SILENT DEPTHS OF A SHATTERED STORM
The apology carved scars anew, unseen,
Voices judge, but they've never been.
My mind, a war-torn, trembling sea,
Each wound whispers, "Remember me."
Rape stole the mirrors of my soul,
Yet tongues wag, unknowing of the whole.
Before you speak, feel chains I've worn,
Silence weighs heavier than your scorn.
THE WEIGHT OF SILENCE
Sometimes I wear the quiet's weight,
A thousand scars I hesitate.
The world, it speaks, it shouts, it jeers,
Not knowing the battles, the buried years.
An apology comes, its edges sharp,
Plucking chords of a fractured harp.
The words they gave were far too late,
Each syllable steeped in a heavy fate.
I wish they'd pause, just close their eyes,
To see the pain behind my cries.
Before casting stones, sparking fire's breath,
Know mine is a tale of stolen depth.
So judge me not with fleeting aim,
My soul bears echoes not defined by shame.
THE WEIGHT OF WORDS
You said the words, a brief repair,
But they reopened wounds I couldn't bear.
Though years have passed, the scars remain,
Your sorry met my endless pain.
You judge the surface, not the sea,
Do you not see the depths of me?
Each lash of blame still cuts me deep,
A fire burns where I should sleep.
Before you speak, before you bite,
Consider battles fought by night.
This body broke, this mind was torn,
Rebuilt from shards that left me worn.
So hold your tongue before it flies,
Behind my eyes, a storm still cries.
SHADOWS THAT SPEAK TOO LATE
An echo broke the silent air,
A word I'd craved, but didn't dare.
Apology wrapped in its brittle shell,
Too late to mend, too raw to tell.
Years of scars they'll never see,
A hollow core, what's left of me.
Their whispered judgments cut so deep,
My nights are void, I cannot sleep.
You didn't ask, you couldn't know,
The jagged path, the undertow.
Before you speak, before you blame,
Learn the weight of someone's shame.
The truth's a wound I'll always wear,
But still, they judge; they never care.
THE WEIGHT OF TRUTH
I carry this burden, silent and slow,
Through shadows where no one dares to go.
A voice in my chest, it screams, it spills,
Yet judgement bites, and venom fills.
An apology came, too little, too late,
A salve on wounds that still berate.
They speak as if the scars aren't real,
As if my grief's not theirs to feel.
Do they know the storms inside my head?
The nights I wished I'd joined the dead?
Before you cast your stones, be sure,
To learn the truths I must endure.
Your words can cut, your gaze can sting,
But I've survived what monsters bring.
FRAGMENTS OF A LIFE I CAN'T FIX
It feels like every time I climb, every breath
I take on a good day, there's a pull—two,
three cracks in the foundation, breaking open
old wounds that never healed right.
Some days, not so bad. Some days, I wish
I hadn't made it this far, hadn't held onto
the hurt that eats me from the inside out.
I smile to keep them from seeing me break.
But all I ever wanted was a kind of warmth,
a family that stayed whole, a love that
didn't come with bruises or scars. No pain
exploded from shadows, no weight crushing me.
Instead, I have this—all this fire I keep
fighting, for the ones I love, for the ones
who still say they love me back. It's hard,
it's so damn hard, and I'm so tired of falling.
I've never known how to ask for help.
No one taught me how to shape these
feelings into something real. It only lingers,
sharp, twisting, heavier than I'll ever admit.
I just wanted to matter, to be safe,
to feel that I wasn't an accident. Rarely do
I feel like the people I hold up really see me,
and the messed-up truth—maybe they never will.
A WANT FOR SOMETHING STEADY
It seems like every time I move forward,
something grabs my ankles, drags me back.
One day feels light, easy; the next,
I'm full of knots, choking on the weight.
Some mornings, I look at the mirror, ask,
"Who are you even fooling?" Smiles don't fit
right, like trying to wear new shoes
before your feet grow to match them.
I tell myself to hold on, to fight,
but each hit leaves bruises I can't
show—not on my skin, but places deeper,
where an ache just grows and grows.
All I ever wanted was simple, just love
that feels real, that doesn't leave me aching,
Mom and Dad in a world without shouts,
without slamming doors, without that man.
I don't know how to say what's in me
without cracking open too wide. What if I
bleed too much? What if they walk away?
Some days, I wish I didn't have to feel.
I'm so tired, though—of hurting quiet,
of burying things where no one will find them.
Would it be crazy to want peace, home,
a place where I can finally breathe and stay?
LOST IN SADNESS, NOT MADNESS
You may not believe nor do you want to see my heart is broken but yet I don't blame you for not believing what I say , now that you're nowhere to be
near I feel like I'm not one who wants to stand here in fear I try to apologize but it'll never be any way I can have back the one I loved all day I tried to
love someone but I was not able to love myself I was a monster to someone who I said I cared the most you know that weight that lives on my back it's
heavier than you'll ever understand on that track now I ride a roller coaster of shame and when I get down and depressed I feel really lame I feel so
down and so depressed that I never know what is the rest because all I think about is how I cared and when I said it I was never near I know that my
drinking was a problem and was so what I cannot take it back but I learned a lot of valuable things and for that it makes it worth the wait of misery that
I carry on my back from there I go and I say today I wish I could show you that I'm sorry and every which way I still truly feel the love I said but don't
hate me for what that little boy could not have had he was scared little kid who was raped and confused only abused and never amused he tried to
say he needed help with no one cared in the whole outcome was he did have one who cared and sometimes when you care too much to not see what
is being done around you you're not able to see that when people do their best is not always easy especially when you're scared for what you don't
want to be humiliated leave over I never wanted anyone to know I was raped and traumatized it doesn't excuse what I did or wrong , so as I own up for
what I've done wrong I never seen to know how to sing that song the one we used to love together and sing really loud now I hear it only just the
sound I sometimes cry and I scream and I hold myself tight begging and hoping that one day again I might be able to hold hand of the only woman I
ever loved feeling wrong for how I did what I say I was never do was hurt you ....
I really don't think I'll ever love another woman the same so don't ever think when you used to ask me you don't love me do you really I might not have
showed it in the best ways I love you more than you'll ever understand and the look I gave lost in your eyes from the beauty an happiness ..