Safety, I have learned, is a privilege here. Not a right. No one is able to guarantee your safety here. In this world, nowhere is safe. It's every man for himself. You have to guarantee your own safety. But that would mean making dire sacrifices in order to survive, sometimes probably at the cost of someone else's life.
I don't remember how it happened. My memory is fuzzy, and all I can see right now through my bleary eyes is the bright fire of the wreckage. The trailer lays over turned on its side, heavily damaged from what attacked us. I have no idea what it was. There was this thing, this huge thing. It was gigantic. I don't know how to describe it, I barely got a look at it. But it completely destroyed the trailer, causing us to wreck.
I'm lying on the cold, hard ground and my ears are ringing. I don't even know how I got out of the trailer. I don't even know how I'm still alive. A pair of small feet stops in front of me, right at eye level. Then a familiar face appears, a young face. It's Dawn. She's shouting something at me, but I can't hear what she's saying. It just sounds like a light echo, and her little hands are on my shoulders, pushing and shoving at me. Another pair of feet stops in front of me, boots, and these are much bigger. I hear the echo of another voice, and the flash of green eyes in front of me.
Suddenly I'm being lifted off the ground by a pair of strong hands, hoisted into someone's arms. My eyes aren't able to focus and I can barely make out Fabian's features above me. He's saying something to me, but I can't hear him. He sets me down against something hard and rough. I think it's a tree, but I feel like I don't know anything at this point. Seconds later, everything just goes black.
"How are you feeling?" Fabian's voice asks me as I am roused from unconsciousness. I groan as I sit up, head spinning.
"Easy," Fabian says softly.
"What happened? Where am I?" Everything is dark and loopy looking.
"I found a deserted cabin in the woods. It's just until you can get back on your feet," he tells me. "Neil's still sick though. Luckily, he wasn't seriously hurt in the crash."
I swallow hard, my throat sore. "Dawn?"
"Safe." Fabian gestures to the foot of Neil's bed, where Dawn sits. Her hair is dirty and tangled with grime and various debris.
"Larry?" I don't see him anywhere, but maybe he's just outside.
Fabian smiles tightly, shaking his head. "Larry...didn't make it."
I wait for the tears to come. I'm expecting to feel even a little sadness. But I cannot muster anything at all. I feel nothing. I can't feel a thing. And this. This is what unsettles me the most. I realize that I have become numb. Why can't I feel any sadness for Larry? Someone who was a friend to me.
"I know that look," Fabian says, jarring me out of my thoughts. He sits down on the edge of my cot-like bed that I just realized I'm laying on.
"What?"
"When I told you about Larry, you didn't feel anything...did you?" Fabian stares at his hands in the middle of his lap.
"How did you know?"
His green eyes meet mine. They look a little hollow now that I think about it. "Because I feel it too. And it's happening to you now. You're starting to feel numb."
I gulp, shifting slightly as I wince. "But why?"
"It's our way of trying to block out the pain, I guess. Our minds can't handle the mental stress of everything that is happening around us. So it tries to shut out any emotion it can," he explains.
"Maybe it's better that way..." My voice trails off as my head starts to sway.
"Maybe."
"Dizzy..." My head lolls against Fabian's shoulder. My vision becomes loopy again.
"You need to get some rest. Lay back down." Taking me by the shoulders, Fabian slowly eases me back onto the cot.
"But I don't..." Weird little figures start dancing above me on the ceiling. They look like little gnomes, spinning around in a circle. A bright, yellow smiley face appears in the center, bouncing all around.
"It's okay. Just go to sleep," Fabian whispers. Everything drifts off into black, and I don't remember much after that. Just weird dreams and hazy, subconscious thoughts. I'm not sure how much time has passed, but I wake up again and this time it's really dark. I don't even know if this is real, or a dream. But there's someone else in the cabin. I watch them quietly open the door and enter without a sound. Moonlight streams in through the open door, briefly illuminating a man's figure, but then it closes, turning into just a silhouette. There's a lumpy form on his back, like he's carrying something. I blink, but don't move. What should I do? Am I dreaming?
Fabian appears to be sleeping, sitting on the floor against my bed. I flop a weak arm over, nudging his shoulder with my knuckles. If this is real, I can't risk something bad happening. What if it's one of those smart zombies that can open doors? I'm not sure Fabian was even really sleeping because I barely touch him, and he wakes. He's on his feet in seconds, clicking a flashlight on. He shines it on the face of an unfamiliar man, and he squints, holding up his hands in alarm.
"Who are you?" Fabian spits out.
"I'm not your enemy, I swear," says the stranger. A hefty backpack rests on his shoulders. It's hard to see his features in the dim light of the flashlight. Neil groans in his sleep, tossing and turning restlessly.
"Yeah? Then who are you?" The muscles in Fabian's arms are taut, a vein snaking through his bicep. Why do I notice these things when I least want to? It must be because of the crash. My mind is still fuzzy.
"Liam. I saw the crash. I thought I might be able to help, so I followed you," he explains. His Adam's apple bobs nervously in his throat.
"So, you're just a good Samaritan, eh? Tell me why I should trust you."
"I...I can get you help. You need medical care, right? There's a city nearby, with doctors. It's called-"
"Brax?" Fabian finishes for him.
Liam stops, hesitating as surprise flickers across his young face. He looks sort of familiar but it's hard to tell in the dark.
"Yeah. How did you know?"
"Because that's where we were going before we crashed," Fabian tells him.
Liam places a hand on his chest. "Well, I know the way. I can take you there. If you like."
Neil groans, waking up. "What is going on here?"
"Quiet, little brother," Fabian says. "I've got this under control."
"It's not far."
"How long?"
"Less than a day away, by car."
"I don't trust you..."
"I don't have any weapons," Liam insists. "You can check."
"Take off your backpack," Fabian orders.
The boy slips it off his shoulders and it drops to the floor with a thump. Fabian goes over and first pats him down. Then, he rifles through his bag, pulling out all sorts of things. Food, clothes, tools and other miscellaneous items. But no weapons. He only had a small switchblade on his person, and an unloaded pistol.
"See?"
"Sit." Fabian points to the floor.
Liam cautiously lowers himself to the floor. "So? Are we...going?"
"You can take us in the morning. But for right now, I'm not going to let you out of my sight," Fabian says to the boy, giving him a hard stare.
"Fine. That's fine. I'm not going to try anything, I swear." Liam holds up his hands.
"Go back to sleep, Carol. I've got this under control," Fabian tells me.
I'm still not sure if any of this is real or just a dream of mine that I'm hallucinating.
By the next morning, Neil is finally conscious and able to walk on his own. He doesn't look well though, and I'm afraid that he could collapse any second. I feel like I might collapse any second. My body is sore all over and my head is pounding. I don't think I was badly wounded in the accident, but I must have some cuts and scrapes. Everything is mostly a blur. We're in what I guess is the stranger Liam's car. We're all piled in, squished uncomfortably.
"How far is it?" Fabian asks Liam.
"Not far. A few hours, at least. We should be there by noon if we don't run into any deterrents."
Fabian gets in the driver's seat. "I'm driving. You tell me where to go."
"Yes sir..." Liam sighs and gets in.
Many hours later, we're arriving at the gates of a small, walled city. It's not by any means what I would call glamorous, but it looks like a dream to me. Two heavily armed men in uniform stand at the entrance, and one of them holds out a hand for us to stop. Fabian slows the car to a halt.
"This is the right place?" he asks, still appearing skeptical.
"Yes. The sign over there says Brax if you don't believe me." Liam points to a withering blue sign that reads, "Welcome to Brax. The new city."
"Step out of the vehicle." One of the men looms in front of Fabian's window. "All of you."
Fabian cuts the engine and slowly gets out of the car. Liam gets out after him, and I wait a minute or two before doing the same. Dawn clambers out behind me and clings to the back of my leg.
"Where are we?" Neil stumbles out of the car, disoriented. He coughs, leaning against the car.
"Don't talk. Get your hands up," the guard orders, slightly raising his gun. Fabian slowly puts his arms in the air, and I follow.
"Who are you?" Neil is staring hard at Liam, face haggard and droopy.
"No talking."
"Look, I'm a current resident of Brax. These people are with me," Liam jumps in, his hands raised high.
"Where's your resident identification?"
Liam pulls something out of his pocket, a small card. He hands it to one of the guards, who inspects it closely for several minutes. Finally, he hands it back wordlessly, and presses some sort of earpiece.
"They're clear. Open the gate."
With a loud clang, the sound of a latch releases and the gate wrenches itself open. The five of us move to get back in the car, but the guards stop us.
"No. You will proceed on foot."
Quietly, and with a line of guards behind us, we enter the new city. I'm not sure what to expect here, but a funny feeling crawls into my gut and stays there, pooling through my insides.