Since it was just a minor sprain, my ankle has healed some. I'm able to walk on it now, but I still have a slight limp. I'm just glad it wasn't broken. It's been a rough few days. Neil has fallen ill. For the past two or three days after we got back to camp, he's been sick. He has a really high fever, chills and aches. He mutters incoherently in his sleep at night. Larry, being the medic, has been the one taking care of him. I try to do my best to take care of him, but I don't know what to do.
Now, I'm with Fabian on a supply run. We're trying to find medicine for Neil. I insisted on coming just to feel like I was contributing, but I still feel useless. But how can we find any type of medicine when we're in the middle of nowhere? We don't know where the nearest pharmacy might be. So instead, we're raiding any house we come across.
"Anything?" I ask Fabian as I watch him root through cabinets.
He slams the small doors shut with a bang. "Nothing. Empty. Looks like someone's already raided this house."
"What has happened to the world?" I huff, leaning against a counter. Broken glass cracks under my feet as I step on what appears to be a fragment of a broken dish.
"What world?" Fabian replies cynically.
"So...that's it? Society is just completely gone?" I feel myself falling into a pit of despair, the sadness rising up like a great wave.
"Clearly. There's nothing left," he says. "There's nothing left anywhere."
"There isn't any form of government at all?"
"None that I know of. Civilization is gone, Carol," Fabian tells me in the most gentle way possible. "I have no idea where you came from, but whatever world it was...it's gone now."
Staring down at the broken shards beneath my feet, I think about my mom again. And Janette. They're both alone. It makes me sad because I can't be with them while all this is happening. Why did it have to be me? It could have been anyone else. And now I'll probably never see them again. I won't be able to live out the life I wanted. I didn't even get to finish high school. Then there's Dawn. Poor Dawn. She's just a little girl. I don't know her exact age, but she's so young. She shouldn't have to grow up in a world like this. She's not going to have any semblance of a normal life. Instead of worrying about making friends, school and having play dates, she has to worry about not getting chowed down by a zombie.
I feel worse about Dawn. I at least got to have a normal life, to grow up. She didn't. Her parents are dead, she has no home and she doesn't get to live how she's supposed to. My mind spirals through all of these sad and depressing thoughts, and suddenly my eyes are wet, and tears are running down my cheeks, and my chest is heaving. My throat is aching.
"crap," Fabian says, his voice sounding distant. "Are you crying?"
I shake my head furiously. "Nuh-uh."
"I didn't mean to...crap, please don't cry." He scratches the back of his head nervously.
I spin around, wiping my tears. "I'm not....c-c-crying."
He takes a deep breath, approaching me from behind. "I'm not that great at comforting people, um..."
If I didn't know better, I'd say Fabian is actually trying to be nice for once? Never took him for a nice person though.
I turn back around to face him, sniffling and wiping my eyes with my sleeve. "I'm not crying."
"Okay." Fabian holds his hands up in defense, smiling softly. "You aren't crying."
"I...I can't. I c-c-c-can't cry, I-I-I-I-"
That's when I break down. No longer able to speak, all that comes out of my mouth are sobs. I briefly register Fabian putting his arms around me and hugging me, and that's when I really fall apart. I sob into his chest, clutching at his shirt as sobs tear out of my throat one after the other. Fabian doesn't say anything, he just holds me tightly as I cry. He smells like pine trees and sweat. It's oddly comforting.
"I don't know what to do," I murmur into his shirt after I've calmed down a bit.
"Neither do I," he whispers. "But that's okay."
I pull back slightly to look at him. "I feel like I'm going crazy."
"Yeah?" Fabian smirks at me, tilting my chin up slightly. "Then why does something tell me that at the end of all this, you're gonna be the last one standing?"
"You really think so?"
He nods. "I know."
"How?"
"Just a feeling I get."
Maybe Fabian isn't really a bad guy after all. He seems so...nice all of a sudden. And I never stopped to notice how good-looking he is. His eyes are so beautiful and green. His face isn't bad looking at all. He's got really sharp features and the curve of his bottom lip just looks so perfect. Before I know what I'm doing, suddenly I'm kissing him, pressing my mouth to his with a need I've never felt before. He doesn't respond right away, and I can feel the surprise, but only a second later, he's kissing back.
His mouth is surprisingly really soft. I never expected them to feel like this. Fabian's actually not a bad kisser. His stubble gently scratches my cheek, but I don't mind. All I want to feel is this, his lips on mine and nothing else. I desperately need to feel something else besides the pain inside of me, the emptiness.
"Carol," he breathes, breaking his lips away from mine. Refusing to let him speak, I smash my lips back on his, kissing him with more vigor. I part my lips and breathe into him, pulling him closer to me.
"Carol...Carol, stop," Fabian whispers, sounding like he didn't want me to stop. He shows barely any resistance, and he kisses back just as eagerly. However, he keeps trying to push me away from him, his hands on my shoulders.
"Stop..." he murmurs against my lips. I kiss him again, slowly but deeply and cut his words off.
"Carol, stop dammit, I'm too old for you," he says, voice firm yet husky. Fabian tears away from me, though appearing a bit reluctant. Breathing a bit heavy, he holds me at arms' length, his green eyes dark and glaring. "What are you doing?"
Breathing out a shaky breath, I gulp, raising a hand to my lips. "I...I don't know, I..."
"Don't. Do that again," he says sternly. "Do you hear me?"
"I'm sorry," I blurt out. "I don't know what I was thinking."
"Yeah, me neither," he quips, running a hand through his hair. Did I seriously just kiss Fabian? What on Earth possessed me to do that?
"Come on. We gotta go." Fabian turns to leave like nothing ever happened. Feeling sheepish, I follow shortly after him.
It's afternoon, and the sun is high in the sky. The snow has melted some, leaving puddles of slush in some places. Is it still February? I have no idea what day it is. Fabian and I have continued our search for medicine, but no luck. We haven't come across anymore houses since the other one. It's been about an hour since I...kissed him. He hasn't spoken a word since. We trudge through the woods on our way back to camp, and Fabian stops to rest on a fallen log. I sit too, sitting as far away from him as possible. Fabian takes a swig of something from a flask he pulled out of his jacket. Then he offers it to me silently and I stare at it uncertainly.
"It's only water," he says, noticing my hesitance. I take it carefully, avoiding his fingers. I take a few small sips and then quickly hand it back, avoiding eye contact.
"Why did you kiss me?" Fabian blurts out unexpectedly. I gulp nervously at his question, suddenly squeamish.
"I don't know," I mumble with a shrug.
He sighs heavily. "Look, Carol. You're a very attractive young woman. But you can't do that again."
Irritated, I glare at him. "Really? Then why did you kiss back, huh?"
He's silent for a minute. Then he says, staring down at the ground, "I didn't."
At that, I stand up abruptly. "Yes you did! I felt it."
"Does it matter?" Fabian snaps. "It's not going to happen again. I'm too old for you."
"Well...how old are you?" I'm actually kind of curious. I've never thought about his or Neil's age.
"I'm twenty-five," he replies.
"Oh." Now I just feel even more embarrassed. Yikes, he's seven years older than me.
"Let's just forget it happened," he says, standing up.
"Fine by me," I grumble. Irritated, I brush past him and stomp ahead. "Can we get back to camp already?"
"No Carol, wait a second!" he exclaims in alarm, but it's too late. There must have been some kind of booby trap set because the next thing I know, I'm hanging upside down by a rope that's coiled tightly around my left ankle. The one I sprained.
"Aaah!" I scream, flailing wildly in the air. "What the-?"
Fabian stands below me on the ground. "Just stay calm, alright? I'm gonna get you down."
I feel the blood rush to my head. Fabian takes a few careful steps, but obviously they aren't careful enough because seconds later he's joined me, hanging by a rope of his own.
"Goddammit," Fabian curses.
"Looks like we've got something!" a man's voice shouts. Strange men slink out of the bushes around us. I try to get a good look at them, but it's hard to see anything clearly when you're hanging upside down. One of them cat calls.
"Well, look at what we have here, fellas," someone says. Laughter rings out.
"Crap," I mumble to myself. Who are these goons?
"A pretty little girl...and a funky looking weasel," the man says. "Comfortable up there?"
"Does it look like we're comfortable, you asshole?" I spit through gritted teeth.
"Carol, be quiet," Fabian hisses at me. My retort is followed by more laughter and a bunch of oohs.
"Our little girly here has a mouth on her." A strange man steps in front of my face. It's hard to tell his features while upside down, but he has brown hair and a beard. "What else you got? I see you've got a nice ass."
"Hey, shut up," Fabian snaps, voice deep and angry. It scares me a little bit because I've never heard him sound like that before.
The man walks up to Fabian, getting all up in his face. "What did you just say to me, weasel?"
"Get away from me." Fabian spits in his face, his green eyes fierce. Clearly not amused, the man disgustedly wipes the spit off his cheek, frowning.
"I think I need to teach our little weasel friend a lesson. What you think, fellas?" he calls out to his crew. The crowd responds with raucous shouts of agreement and fist pumps.
Nodding at his crew, he smirks and throws a punch right into Fabian's gut.
"Urghh..." Fabian groans. Then he punches him in the face. Blood spurts from his nose and he coughs and spits. The man's onslaught continues, hitting Fabian over and over again in his stomach and face, pummeling him all over his body. His men cheer him on, hollering and carrying on. This makes me sick. Only a coward attacks a man while he's down. Finally, after several agonizing moments, he stops.
"I think you've had enough. Cut 'em down, men," he orders.
"What do you want us to do with them?" one of his men asks.
"Kill the weasel. Do whatever you want with the girl," he says with a grin, staring straight at me with a freakish expression. What kind of people are they? I have the feeling that these guys don't just want to shake my hand. The men cut us down and I land flat on my back. My head spins for a second, and then I can finally see the world right side up. A man stares down at me. I glare at him.
"Get away from her!" Fabian shouts, and then goes into a coughing fit. Sitting up, I immediately rush to his side. He spits blood onto the ground, red staining his white teeth as he grits them.
"Are you okay?" His face is heavily bruised and his bottom lip is bleeding quite a bit.
"Fine," he rumbles, holding his side. "Are you alright?"
"Don't worry about me, you're the one who's in bad shape."
"Hey there, little girly," a lusty voice says from behind. A hand grabs me roughly by the arm and yanks me away from Fabian. I scream, but he clamps a hand over my mouth. That's when it happens. I barely even blink and suddenly Fabian is gone. He's no longer in front of me like he was just a split second ago. Next thing I know, the man is ripped off of me, and there's shouting. I whip around quickly to see what's going on. Fabian has the man who just grabbed me in a choke hold. He's clawing desperately at Fabian's forearm, uselessly trying to get free. Fabian doesn't relent for a second, and with a grunt of effort, he twists and breaks the man's neck. The snap of the bone rings in my ears for several seconds, and I flinch in stunned silence.
Breathing out heavily, Fabian drops the body to the ground. Sweat trickles down his brow and he wipes the blood off his lip. Two men jump him from behind, grabbing him and pulling him down to the ground. But Fabian won't go down easily. He headbutts one in the face, and then he falls to the ground holding his bleeding nose. Breaking free of their grasp, he roundhouse kicks the second guy in the face. Snatching his gun out of its holster, Fabian points it and shoots the first person in front of him with no hesitation. All of this happens so fast my eyes can barely follow.
The other one he headbutted has recovered, and now he's charging Fabian in a blind rage, his fist raised. Ready for him, Fabian grabs him and slams him down on the ground, flat on his back. Something cracks and the wind rushes out of the man in a horrid gasp. That's when I feel multiple hands grab me from behind, and then I'm being groped all over.
"Get off me!" I scream, struggling as much as I can. "Fabian!"
"Come on darling, we just want to have a little fun," says a man with a missing tooth. He pins me to the ground, getting on top of me. I flail, kneeing him in the groin but that seems to have zero effect. He smiles, a wicked gleam in his eyes. He feels up my thigh, touching my private parts. I hear the click of a gun. Glancing up, I see Fabian standing above me and the man, his gun pointed at the back of the man's head. There's an emotion in Fabian's eyes that I've never seen before. I don't know what it is, but it's dark and cold. I don't think I've ever seen him angry like this.
"Get off her, right now," Fabian says in an angry whisper. It makes me shudder.
"Alright, don't shoot." The man stands up slowly, hands raised. Fabian grabs me by the arm and hoists me up, pulling me close to him. Wordlessly, he shoves me behind him.
"Stay behind me," he tells me firmly. I simply obey, standing behind him. He's still pointing his gun at the toothless man. Everyone's quiet. Then, the ringleader steps in.
"That's enough of this. Put the gun down," says the leader.
Fabian says nothing, just redirects his aim towards him. "How about I kill you instead?"
"Now, wait just a minute. I have another idea." He slowly approaches the two of us with his hands raised.
"You have five seconds to start talking before I put a bullet in your brain," growls Fabian.
"My name is Saul. And you. You're a fantastic fighter. You'd be perfect for my...let's call it a game, shall we?"
"What are you talking about? What game?" Fabian demands.
"Killing you would be a waste," says Saul, shaking his head.
"Tell me what you're talking about, or I'll kill you."
"Here. Have a look." Saul slips a raggedy piece of paper from his back pocket. The edges are frayed and the words are fading slightly. I'm unable to see what it says from over Fabian's shoulder, and I'm too scared to step out further, but I can make out a few words. There's "Arena" and "Fight" and something about zombies. There are odd little pictures too, with silhouettes of what I guess is supposed to be zombies, and a fighting ring.
Fabian's expression is dark, his eyes shadowy and dangerous. "Are you serious?"
Saul smirks, spreading his arms out. "Completely. If you're interested, I'd love to see you come fight. You'd be a sensation to my audience."
Fabian balls the piece of paper up in his fist and throws it to the ground. "Not interested. I'm not gonna be a part of your little show."
"I beg you to reconsider," Saul insists. "The rewards are well worth the risk."
"And what kind of rewards are they? Money? Because money's useless now."
"You clearly haven't been paying attention. Civilization is returning, stranger. The new age is upon us. In that case...the city of Brax welcomes you," he says, smiling as he bows.
"Brax? What's that?" I chime in.
"The new capitol. It's nearby, actually. A few days' trip by car, more if you go on foot. We can take you there..if you want," he offers.
Fabian scowls at him. "No. You could be lying."
"Believe what you want, weasel. But it exists. Please reconsider my offer." Saul bends down and retrieves the balled up piece of paper from the ground. He unwraps it and hands it back to Fabian, who takes it reluctantly. "You're free to bring your girlfriend. I hope to see you there soon."
"Tch. Whatever. No promises."
Wordlessly, Saul turns away and whistles. "Come on, men. Let's head back."
Him and his pack of goons move along, and several moments later they've disappeared completely into the woods. Fabian and I wait in shocked silence for several more minutes just to make sure they don't come back. But nothing happens. It's just silent. Then, Fabian suddenly grabs my arm and pulls me along.
"Let's go. We need to get out of here before they come back. And I think we should relocate our camp." His voice is dire and I can't help but feel a bit more scared about this whole zombie thing than normal. The world has changed so drastically, it's hard for me to believe that it's still the same world.
Back at camp in the R.V., I tend to Neil. He still feels very feverish, and his skin is damp all over. I dab a cool washcloth on his forehead as he lies there, panting heavily. I can hear Fabian and Larry arguing about that place called Brax. Dawn is hovering over me, keeping a close eye on Neil. She looks at me, eyes teary.
"Is he gonna get better?" she asks.
"I think so. Don't worry," I assure her.
"Maybe we should check it out. It doesn't sound completely out there that after all this time, civilization is starting again," says Larry.
"But what if it's a trap?" Fabian points out. "How do we know that he's telling the truth?"
"How do we know that he's not? Sounds a bit extreme to lie about something like that."
"How come we haven't heard of it until now? Seven years, and now suddenly some civilization has sprouted up? It doesn't make any sense to me, Larry," Fabian goes on.
"It's not like the old world where information spread like wildfire," continues the older man. "There's no social media, news, nothing."
"I know how this world works," Fabian spits, sounding very clearly frustrated.
I step back from Neil's sick, writhing form as Dawn perches on the edge. I take a few steps towards where the two men are conversing and put in my two cents.
"I think that we should go," I interrupt.
Both men turn and look at me, Fabian outright scowling at me while Larry nods in agreement.
"Why do you think we should go?" Fabian asks, turning towards me fully, his green eyes dark and penetrating.
"Neil is sick and we can't find any medicine. There might be a doctor in Brax," I suggest.
Fabian scoffs. "Neil's just got a cold, he doesn't need to see a doctor."
"You don't know that! What if it's something serious?"
Fabian steps up to me, suddenly very close and he's towering over my small frame. "How would we even get there, huh? Do you know the way?"
I gulp, lowering my eyes and taking a step back. "No..."
"That's what I thought," he hisses.
"Don't take it out on her Fabian, she's just trying to help," Larry pipes up.
"Uggghhh..." Neil groans from the other room.
"Brax or not Fabian, Neil does need help," Larry says. "We have to do something."
"Uncle Neil looks really red..." Dawn whines.
"What else is on that paper that man gave you?"
Fabian silently pulls it out of his back pocket. He unfolds the crinkled up piece of paper carefully and studies it for several long seconds.
"It's a map," he finally says. "With an address."
"A map to Brax?" Larry asks.
"That's what it looks like."
I walk over and peer over Fabian's shoulder to get a look at the map. It looked pretty complicated from what I could tell, but parts of it were fading. "That looks like a map of the entire state."
"Let me see that." Larry takes it from Fabian's hands. "This is a state map. And look there, Brax is labeled."
"If I'm reading it correctly, then according to the map, we're right about here." Fabian points to a random spot on the map. "He was right. Brax is pretty close."
"Real or not...I think it's worth checking out. Brax is a city, right? Then there must be a doctor or something there where Neil can get treated," says Larry. "I say we go."
Fabian rolls the map back up and sighs. "I don't have a particularly good feeling about this, but...I guess we'll go. If only for Neil's sake."
I want to have hope. I want to believe that this Brax place can be a safe place. I desperately want to believe that there is some kind of civilization in this new, cruel world. But I'm not sure. Something tells me that Brax, no matter how civilized it may sound or appear, that it will be just as cruel and cold.