"This is insane."
"It's necessary."
"NO, actually, kidnapping is generally considered super unhealthy communication."
The helicopter thundered through the night while Aries sat across from me, looking exhausted, injured, and annoyingly handsome.
Which, honestly, made the argument harder.
Rain hammered the windows.
Somewhere up front, the pilot—whose name was apparently Sagittarius—was smoking a cigarette directly inside the aircraft.
I pointed at him.
"Is that allowed?"
"No," said Aries.
"Okay, great, because I'm trying to identify which part of tonight is supposed to feel reassuring."
Aries pinched the bridge of his nose like he'd personally grown tired of reality.
"Pisces, people are trying to kill you."
"Oh my God, not everything is about you."
His head snapped upward.
"...What?"
"You disappeared for over a week, emotionally devastated me, faked your identity, exploded our apartment, traumatized my coworkers, and STOLE MY CASHMERE."
"That was an operational necessity."
"It was a Nordstrom necessity, Aries."
The helicopter jolted violently.
I screamed.
Sagittarius yelled from the cockpit:
"MISSILE LOCK."
"MISSILE WHAT?" I shrieked.
Aries immediately leaned forward.
"Brace."
"Brace for WH—"
The helicopter dropped suddenly.
My soul detached from my body so aggressively I briefly achieved spiritual enlightenment.
Outside the window, something exploded in the distance.
I stared at Aries in complete horror.
"You are NEVER allowed to emotionally distance yourself from me again," I said shakily. "Do you understand? We are discussing our feelings in couples therapy or I am literally calling the police."
"You think the police can help here?"
"I don't KNOW anymore."
Aries looked at me for a long moment.
Then quietly:
"I tried to leave because I thought it would keep you safe."
"Oh my God," I snapped. "That is SUCH avoidant attachment behavior."
A strange expression crossed his face.
Almost guilt.
Almost tenderness.
Then suddenly his eyes sharpened.
"Wait."
"What?"
He lunged forward.
Too late.
I felt a sharp pinch in my neck.
"What the—"
Sagittarius was holding a dart gun.
I stared at him in betrayal.
"...EXCUSE me?"
"Sorry," Sagittarius said calmly. "You were becoming operationally difficult."
"ARIES?"
Aries caught me as my vision tilted sideways.
"...You tranquilized me?"
"It's safer this way."
"You LYING—"
Darkness swallowed everything.
⸻
When I woke up, my first thought was:
I am going to kill that man.
My second thought was:
Why does the air smell like snow and cigarettes?
I sat upright violently.
Bad idea.
My head pounded like someone was DJing inside my skull.
The room around me was dimly lit and aggressively Soviet.
Gray walls.
Tiny radiator.
One sad lamp.
The emotional atmosphere of a government-issued divorce.
Aries sat near the window cleaning a gun.
A GUN.
Like this was somehow normal relationship behavior.
I stared at him.
Then at the window.
Snow drifted outside.
"Oh my God," I whispered.
Aries looked up immediately.
"You're awake."
I blinked slowly.
"...What the fuck."
"You need to stay calm."
I looked back out the window.
Snow-covered streets.
Massive stone buildings.
A neon sign in Cyrillic.
"Oh my GOD."
I pointed wildly outside.
"ARE WE IN RUSSIA?"
Aries hesitated.
"...Yes."
I physically recoiled.
"WHY?"
"It's complicated."
"Is this about your goat startup?"
Aries closed his eyes.
Jesus Christ."
"That's not a no."
Before he could answer, shouting erupted somewhere downstairs.
Aries immediately stood.
His entire body changed instantly—sharp, alert, terrifying.
The yelling got louder.
Then gunfire exploded through the building.
I screamed.
"OH MY GOD."
Aries grabbed my arm.
"We have to move."
"WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?"
The hotel room door burst inward.
A man in tactical gear shouted something furious in Russian.
Aries shoved a table directly into him.
The man disappeared beneath furniture and violence.
"MOVE," Aries barked.
I stumbled after him into the hallway wearing hotel slippers and emotional devastation.
Alarms blared.
More shouting echoed up the stairwell.
"Aries," I gasped, sprinting after him, "I literally cannot process conflict at this speed."
He grabbed my hand and dragged me around a corner.
Another gunshot exploded behind us.
Plaster shattered off the wall.
I made a sound normally associated with fainting Victorian women.
We burst into another room.
Aries locked the door behind us.
I bent over wheezing.
"Oh my God," I choked out. "I hate your career."
"It's not a career."
"THAT'S SOMEHOW WORSE."
The door shook violently behind us.
Someone shouted in Russian.
Aries crossed to the window.
Then opened it.
Cold air blasted into the room.
I stared.
Then slowly walked toward the window.
Then looked down.
The river below churned dark and icy several stories beneath us.
I turned toward him in complete disbelief.
"No."
"We don't have a choice."
"No."
"Pisces—"
"ABSOLUTELY not."
The door behind us splintered.
Aries grabbed my waist.
"Oh my God," I whispered.
"You trust me?"
"NO."
And then he pulled us out the window.
I screamed the entire way down.
"YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER—"
Wind roared past us.
"YOU LYING ASSHOLE—"
Aries tightened his grip around me.
"PISCES—"
"YOU TRANQUILIZED ME LIKE A SICK DOG—"
Then we hit the river.
The cold punched every thought directly out of my body.
For one horrible second there was only black water and chaos and Aries's arm around me.
Then we surfaced violently beneath the bridge.
I gasped for air.
Snow fell silently around us.
Somewhere above, shouting echoed across the street.
I stared at Aries in soaking wet fury.
"...I swear to God," I said through chattering teeth, "when this is over, we are either getting married or killing each other."
For the first time all night—
Aries laughed.