Trying to write a new book, I pick an image, a title, or a subject. Then I stare at the blankness and wait for the words to start moving. If nothing happens, I'll write a few paragraphs just to see if I can reach inspiration in order to keep going. If not, I put it aside. Sometimes I try again; sometimes I don't. As for this latest book, it has been difficult. I'm not sure why. It sat for years, abandoned. I wasn't sure if I'd ever return to it.
I think about Crowley's "The Utterance of the Pythoness. Liber MCXXXIX." Was it ever written, absorbed by another Liber, or simply vanished over time?
Perhaps my book would have had the same fate. A ghost of a book, holding its own secrets, and people might have wondered about it. No, it wouldn't be as important as his book. But, alas, I'm going to write my own. It might have something to tell me....
When I was writing my book Care Frater, I wrote the below, though I changed it some. I had some fun with the idea and liked to wonder what it might be like to be a pythoness. This is what I wrote:
"But what about Crowley's book? The book that was never written; no Utterance for a Pythoness, yet we are awaiting down below or in between. All alone. Hear me! Have you forgotten Us? Thick shadows can't drown out this sorrow, about all the dreams that are dying, and destiny threatens to become nothing if we don't keep going. We have to try.
A Voice arises from the crack in the ground. It says, "The Time has come. You, with the lioness hair, why do you not hear me? I see you dance your serpentine dance from side to side. I know you hear my frequency. Come closer, where I'm waiting. The ground is cracking open, but don't let the toxic fumes rob you of precious breath."
Dizzy, I bend down, hoping to reach the messenger, who says, "Speak. Be as a door from one world to another. Shout. Your voice needs to travel over time to those who it is meant for."
I wonder who.
The voice continues, "Can you find the words or are they doomed to be drowned out? Don't use your ears. Let me in. Let energy form from within and without, and then marry first at your base, next burn bright in your heart, and then utter your vision with vibrations to give shape to what will become.
If others close their ears, speak louder. If they threaten to choke or slash your throat, speak through your thoughts, your action, your writing. Fear not those who hate you. Even in your silence, you will be heard even louder. Make it matter."
Other Beings wonder, "What will she utter? Is she scared of what she might see or hear? Or only afraid of those who wish her to be chained and kept silent? Hiss at them. Let others fear in their ignorance. Speak for those who cannot speak. Speak for the forgotten. Speak for what has been waiting to flow out of you at this moment in order to touch the world. And maybe, just maybe, it will touch you and come full circle."
Utter, because you never know who will hear you. Speak. Boil over and be heard! Make use of your words.