It was a slow, rainy Tuesday in Desert Blossom.
Hal should have known better.
Things had been quiet.
Almost too quiet.
He was sitting at his desk, drinking coffee and filling out paperwork when the phone rang.
It was the Dollar Store.
Approximately ten dollars' worth of discarded cosmetics had gone missing.
Estimated street value:
$4.73.
Hal slowly put down his coffee.
"Fucking Kyle again."
Twenty minutes later, Hal pulled his cruiser up to the 1959 single-wide.
He immediately heard screaming.
Music was playing.
There were children running around the yard.
And in the middle of the property was what appeared to be a bouncy castle.
Hal got closer.
It was an inflatable mattress covered with a blue tarp.
Hal stared at it.
"I really don't get paid enough for this."
Kyle came running over.
"Officer Hal!"
Hal looked at him.
"Birthday party?"
"Yeah!"
"Whose birthday?"
Kyle paused.
"I don't know."
Hal stared at him.
"What?"
"We just thought the party would be fun."
Hal decided not to pursue that line of questioning.
He looked around.
"Do you know anything about some cosmetics that disappeared from the Dollar Store?"
Kyle's expression changed.
"Oh, those?"
"Yes. Those."
"I saw them in the back."
"Employees only."
Kyle nodded.
"Yeah."
"They were being discarded."
"Yeah."
"And you took them."
Kyle looked confused.
"Well, they were throwing them away."
Hal sighed.
"Kyle, those cosmetics were in an employees-only area."
"Yeah."
"They weren't available to the public."
"Okay."
"They weren't safe for use."
Kyle thought about this.
"Well, they should have put a sign up."
Hal stared at him.
"A sign?"
"Yeah."
"Like what?"
Kyle shrugged.
"Don't take the free stuff."
Hal closed his eyes.
"Kyle, if something is sitting in an employees-only area, you don't take it."
"But they were throwing it away."
"That's not the point."
"It seemed like the point."
Hal took a breath.
"Where are the cosmetics?"
Kyle smiled.
"I sold them."
Hal's expression changed.
"To whom?"
"Some guy outside the gas station."
"For how much?"
Kyle looked at Methanny.
Methanny looked at Kyle.
Kyle finally answered.
"We didn't really sell them."
Hal waited.
"We bartered."
Hal sighed.
"What did you barter them for?"
Kyle began listing the items on his fingers.
"Some food. A lighter. Two phone chargers. And—"
Hal stopped him.
"Did you buy drugs?"
Before Kyle could answer, the front door of the single-wide flew open.
Methanny came storming outside.
"Why hell no we didn't buy drugs!"
Hal looked at her.
Methanny continued.
"We bartered for them!"
There was a long silence.
Hal looked at Kyle.
Kyle nodded.
"She's right."
Hal stared at both of them.
"You understand that barter is still a transaction?"
Methanny looked genuinely offended.
"We didn't buy anything."
"You exchanged stolen merchandise for other things."
"But no money changed hands."
Hal rubbed his forehead.
"Get in the cruiser."
Kyle sighed.
"Again?"
"Yes."
Methanny looked toward the birthday party.
"What about the kids?"
Hal looked at the inflatable mattress covered by the blue tarp.
"I'm sure they'll survive."
Kyle started walking toward the cruiser.
Then he stopped.
"Officer Hal?"
"What?"
"Can we bring the bouncy castle?"
Hal looked at him.
"No."
"Why?"
"Because it's a mattress."
Kyle looked offended.
"It's an inflatable recreational facility."
Hal opened the cruiser door.
"Get in the car, Kyle."
And so, for the third time that month, Catalytic Kyle and Methanny returned to their favorite destination:
The Honeymoon Suite.
Hal drove back toward the station.
Behind him, the blue tarp slowly blew off the inflatable mattress.
The birthday party continued without him.