Chapter 13

Love Desperate -The Intruder-

Love Desperate

-The Intruder-

Unexpected

Involved we were through every day

seemed, except for touch,

we grew close in every way

Each day a thrill, more love to spill

became alive more in every say

of “I love you more each day.”

Then, I confused, as come one day

surprising words for her to say

If you can’t help me, you don’t love me in any way.”

There were unexpected words

they hurt me to the core, I was broke,

her words to choke, threat of going away

And love to be shattered

important, this new love matters

so borrow I did to play

Thoughtless of a changing hand

the words she typed away

setting troubles stage

Disparate Phrases

Day on day, between loving’s say

came phrases that did not fit

with attitudes and caring

that had come before, well with me set

Every time I to think we rhyme

she would be pulling well away

asking for more, my heavy chore

to keep her won those days

As days and weeks to pass

with speed, her expressing greater need

as I to struggle to keep up

fast planting income seed

Just to stay up with her

and keeping her indeed

and the song grew sour

by day and by hour

As it seemed I could not win

soon to be not enough, a sin,

to keep her there with me

love to leak away too free

Again my heart is breaking

returned to lonely be

as torn apart our loving hearts

never again to be

Her words had turned to mazes

what she said as phrases

left my heart sure wanting

my joy clear losing pleasing

In Talking

In those days where once was laughter

it seems as though there’d been disaster

as in times truly mattered, love seemed gone

along with laughter

As joy to go from conversation

little of worth for in-poem mention

regarding how we each to strive

to keep our love fast, alive

As sure was mood to dwindle

circling drain like on spindle

as what remained not clear

as removed, were fewer times of cheer

Dwindling, dwindling, still wish to hold her near

her heart to mine, beating in time

hopeful this time, a better align

her again to find

Changes, Harsh

Following days, one on one

there were clouds to block the Sun

where the love in my heart obscured some

her withering words to slay our fun

As each day, a growing some

came words of doubt, “You’re lying son!”

not words to hear from loved-someone

but then and there, where love was won

Down my mood to daily fall

wherever her to beck or call

to have me near, her leaving feared

and, Yes, me unhappy, face teared

And I to wonder what I had done

to poison the waters of our fun

as I dig down to make a change

to return her mood to better fame

Harsh the dreams that nightly came

as soured the love that did remain

while in moments I wish for gain

her love restored, once again

Enticements

And through this weary and troubled time

me doing best to keep her mine

We would chat and try to re-align

with the changes, her chat and mine

At first it was not clear to see

she was not the woman meant for me

Slow I was to even see

the trouble that had come to me

And when I ask of changing ways

she pretends to cry, and turn away

From what had been before this day

a happy heart, glad to play

And then, another change of way

images erotic to make me stay

When in my turn, I turn from my way

not willing to hurt game play

With this enticement to come my way

I fell in, was want to stay

As on trouble went, her demanding ways

to bleed from me all wealth and way

Means entangled, heart to bleed

and me to try to fill her special needs

Lonely Days

Lonely days and absent ways

in our chat, as stays away

the women I want, for whom I prayed

to chill out on absent days

Days meant to have me fear

that I would never have her near

to touch and hold, at each appear

this to bring on lonely tear

As on it goes, as mystery builds

and I to have days sadness filled

not understanding what befell

how our chatting went to hell

Me to be sadder at chat’s end

than when start at each day’s begin

as I to cling to hope of good

to come from loving her as should

Mystery’s Phrase

Words of love, but sometimes bitter

phrases to exact a toll

not conducive to our goal

of walking hand in hand

on the beach’s warming sands

Some words are want to play

others to cut and even flay

my heart clearly to its core

seems her love has changed

down deep and ever more

Such that if I do not give

all there is, lest I should not live

if there is not enough to give

and I, to struggle to survive

heart and form must stay alive

To fill her needs

no words of mine

able well of any kind

where once love was its seed

there is now much disagreed

Her words to become

a Mystery

word by word as phrases

to change our ways and places

as if with different faces

Can We

Turn back, can we

to the love we shared, handy

but weeks before

the changes we explore

Where the love was felt

Is it gone, did it melt?”

my heart to ask, but me not say

as come the discord in the day

I do not know what has changed,

what of our love does still remain.”

Sad, soulful, broken at times

it’s even hard to write these lines

How can you have changed so much,

so short a time, in hurried rush,

how could you?”

my heart is breaking, sadness making

Love still Rests Within

Now I wonder what went wrong

what I’ve done to kill our song

as the tune no longer plays

with the joy of word and phrase

For months and months there was good play

our conversation lilting swing and sway

there were no arguments in a day

nothing to push the other away

From the heart that learned to sing

to have their vibration sound a ring

as if the bell that rings about the church

to toll the living of Heaven and Earth

But, now, these days, come sour phrase

that asks more than loving praise

that fills each heart each welcome day

wanted togetherness in every way

And though the words come in a mess

and bring with them much distress

within my heart as love still rests

even though hers seems growing less

And so I try in every way

to bring her back, to swing my way

as the pendulum which swung away

remember please, I am here to stay

What Given, What Promised

In conversations, as we grew close

many word spoken deserved a toast

because they brought us quickly close

determined to arrive touching

nose and toes

She asked of me share my history

for her my life was naught but a mystery

and so I spoke of what had been

where there were troubles, where sins

this came easy, for her a win

As give I did, as time went on

as she to give me similar songs

of her life as went along

and each forgive, or have no need

as each to accept, no judgment need

Then came the words each long to hear

word of expression, each so dear

Love in context did in time appear

stating growing fact, we each needed

to set in place for greater cheer

Her to promise herself to me

I to lose myself, did agree

to her promised I would ever be

that man she claimed a need to see

up close and touching free

Even though at this time be

far and away across the sea

that’s the place I long to be

just as she, longing to be

by my side, to become lonely free

Thinking Well

Blind to the world that onto me fell

I did not see what came as fell

but only a shift away from swell

Where a change in heart

and one in mind

seemed to have left me behind

And I incline to stay my course

holding to love, a need perforce

to keep my heart alive

And so

I found small ways of giving aid

taking loans were hard be paid

hoping to hold her hand one day

I did not see there writing clear

this not the person I held dear

just an interloper to be feared

As life style began degrade

the scene before me onward played

all attempted, love’s departure delayed

This, the Darker Side of Love

Love, a need that all to feel

responding then to false or real

With life a searching on this trail

be one strong or weeping frail

At love’s alter most will kneel

tip life’s boat off even keel

To change the very way we walk

the words we say, and how we talk

And when the twist for dire outcomes

arrives to taint valued love’s sums

Deceived one is or will become

to give way to troubled one

Their whole heart and half a lung

as them upon a pendulum swung

And used, one’s love become tainted

when sure it would be better Sainted

Tricked into a hurtful mist

one to undo all elements of bliss

Off to cast would be the better line

as one to let go love’s bitter kind

And best would be off to shove

This, the darker side of love

No abuse is ever love

affection’s crime, the dying dove

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