Charlie crossed a ditch, then slid between the strands of barbed wire on the fence separating the subdivision and the field. Once on the other side, he waded through the alfalfa, which was up to his waist, shivering at the cold water clinging to the alfalfa leaves even though it was still warm outside.
The man didn't say anything. He just carried one of his pipes to the new line he was forming and showed Charlie the trick of pushing, twisting, then tugging the hand line hook it. Charlie followed him to the first line, watched him unhook the pipe, then followed him back to the new line. The man motioned for Charlie to try hooking the pipe. Charlie pushed and turned and tugged and slipped and fell in the mud and the alfalfa that looked like a forest from his back, but finally he got it, grinning wide, as he tugged the pipe and it held.
The man smiled. "Bien!" He brought another pipe, which Charlie tackled, latching it a little quicker than the last.
The man returned with the next pipe and nodded. "Gracias!"
Charlie kept going, but started slowing down a lot after the fifth pipe. After he hooked the pipe, the man patted him on the shoulder.
"Muchas gracias, señorito."
Charlie beamed.
The man beckoned to Charlie, who followed him to his 4-wheeler. The man got on and motioned for Charlie to get on as well. Charlie got on in front of the man, who turned the 4-wheeler around, then placed Charlie's hands on the handlebars and pulled his own hands away.
Charlie hesitantly pushed the lever for the gas, and the 4-wheeler lurched. He panicked, but the man laughed. Charlie tried again and drove to the end of the field, grinning as the breeze whipped through his hair and around his skin. The man took over at the barrow pit by the highway, then let Charlie drive again up his driveway and past the construction site. Charlie ran off the driveway a little as he waved to Wayne, who waved back.
Charlie pushed the throttle in a little more and the 4 wheeler lurched. He and the man both laughed, and Charlie rode past his bike, but stopped when he realized he had passed it.
He giggled as he got off the 4 wheeler, then turned to the man and grinned.
"Gwassiest!"
The man laughed, "Adios, amigo."
He waved at the man and watched as he drove out of sight.
Charlie got on his bike and started riding again. His legs were sore, but the soreness was the good kind.
His tummy started to feel sore too, but not the good kind.
He rode his bike over to the ditch, got off, grabbed a few mullein leaves, and descended into the ditch. He relieved himself, then wiped himself off with the mullein leaves, giggling a little as they tickled his butt.
When he was back on his bike and pedaling home, he started to sing a little tune. It was the belly button song, but with lyrics that went something like– "gwassiest, stud, amigo, cwystoh cowa, piece of shit, naiws, king stud, jack stud, floor joist, scawn, damn."
Charle stopped when he got to Winston and Frankie. He draped Frankie around his neck and picked up Winston.
He grinned at his friends. "Boy, have I got a wot to teww you guys!"
He grabbed the ant-filled country time bottle but dropped it when the ants started crawling onto his fingers.
He got on his bike and started his crazy song again.
"Gwanitoid, heww, cwippwe stud, phenowcwyst, bien, hawd, pwate, subfwooh, fuck!"
His singing grew louder as he neared his house.
His mom heard him before she saw him riding into the yard.
He pedaled back hard, skidding to a stop as he saw his mom storming towards him.
"Oh, oh!"
Laura raced toward her son. "Charles Richard Thompson! Where have you been? What have you been doing? Where did you get all of that stuff? Don't you ever let me hear you talk like that again!" Then she stopped, eyes widening at the scrapes on his knees. "Oh, my baby, are you hurt?"
Charlie winced a little at that last one, then stood up straight and looked his mom in the eyes. "Nope, I'm fine."
"Good." She grabbed ahold of that filthy little boy and dragged him and his bike to the house, promising she'd kill Wayne while threatening Charlie she was going to wash his mouth out with soap.
Then came the words Charlie always dreaded.
"Wait until your father gets home, young man!"
Charlie's butt started stinging, already feeling the sharp swat of his dad's belt.
When they reached the house, Laura told Charlie to unhook the sprinkler from the hose and start cleaning up as she stormed inside.
Anxiously, Charlie dropped his bike and took off his gloves and tool belt, setting them on his bike. Then he, Winston, and Frankie walked over to the rainbird that had been watering their lawn. He grabbed hold of the plastic nut that attached the sprinkler to the hose and started twisting it, giggling as he was sprayed by the hose. By the time he got the sprinkler off, he, Winston, and Frankie were soaked.
Laura called him over, trying to decide whether to laugh or yell. She had him open his mouth, then began scrubbing his tongue with a bar of Ivory soap until he was foaming and sputtering.
"Don't you ever let me hear those words out of your mouth again, young man!"
Charlie started panicking as he gagged on the soap. He wanted to ask her which ones– Cwystoh cowa? Gwassiest? Damn? Naiw? Pwate? Bastawd? He decided it was better to avoid all of them.
Satisfied that she had cleaned the profanity out of Charlie's mouth, Laura swatted Charlie on the butt and sent him in the direction of the hose to clean off, while she headed back inside the house to finish supper.
Charlie tried to wipe the mud off of his shorts, but it just smeared, so he slipped out of his water shoes, wet shorts, and underwear and started rubbing his body, smearing more mud and sawdust than he got off. After he had successfully smeared the mud over his body, he gave Winston a good scrub, then set the hose down, ran to the trampoline wearing nothing but his oversized goggles, and climbed onto the mat, wincing a little as the hot fabric brushed his bare skin. He started jumping higher and higher, giggling as the breeze brushed around his body and his tummy jumped inside him. He started doing all kinds of cool tricks– flips, twists, and somersaults, getting bolder and bolder as he jumped. He was having so much fun that he didn't notice when he lost his goggles.
A giggle and a gasp caught Charlie's attention. Charlie saw Amy and Sandy come around the corner of the house. Sandy squealed, "Amy! Look at your brother!"
"CHARLIE!" Amy shrieked. "GET YOUR CLOTHES ON!"
Charlie stuck his tongue at her and kept jumping.
Amy turned the faucet off, then darted toward the trampoline and leaped onto the mat.
Charlie dodged her, jumped off the mat, and dove under the trampoline.
"Mom!" Amy hollered. "Make Charlie get dressed!"
She tried to grab at Charlie, but he ran to the other side of the trampoline. Amy chased him from one side to the other as Sandy sat on a swing, laughing. Amy glared at Sandy. "Thanks a lot for your help! MOM!"
Laura opened the kitchen window. "What's going on?"
Amy turned to the house. "Charlie is out here naked, and he won't get dressed!"
Laura turned her head, struggling to keep her composure. Finally, she turned back to the window and yelled, "Charlie! Get your clothes on!"
Charlie darted out from underneath the trampoline, sticking his tongue out at Amy, grabbed Winston and Frankie, and trotted through the puddle of water on the lawn to his clothes.
He poked at his soggy underwear with his toe, then stamped his foot. "I don't wanna weah these! They'we wet and cowd!"
Laura sighed. "Fine, just bring them inside then."
Charlie picked up his underwear and shorts and paraded past Sandy, smiling and waving. Sandy giggled and Amy covered her face with her hands.
Sandy laughed as she watched Charlie leave. "He's so dang cute! I wish I could take him home!"
Amy rolled her eyes. "So do I!"
Charlie presented himself to the kitchen door a few moments later, wearing nothing but mud and sawdust. He was holding Frankie, Winston, his soggy Marvin the Martian underwear, and filthy shorts.
Laura turned her head and tried not to laugh, then turned back to Charlie. "Leave your clothes and Winston by the washer, and take Frankie downstairs and find some new clothes."
Charlie frowned. "I'm diwty. I don't wanna get cwean cwothes diwty!"
Laura sighed, "Ok, fine. Get in the shower first, then get dressed!"
Charlie set his jaw. "I don't wanna get in the showeh! I ain't done pwayin' yet!"
Laura sighed. "Well, what do you want to do then? You can't just play outside naked!"
Charlie frowned. "How come? I pway outside like this aww the time!"
Laura shook her head. "There's a girl out there, Charlie!"
Charlie scrunched up his face. "So! Amy's a giww!"
The timer started buzzing in the kitchen. Laura turned around for a second. "Just... stay right there. I've got to get the breadsticks out."
Laura headed back to the kitchen. Charlie watched her quietly, then started opening the door.
"Charlie!"
Charlie groaned. "Aww! You weawy do have eyes on the back of youw head!"
A car door shut outside. Charlie jumped and ran downstairs, still holding his clothes, Winston, and Frankie. Laura chuckled. "Perfect timing, Rich."
Charlie trotted to his bathroom and dropped his clothes on the floor. His shorts made a little "thunk!" on the linoleum. Charlie's eyes widened. "The gwanitoid!" He fished in his pocket, pulling out the rock and a handful of gooey mush. He brushed the rock up and held it up in the light, admiring it.
Panicking a little when he heard the back door close, he set the rock on the counter by his other rocks, then grabbed Frankie and Winston and jumped in the shower. He turned the water on, wincing in the hot and cold water until he got the temperature just right. He sighed as the water streamed down his body, then stood mesmerized at the little streams that carried sawdust and mud down his skin and to the shower floor. He started singing his song quietly.
"Cwysoh Cowa, cwippwe stud, phenowcwyst, bien, hawd, pwate, subfwoow, bastawd!"
**********
Rich sighed as he set his suitcase down inside the kitchen door and draped his tie over it. He slipped off his shoes, then walked over to Laura, who was peeling carrots, and hugged her.
"Hey, sweetheart. How'd today go?"
Laura kissed him, then sighed. "You're going to have to talk to that boy again, Rich."
Rich shook his head. "What this time?"
Laura scrunched her eyebrows. "I don't think he should hang around Wayne anymore. He's picking up some.... Habits."
Rich frowned. "What do you mean?"
Laura started peeling another carrot. "He's learned a few new words, for starters."
Rich rubbed his chin. "Wayne's always been careful about that."
Laura started attacking another carrot with the peeler. "He seems to have forgotten or something."
Rich sighed. "Ok, I'll talk to Wayne. Where's Charlie?"
"He's downstairs taking a shower, after he had been playing naked outside for who knows how long."
Rich chuckled.
Laura snapped him with her towel. "I'm blaming you for that one!"
Rich grinned sheepishly. "I'm sure he'll grow out of it."
"You apparently didn't!"
Rich looked offended. "Did too!"
"Only after we had Amy!"
********************
Charlie got out of the shower and went back to his counter. He picked up his chrysocolla-coated granitoid, draped Frankie over his neck, and a dripping and still dirty Winston over his shoulder, and headed to his room. He went directly to the huge safe in the corner and started spinning the dial.