8:09:00 AM — Saturday
Officer Hal was enjoying a rare day off.
He was sitting at the kitchen table with his wife and children, drinking coffee and enjoying something that had become increasingly rare in Desert Blossom:
peace.
His uniform was hanging in the closet.
His cruiser was parked in the driveway.
For once, nobody was stealing anything.
Nobody was trespassing.
Nobody was trying to sell stolen merchandise out of a shopping cart.
Life was good.
8:11:14 AM
His phone rang.
It was Clara.
Clara was the dispatcher for the Desert Blossom Police Department.
She was also the person most responsible for ruining Hal's days off.
Hal stared at the phone.
His wife stared at Hal.
The phone continued ringing.
Hal answered.
"Clara."
"Hal."
"What happened?"
"Somebody stole thirteen pallets from behind the Goodwill."
Hal closed his eyes.
"Son of a bitch."
"That's what I said."
"Did you get a description?"
There was a pause.
"Yeah."
Hal sighed.
"It's Kyle."
"I was afraid you'd say that."
"I haven't even asked you."
"I know."
Hal stood up.
His wife didn't say anything.
She didn't need to.
She had known Hal long enough to understand that if Kyle was involved, his day off was over.
8:37 AM
Hal pulled his cruiser into the dirt driveway of the 1959 single-wide occupied by Catalytic Kyle and Methanny.
He immediately knew something was wrong.
There was a kiddie pool in the front yard.
There was a coyote in the kiddie pool.
The coyote was wearing a Burger King crown.
Hal slowly got out of his cruiser.
He stared at the animal.
The animal stared back.
Hal looked toward the single-wide.
Then back at the coyote.
"Why me, God?"
Kyle popped his head up from behind the kiddie pool.
"Officer Hal!"
Hal walked toward him.
"Where are the pallets?"
Kyle looked confused.
"What pallets?"
"The thirteen pallets you stole from Goodwill."
"Oh."
Kyle thought for a moment.
"I didn't steal them."
Hal raised an eyebrow.
"I thought they were free."
"Why?"
"They were outside."
Hal stared at him.
"Kyle."
"Yeah?"
"Just because something is outside doesn't mean you can take it."
Kyle nodded slowly.
"I understand."
"Good."
"I won't make that mistake again."
"Good."
"I'll ask next time."
Hal pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Where are the pallets?"
"I sold them."
"To whom?"
"A man named Karl."
"How much?"
Kyle looked embarrassed.
"Nine dollars and eighty-three cents."
Hal stared at him.
"You stole thirteen pallets for nine dollars and eighty-three cents?"
"They were free."
"That's not the point."
Kyle shrugged.
"I thought it was a pretty good deal."
Hal sighed.
"Kyle, I'm going to have to take you in."
"Again?"
"Yes."
Kyle climbed out of the kiddie pool.
The coyote remained in the water.
Hal pointed at it.
"What's that?"
"That's Pumpkin."
"That's a coyote."
"She's a very sweet girl."
"She's wearing a Burger King crown."
Kyle smiled.
"She likes Burger King."
Hal looked toward the sky.
"Why me?"
Suddenly the front door of the single-wide flew open.
Methanny came sprinting outside.
"PUMPKIN! GET BACK HERE!"
Hal turned.
A raccoon came charging around the corner of the trailer.
It moved with the speed and determination of Seabiscuit.
It tore across the yard.
It blew past Kyle.
It blew past Hal.
It disappeared behind the cruiser.
Hal watched it go.
There was a long silence.
"Was that Pumpkin?"
"No," Methanny said.
"Then who the hell was that?"
"That's Pumpkin."
Hal slowly turned toward the coyote.
The coyote was still sitting in the kiddie pool.
He looked back at the raccoon.
Then at Methanny.
"Then who's that?"
"Precious."
Hal's face went completely blank.
"Of course."
Methanny suddenly stopped.
Hal looked down.
A small plastic baggie had fallen from underneath her wig.
Hal stared at it.
Methanny stared at it.
Kyle stared at it.
The coyote stared at it.
The raccoon was somewhere under the cruiser.
Hal sighed.
"Methanny."
"Yes, Officer Hal?"
"You know the drill."
Methanny nodded.
"Yep."
She put her hands behind her back.
"Am I going downtown?"
"Yes."
"Can I bring Precious?"
"No."
"Pumpkin?"
"No."
"Can Kyle bring the Burger King crown?"
"No."
Kyle looked disappointed.
9:02 AM
Hal drove Kyle and Methanny to the Desert Blossom City Jail.
The jail had a special holding cell informally known among the officers as the Honeymoon Suite.
It had originally been intended for temporary holding.
Over the years, however, it had become exclusively associated with two people.
Kyle.
And Methanny.
Hal opened the door.
Kyle walked in.
Methanny followed.
They sat down.
Hal closed the door.
He looked through the bars.
"Do you two understand why you're here?"
Kyle nodded.
"The pallets."
Methanny nodded.
"The baggie."
Hal sighed.
"Correct."
Kyle raised his hand.
"Can I ask one question?"
Hal looked at him.
"What?"
"Can we get the pallets back?"
Hal stared at him.
"Kyle."
"Yeah?"
"You sold them for nine dollars and eighty-three cents."
"Yeah."
"To Karl."
"Yeah."
"Do you know where Karl lives?"
Kyle smiled.
"No."
Hal walked away.
From inside the cell, Kyle shouted:
"But I think he's got a truck!"