Obadiah stood by the empty throne, rehearsing the words that would turn a shortage of builders into a triumph of fiscal prudence. The air in the great hall was still, but to him, it was thick with ghosts. He had survived Jeroboam’s line, survived Baasha, and survived the great Omri himself. But Omri’s son Ahab was a different sort of king. Survival now felt less like a skill and more like a dwindling commodity. He ran a hand over his brow, so consumed by the past that he failed to notice the change in the present.
“Obadiah!” screamed Ahab. “Are you daydreaming?”
Obadiah had been so caught up in his reminiscences that he had not noticed the king enter the room and sit on the throne. He fell prostrate to the floor, burying his nose against the cold marble slab.
“Please forgive me, my king. My mind was elsewhere. I was up until the third hour reviewing the load calculations for your priests’ quarters. The eastern wall requires additional buttressing, and the numbers have been occupying me since yesterday.” He lied.
“How could you not see me enter?” Ahab sneered. “Just how old are you, anyway?”
Obadiah kept his face to the floor. “I am fifty-six, my lord.”
Ahab’s eyes grew wide, and he laughed. “How is it that you have managed to stay in your position, much less live for so long?”
“Had your father never spoken of me?”
“My father never spoke to me about anything,” said Ahab with a vinegary growl.
“I am sorry, my king. I am sure that his neglect of you was only because he was so concerned with Israel and her welfare. He always spoke of you very highly to me.”
Ahab roared with laughter. “Get up, old fool. Now I know how you have managed to survive for so long.”
Obadiah rose to his feet as Ahab looked around the room at his various advisors.
“Have any of you ever seen an ass kissed with such artful skill?”
Ahab put his hands together in mock applause. “Encore, maestro!” The king turned and lifted his robe, exposing his naked backside. “Once more, with feeling.”
Ahab watched as Obadiah went very still, the way a man does when he has learned that stillness is safer than anything else. He dropped his robes and stepped down from his throne, walking over to where Obadiah stood. Leaning in very close, he locked eyes with Obadiah and whispered.
“Truth is, old fool, I hated my father, and he hated me. It was the only area where we ever agreed.”
Ahab’s breath reeked of his rotting teeth, and Obadiah winced as he fought the urge to gag. He thanked God when Ahab turned from him to speak to Rabah, Baal’s chief priest.
“How is our call for young men and women proceeding? Have the people been cooperating?”
Rabah shook his head. “We are well short of what we need for the ritual, Lord.”
Ahab turned his attention back to Obadiah. “What should I do with these disobedient people, eh?”
“I do not think they mean any disrespect, sire. It is planting time, and the people need these young ones to plant the crops. I am sure they will arrive as the season permits.”
“But the cycle of the moon approaches, and the ritual must be performed that day!” interrupted Rabah.
“And so it shall, Priest!” Ahab turned to Memnon, commander of his armies. “Send out patrols to all corners of the kingdom and bring back as many people as the ritual requires, by force if necessary.” Memnon gave a sharp, single nod, his face unreadable. “These stubborn people will learn that I am not as weak as my father,” Ahab added, his gaze sweeping the room.
Ahab turned, walked back to his throne, and sat down as his eyes returned to Obadiah.
“After all, what is more important: their king’s commands or a silly planting, eh?”
Ahab’s eyes narrowed, and he glared at Obadiah. “As for you, old man, you have amused me today. However, if there are any other moments of senility in the future, I will sacrifice you to Baal. Now, what is the palace report for today?”
Obadiah nervously cleared his throat and began. “My king, I have good news about the construction of the priests’ barracks. After reviewing the initial phase, I’ve streamlined the process, and we can proceed with a smaller, more efficient crew, resulting in considerable savings for the treasury.”