“You will never be able to experience everything. So, please, do poetical justice to your soul and simply experience yourself.” - Albert Camus
Sometimes the words of another can become kind of like a tunnel or even like a wormhole in which to experience a deeper thought or a cherished memory. Words either transport us to a deeper part of our mind in order to reflect on what resonates with us or words can be transported to our heart in order to recapture a feeling that meant so much to us. Do you ever find yourself pausing while reading a good book or watching a good movie? Something about it might stir a point in your life that calls to you. We often think that life is just linear and that we should only be in the “Now.” Hold that thought.
That might be wise for most days, but if we have a lifetime of memories and experiences, why not make use of them all? I often write about negative memories until they no longer have a hold on me. Journaling or reading a deeply moving book can help us work through what still has a grip on us. Likewise, good memories can channel hope and strength. They give us something to fight for.
“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.”–Anaïs Nin
We are Stars.
Do you ever eat a favorite dessert or play a game and the inner child in you comes alive for that moment? Do you ever rekindle an old dream that patiently waited for you? It makes you want to pursue it once again or dabble in it for a moment just to have fun. Or to reach out to an old friend?
I recently read posts by someone who is near my age and I saw them posting that all is lost. In their mind, they didn’t have the experiences that they desired at particular points in their linear timeline and they mourn the perceived loss of that. That can feel overwhelming.
Why not revisit different points in our lives and do something to honor the memories? Revisit a site or a place of importance. Read a book that you love or watch your favorite movie again. Take time to be silly like a child or studious like a young adult.
Then go out and try something new. Create a new point in your life. No, it won’t replace some path not taken, but it will provide a new path to take. When we get down about what we don’t have, we sometimes close ourselves off from something waiting for us. Looking at things as just linear can lead some people to having a midlife crisis or feeling that they didn’t create all that they wanted. When we see life from different points, whether the past, present or perceived futures, we can circle back around and reconnect to purpose and meaning. Life isn’t just some straight line to a tragic end. It is a dance with all the people, places and ideas that we take part in, and even if people or places no longer exist like we remember, they remain a part of us. Take a moment of gratitude for them and celebrate what they meant to us while being open for moments yet to happen.
Life or people will never be perfect. Let go of that idea. At the same time, don’t beat yourself up for mistakes.
"The cosmos is within us. We are made of star-stuff. We are a way for the universe to know itself." - Carl Sagan
Live in the Now, but when that gets too much or you are feeling lost or alone, take time to re-experience what made life wondrous to you. Rekindle your hopes and dreams for the future. Enjoy the Universe within you and it might even transform how you see the Universe outside of you. Realize that you found your place within it and you bring your own reasons to your existence. Even just to experience a multitude of things. That is great in itself.
Don’t get caught in the “now” to where you think it is all that exists.
I’ve had good jobs and horrible ones. I’ve lived in unsafe apartments, simple trailers, and have also owned several houses now and in the past. If I ever thought that was it and that I was somehow stuck in that “now,” then I couldn’t have gone on to new possibilities. That doesn’t mean that we won’t end up in new bad places or other tough experiences, but “now” doesn’t mean that things won’t change. I really enjoyed my crappy apartment with soot on the walls and a hole in the kitchen floor because it was a block from the ocean, which I couldn’t otherwise have afforded. I loved my cute trailer because it was cheap and easy to maintain, and I could buy whatever my sons needed. And I enjoy where I live now. Attitude has something to do with it. I guess I never had some grand plan for my life, so I didn’t mind the twists and turns. I may have whatever “now” is at the moment, but I had a lot of fun and good times in the past too. And I’m sure there might be some great memories to make for the future. That is my secret for happiness and it might not work for everyone, but we each must make our own. Tell yourself what your story is and what it means for you.
You are a Star and you have a name. Be whoever you are and learn to love it, even against the impossible odds or ups and downs. Then look back and say, “Damn, I lived through all that and I’m still shining.”