table six, where my name was, with four small desks in a square, each with flowers and name tags.
"Hi, I'm Juliette Madison." I turned to the girl on my right.
"I'm Sarah Johnson."
The seat in front of me sat empty, a name card reading Calvin propped against it, another boy's seat beside him.
"What's your name?" I asked the boy across from Sarah.
"I'm Noah." He said it so quietly I could barely make it out.
"What?"
"Noah."
"Oh, Noah. Okay, I'm Julie... ette." I slowed myself down. Then a boy in a white-collared shirt and navy shorts walked up, his hair styled to one side. I had never seen a boy so handsome. He had blue eyes, dirty blond hair, and a dimple when he talked. He slid into the seat in front of me. "Calvin," I muttered under my breath. He was late too.
I don't think I'd ever blushed so hard. He hadn't even said his name to me, just sat down and leaned back in his chair. I thought he was quiet. I was wrong about that.
"Calvin, Calvin." He turned and introduced himself properly to the boy beside him and to Sarah, but when his eyes landed on me, all he did was look me up and down and turn right back around like I wasn't even there.
The room smelled like fresh paper and crayons, with glue drying on the tables. My pink shirt, ruffled blue jean skirt, thick glasses, and ponytail were all things kids teased me about. And of course, there was my smell from the ranch.
"You smell like cow patty."
That was just the first day. In the days that followed, I became Juliette Cow Patty, or worse, Juliette Poop.
The first time I got bullied on the playground, I remember thinking maybe it was the glasses. That was also the first time somebody besides my brother stood up for me. I'd been shoved out of the way on purpose, kids circling and chanting Cow Patty, Juliette Poop.
August went by quickly. Before I knew it, October’s cool air had moved in. Halloween is my favorite time of year. I love scary things and candy. Our hotel always had spooky decorations in the lobby. Then Ma would go all out at the ranch, turning it into a Harry Potter-themed maze with witches and wizards. I grew up with that.
"Juliette, come here, let's see what the sorting hat put you in?" Ma and Kyle would act out the whole scene. That was our family tradition. Every year, the theme was a different Potter house. That’s what my ranch is known for.
Rain fell that day. In the fall of 2003, right before Halloween, Bismarck turned beautiful, with gold, orange, and brown colors all over town and quiet mountains in the distance. For many travelers, it could have been mistaken for somewhere in the old English colonies, like Maine. It was the rainy season, so we didn’t get to go outside for recess as much as we wanted. The ground was soaked, but that day it was enough just to be outside and breathe in the fresh air.
"I dare you to splash that dirt on Cow Poop girl," one of the boys said.
"Watch me."
Before I knew what was happening, mud hit my clothes. "Cow poop, eww, cow poop! That's why you're stinky!"
I cried. I didn't know what else to do.
Then, a voice shouted from behind
"THAT IS NOT NICE!" He pushed the boy away. "Stop! That's not how you treat people. I'm reporting you to the teacher right now."
He walked straight up to me, took my hand, and led me to the office. "You're gonna be okay. I'll make sure they don't do that to you again. I'm telling the teacher."
I cried the whole way, my dress ruined. I looked like I was covered in poop.
"What is wrong, sweetpie?" Mrs. Laim, the coolest school secretary with thick, curly hair, didn’t care about weight, but food was all she talked about. "How you get dirt all over you?"
"Some kids threw dirt on her." He answered.
"Well, well... let's call your parents to bring you new clothes, and we will address that issue. No one in this school should bully anyone. " Her voice softened, picking up the phone and starting to dial.
"Mrs. Madison, we have a situation here."
All I heard was blah blah blah. My ears tuned it out. By the time I paid attention again, Pa and Ma had already arrived at school to pick me up. I didn't see him leave. But I knew one thing.
His name was Calvin. That was the day, on October 30, 2003, a day before Halloween. The day I secretly admired him, and he was my first crush.