The man who built the house had brought the safe in for reasons unknown. Laura had found the combination and the keys in a box with all the manuals and warranties for every appliance the original family had ever owned.
He opened the big door, door, then grabbed the key off a nearby nail to open the second compartment, where he kept the strange black, pink, and orange feather, the basket of seashells and a starfish from when he and his family had visited "Undeweah Gwama" in California, a beautiful amethyst crystal he had gotten from Grandma Margaret and Grandpa Charlie, his metal robot bank with $23.57, and a few pine cones. Then he opened the little compartment that held a pile of foreign coins Grandpa Charlie had given him. He picked two up and looked at them. One was from a place called Brasil and another from a land called Colombia. He always wondered what these other lands were like. Were they like different planets?
"Charlie!" his dad called from the top of the stairs.
Charlie sighed, set the rock on top of the coins, then locked each door of the safe carefully before he headed to the door to his domain.
His dad was standing at the top of the stairs with a stern look on his face that almost cracked when he saw his boy, still not dressed, face still dirty, with his muddy pig on his shoulder and his filthy snake draped around his neck.
Charlie stood at the foot of the stairs hesitantly.
"Hey bud... I was wondering if you could help me with the steaks."
Charlie grinned. "Ok! I'd wove to!"
"Great. Go get some clothes on and we'll get started."
Charlie looked down. "Do I haveta?"
Rich suppressed a laugh. "Yes, Sandy's here, remember?"
Charlie stamped his foot with a "humph!" as he turned and headed back to his room, emerging a few minutes later in a pair of bright red shorts.
Soon, Charlie was next to his dad in front of their red barbecue, and Winston and Frankie were sitting quietly on the bench of their redwood picnic table. Charlie was wearing an apron, standing on two stacked cinder blocks, helping his dad pour the briquettes into the barbecue. When they had enough, Rich popped the spout up on the lighter fluid and handed it to Charlie.
"Ok, now pour it on really good, then tip it back up so you don't make a trail back to you!"
Charlie stood on his tiptoes, squirted the fluid onto the briquettes, then tipped the can up and pulled back. "Wike that?"
Rich smiled. "You got it! Now set the can down here and step back!"
Charlie jumped off the blocks and set the can down, then stepped back further from the can. When he was far enough away, Rich struck a match and tossed it on the briquettes. Charlie's eyes lit up as the flame went "whoosh!" and flared up. He watched, entranced, as the flame danced in front of him.
Charlie and Rich stood by the barbecue, watching the flames die down. Rich stared at the ground for a second, then cleared his throat. "Your mom... uh, tells me that you, um, helped Wayne today?"
Charlie nodded and lit up. "Yep! I hewped him dwive the naiws into the...." Charlie paused and glanced carefully at his dad.
Rich raised his eyebrow. "The what? Go on..."
Charlie looked down at his feet. "Mama said I ain't 'posed ta say the wowds Wayne taught me."
Rich bit his lip and looked away, barely suppressing a chuckle. "Um, she didn't mean all the words.... Just certain ones..."
Charlie scrunched his forehead. "But, how do I know which ones?"
Rich shifted uneasily, then looked over at Charlie. "How about you go ask your mom for the steaks?"
Charlie nodded, then headed into the house, where his mom was pulling the thawed steaks out of the microwave. She handed the plate to Charlie, reminding him to hold the plate straight so it didn't drip.
Charlie carefully brought the stakes out and set them on the picnic table, then went back into the house for everything else. He grabbed the tongs, then the salt, pepper, and garlic his mom had set on the table for him. He stuck his tongue out just a little as he tried to juggle everything, then set everything down and grabbed a grocery sack from the little cloth bag holder on the wall. He set everything in the bag, then took the cup of butter his mom was pulling out of the microwave. She asked if he had everything ok, and he nodded vigorously.
Laura stopped Charlie at the kitchen door.
"Hey, don't forget the knife!"
Charlie paused, and his eyes widened. His mom was going to let him carry the knife?
Charlie slung the grocery sack on his shoulder, then reached out for the knife, holding it down, then pranced proudly to the back door after his mom, who opened the door for him. He carefully carried everything, careful not to spill the butter, making sure the knife was pointing down, to the picnic table. He set everything down carefully next to the steak, then brushed the pesky flies away from the meat.
His dad set the grill over the briquettes, and he and Charlie carefully placed the steaks on it. Rich asked Charlie to season the steaks, which he did a little too enthusiastically, so Rich scraped a bit off with the tongs when Charlie was putting the garlic back on the table.
Rich and Charlie sat down on the bench. Charlie looked at his dad. "Weww? What wowds can I use?"
Rich shook his head, grinning ruefully. "You aren't giving this up, are you?"
Charlie shook his head no vigorously, then gazed up at his dad. "Nope. I weawned new wowds today, and I wanna know which wowds I ain't 'posed ta use!"
Rich reached down and grabbed a blade of grass. "Well, there are certain parts of speech. A noun, for instance, is a 'person, place, thing, or idea.' So whatever you were hammering that nail into, you'd use a noun to describe it. Was it a two by four, a subfloor....?"
Charlie nodded. "It was a sub fwoow. Wayne used two by sixes for the wawws and he used a nail gun cuz his awm was tiwed. And... he gave me my own hammew!"
He bolted up and ran over to his bike, picking up his tool belt and hammer. His dad followed him. "Wayne gave you those, huh?"
Charlie nodded. "Yup! My vewy own hammew and toow bewt!"
Rich patted Charlie on the head. "That's great!"
Charlie wrapped the belt around his waist under his apron, and his dad helped him fasten it.
They headed back to the grill. Rich opened it, and he and Charlie savored the smell of the searing meat. Rich checked the bottom of the steaks. They were ready to flip. He flipped them over, and had Charile pour the butter on and season them. He sent Charlie back to the table with the seasonings and scraped a little excess seasonings off of the meat.
Charlie retuned and stepped up on thi sblocks. "So, which wowds ain't I 'posed to use?"
Rich set the lid back on the barbecue. "Ok, so nouns like hammer or subfloor are ok to use. Then we have words that are called, um, expletives. Words that we say when we're... upset. Some of those are ok. But some are grown-up words."
"Wike dang?"
"Well, dang is... kind of ok... But don't use it too much..."
"Wike shit?"
Rich grimaced. "Yeah, like, um, that one. That's a grown-up word. Don't say that one again."
Charle nodded. "What 'bout wowds we say when wewe happy? Wike gwassiest or bien?"
Rich scratched his head. "Where'd you hear those?"
Charlie lit up. "When I was helping that nice man in the field."
Rich looked amazed. "So you met Socorro today, huh?"
Charlie nodded.
Rich shook his head. "You've had quite a day, little man! Let's get you fed. You must be starving!"
Once the steaks were cooked, the family was gathered around the picnic table. Sandy had gone home, and it was just Charlie, his parents, and Amy. Amy said grace, then Charlie started telling his family about his crazy adventures as he started cutting into his steak with his steak knife, insisting, once again, that he do it "Aww by his sewf!" He finally managed to cut a piece of steak, stopping talking long enough to pop it into his mouth. He closed his eyes and chewed happily, then let out a quick burp and sat back with a wide grin.
"Yum! This steak is so fuckin' good!"
Everyone froze, forks mid-air. Amy's jaw dropped as she stared at her little brother. Laura shot Rich a quick glance. Rich cleared his throat. "Um, Charlie, that's one of those words we talked about not using..."
Charlie tipped his head. "What? You said I couwd say wowds peopwe say when they'we happy!"
Rich coughed. "Um, I guess I forgot about that one..."
****************
The family was gathered in the family room. Rich was sitting in his recliner holding the family Bible. Charlie, finally clean with his mom's help, despite his protests, was in his Batman underwear. He was perched happily on his dad's shoulders. Frankie and Winston, who Amy had begrudgingly cleaned and blow-dried, were perched on his own shoulders.
Amy was on the couch next to Laura, resting her head on her mom.
Rich was reading, "And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them. But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, 'Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for such is the kingdom of God.'"
Charlie spoke up. "How come Jesus wants the chiwdwen to suffuh?"
Rich craned his neck so he could look at Charlie. "Here, 'suffer' just means to 'let.'"
Charlie nodded his head. "Ok." He slid down his dad, barely missing the Bible, and walked over to the piano. He climbed onto the bench, lifted the little teddy bear off the top of the piano, then brought it over to his mom and crawled onto her lap. "Mama, is that why Jesus took Benny? 'Cause he wants the chiwdwen to come to him?"
Laura teared up. "Well, honey, Jesus wants all of us to come to him, but... I guess some he wants to come sooner than others."
Charlie hugged the bear. "But we needed Benny too!"
Larua sniffed and wiped her eye. "I know. And we'll all be happy when we see him again in heaven, won't we?"
Charlie frowned. "But I wanna see him now!"
Laura stroked his hair. "I know."
Rich cleared his throat. "Let's pray."
Everyone kneeled as Rich prayed.
After the prayer, Laura asked Charlie to pick out a bedtime story. Charlie went to the little bookshelf on the wall and pulled Where the Wild Things Are and The Day Jimmy's Boa Ate The Wash. Laura shook her head. "It's getting late. We've just got time for one."
Amy piped up. "I want Anne! We've read about the wild things and Jimmy's boa every night this month!"
Charlie scowled. "Fine, we'ww read youw dumb giws book."
Amy grabbed Anne of Green Gables out of the bookshelf. Grandma Margaret had given it to both of them, but it was Amy's favorite.
Charlie curled up on Laura's lap, and Amy snuggled close as Laura opened the book and started reading.
"Chapter 15. A Tempest in the School Teapot. 'What a splendid day!' said Anne, drawing a long breath...."
Charlie was soon just as drawn in as Amy was. He wondered what it would be like to be in school. He didn't think it sounded that nice, really. He decided he would much rather wander through Willowmere and Violet Vale and the Birch Path (he'd, of course, skip Lover's Lane. Too mushy!) than spend the day in the school. He'd even try to read in one of these places, if school was all about reading anyway. Why not read outside?
Charlie found himself drifting off a bit, until his mom started reading about how Gilbert Blythe pinned Ruby Gillis's braid. He chuckled at Glibert's trick. Amy scowled at him. "That's not funny!"
Charlie laughed again at Gilbert as he tried to get Anne's attention. "That's siwwy! Why wouwd a boy want to get a giw's attention?"
Amy sniffed. "You're just too silly to realize how wonderful girls can be!"
Rich laughed. "I think it's ok if we keep it that way for a long time!"
Amy glared at him.
Rich grinned sheepishly. "Except for you, of course! It's the other girls he can wait on! Same goes with you and noticing the boys except for Charlie, you know...."
Amy blushed.
Laura cleared her throat. "Can I keep going, or do we need to stop?"
"Keep going!" Charlie and Amy piped up.
Laura continued. "Gilbert Blythe wasn't used to putting himself out to make a girl look at him and meeting with failure. She should look at him, that readhaired Shirley girl with the little pointed chin and the big eyes that weren't like the eyes of any other girl in Avonlea school.
"Gilbert reached across the aisle, picked up the end of Anne's long braid, held it out at arm's length and said, in a piercing whisper,
"'Carrots! Carrots!'"
Charlie squealed with laughter and reached over to Amy's hair. She pulled back. "Don't you dare!"
Laura cleared her throat.
"Keep reading!" Amy and Charlie chimed.
"Then Anne looked at him with a vengeance!
She did more than look. She sprung to her feet, her bright fancies fallen into clueless ruin. She flashed one indignant glance at Gilbert from eyes whose angry sparkle was swiftly quenched in equally angry tears.
"'You mean, hateful boy!'; she exclaimed passionately. 'How dare you!'
"And then– Twack! Anne had brought her slate down on Gilbert's head and cracked it— slate, not head— clear across."
Charlie winced and covered his head. Amy burst out laughing. "Ha! He got what he deserved!"
"Did not! That was mean!" Charlie protested.
"Was not! He deserved every bit of it, that nasty boy!"
"Hey! Don't say that 'bout Giwbewt!" Charlie shot back.
Laura set the book down. "Ok, you too, time for bed!"
After a few protests, Charlie and Amy hugged and kissed their parents good night, and Charlie, Winston, and Frankie headed to bed. Charlie knelt down by his bed to say his prayers, and soon was drooling on a green Triceratops on his bedspread.