Pieces
by JCB
I fled to get here… wait-no. I was drawn here….
I saw them. Two young teenagers—a girl clearing her mind by strolling through the woods and a boy, living up to a dare made by his camp buddies. The two met, and a happiness neither ever experienced before blossomed between them. They thought they could do anything together, but then they went too far. The girl was expecting and had nowhere to run; the boy ran in his dreams but… he stayed. It was the baby he didn’t want, but he still wanted her. With him by her side, she decided to go through with the pregnancy. The baby survived; she didn’t. The father cried for days before officially giving the baby away.
The baby would grow up, being transferred from foster home to foster home. Even if they were paid, no one wanted to care for her long.
But a family came along. They welcomed her with open arms and actually seemed to enjoy her company. The girl was happy, so she forgot to watch her footing. Her mistake costed her home—the fire scorched it to the ground. Her home cost her family—she’s a curse.
They were right about me. My life only brought pain or burden.
Oh, I’m back. Funny, I caused so much pain, but besides my blood pooling around me, I’m not even present anymore. I can see the driver who hit me frantically speaking into the phone as a bystander reaches for my throat, perhaps.
I don’t want an ambulance. I don’t want you to find my pulse. Let me die as another Jane Doe. The only people who would recognize me wouldn’t care that I’m gone.
I always wanted to believe in God, but it’s not like He ever made it easy for me. Why… why did I live that first day?
Wait, I see a… smile? There was a worker at the orphanage who desperately craved to at least hear the voices of her estranged children again. She was dying, and her wish would go unfulfilled, but I, I brought laughter back into her life.
An old janitor with an amputated arm looked forward to hearing the funny ponderings of a little girl and sharing the few stories of his life. His smiled cried with joy, I’m not alone. It never occurred to me that he needed my company as much as I needed his.
A little boy’s smile after I muttered at his bullies, “Leave him alone; he’s human like you.” It was a smile of redemption and hope. I provided hope when I had none of my own.
The faces and voices around me fade more into a blur, except one… the teenage boy from the start, my father. He was holding me, swaddled in too many blankets for the disappearing winter weather. He was still crying over my mother’s death. He looked broken and beat, possibly crazed as he shook his head and sniffed.
I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear him blame me before he hands me over. I—
“I’m sorry.” His voice cracked. “But I don’t—I can’t care for you.” He bounced and swayed me in his arms as he waited for his voice to return. “I’m sorry it’s this way, but I want you to have a good life… I’m sorry.” He kissed the top of my head. “One day, please know I, I love you.”
He loved me. He didn’t hate me… his hope was that I would live a good life.
No… no! The faces are gone! And so are the voices! I can’t tell anymore if anyone is feeling for my pulse!
God! God, if you’re real, don’t let this be the end. There’s more to this world… there’s more than I have lived my life seeing. Give me another chance!
When I opened my eyes, the light was too bright….