Dreama’s Diary–December 20
I pretended I was coming back from the coat room. I had already seen him coming. I tried to conceal my aching lust and I smiled. He seemed surprised to see me and asked if I was just getting off from work. I nodded and tried to force the conversation. Did I bother him? I wasn’t sure. Don’t fail me, Stefan. Don’t close the door between us and leave me there.
He asked if I needed baby formula. I did; I was desperate for it. I agonized for a moment as to what answer I should give him. Of course, I needed it, but it belittled me so much to need it, yet I painfully nodded.
“Come out to my car and I’ll give you some.”
Those words brought me joy as if they tickled my insides. I felt giddy. I had long fantasized about going out to his car. I followed him outside, though why did he have to park directly in front of the restaurant’s windows? Why couldn’t we have some privacy? Now there was no chance of an indiscretion. I know I should have been glad. Something is trying to keep me from making a mistake.
As he opened the trunk and took out a box, I stared at him as he filled my arms with it instead of him. I wanted him! I searched his eyes for some glint to let me know how to proceed. Should I simply thank him and go home, or throw myself at him? I did neither. I stood there, so he handed me another box. Maybe he didn’t know what to do either.
“Are you ready for the holidays?” he asked.
Okay, he is speaking. That is a clue for you, brain, to start working. I couldn’t think. I took a deep breath and said that I was ready and then inquired about him. Meanwhile, I stirred nervously. Then he gave me a look, the one that burned through my eye sockets and straight to my core. It spoke of desire. I recognized it and grinned. It was like I received a silent confirmation that I needed. So now, what did I do? I thanked him for the formula and stumbled back inside, because I was too nervous to do anything else. The boxes were starting to hurt my arms. My legs trembled. This was not how I pictured such an opportune moment. Damn!