"Reality exists only in action. It ventures even further than that, since it adds: 'Man is nothing other than his own project. He exists only to the extent that he realizes himself, therefore he is nothing more than the sum of his actions, nothing more than his life.' In view of this, we can clearly understand why our doctrine horrifies many people.... There is no genius other than that which is expressed in works of art; the genius of Proust resides in the totality of his works; the genius of Racine is found in the series of his tragedies, outside of which there is nothing. Why should we attribute to Racine the ability to write yet another tragedy when that is precisely what he did not do? In life, a man commits himself and draws his own portrait, outside of which there is nothing."–Jean-Paul Sartre, Existentialism Is a Humanism (1946)
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Picasso drawing
You are your own project. Instead of others attempting to make you their project, let your Being unfold into the version that you want to create.
Remember. Life is always impossible. Take time to get to know yourself while you navigate the impossible and who you will be revealed in the process.
"I paint self-portraits because I am so often alone, because I am the person I know best."—Frida Kahlo
γνῶθι σεαυτόν Know Thyself
"Creation takes place in bottlenecks... A creator who isn't grabbed around the throat by a set of impossibilities is no creator. A creator's someone who creates their own impossibilities, and thereby creates possibilities... it's by banging your head on the wall that you find a way through. You have to work on the wall, because without a set of impossibilities, you won't have the line of flight, the exit that is creation, the power of falsity that is truth. Your writing has to be liquid or gaseous simply because normal perception and opinion are solid, geometric... You have to open up words, break things open, to free earth's vectors."–Gilles Deleuze
Artists and writers teeter on the edge of self-destruction... and genius. As Heidegger says, the artist can end up destroyed to let the art come through (look at any great singer, artist or writer), so we have to walk that tightrope between our obligations to the world and the obligations to ourselves. To be a success isn't being famous or fake for approval. It is seeing who we are for our own understanding and then creating that portrait of our Being, which will reflect back to us all that we are manifesting, whether consciously or not. The sum of our works and the sum of our deeds will create our image; not any filter or painted picture. It is in the depths in which our Being swims and will then be projected out into our everyday life. Have a hand in its production until the final curtain call. What do we have to lose?
"All you have to do is be yourself, do your will, and rejoice."—Aleister Crowley.
If you aren't happy, it is never too late to add to the picture. By adding your personal touches, you truly come alive, and we might as well be alive before we die. Shouldn't we? Are you afraid that people will judge you? Of course, they will. There will always be unhappy people who will attack anyone who does what they are too scared to do or who are jealous that someone is living their true self, when they can't. So just do it. Don't let anyone step on your happiness. Some of your own happiness might even rub off on those who are scared to build their own joy, so you might even be helping by letting someone briefly bask in yours as a momentary shelter from their own darkness.
What can you do, even if you aren't sure where to start? Why not dress how you always wanted? Wear that vintage coat! Add some vibrant colors or wear all black! Go out into the world and carve your mark. After all, your life is there for you to make it as you desire....Do not let fear or doubt stand in your way. This is your time to see what you are made of and what you'd like to leave behind.
"The doctrine you desire, absolute, perfect dogma that alone provides wisdom, does not exist. Nor should you long for a perfect doctrine, my friend. Rather, you should long for the perfection of yourself. The deity is within you, not in ideas and books. Truth is lived, not taught."~Herman Hesse, The Glass Bead Game 1943 (one of my friend Iona's favorite books and for good reason).
People quibble over books or practices. No, this is the true one. No, this is correct. No, that is wrong. Read the above quote. Live your truth. No one can teach you that. Let's do it.
"Our task as men is to find the few principles that will calm the infinite anguish of free souls. We must mend what has been torn apart, make justice imaginable again In a world so obviously unjust, give happiness a meaning once more to peoples poisoned by the misery of the century."~Albert Camus , Lyrical and Critical Essays