Later that day in class, I don't dare look at Jake. Not that it matters since he isn't making any attempts either. Both of us review our presentation in the minutes before class begins and then when it is time for us to present, we manage to do so successfully. The class even gives us a round of applause.
My eyes fall on Tony, chair slightly tipped back. The only one not applauding. His eyebrows lift and he wags his finger. I can practically hear his voice in my head saying, "You've been very wicked, haven't you?"
"Fantastic and well-researched!" Mr. Kores claps eagerly. "But then I suppose we can only expect the best from the world's leading neurologic scientist's daughter."
Inwardly, I cringe as I close out our program from the school network. Why did Mr. Kores have to go say that? What if Jake puts the pieces together? I dare a glance over at Jake. His forehead is scrunched in concentration as he gathers up his notes.
"Wait," he says as we return to our seats. "Let me get this straight. Your dad is Dustin Hale as in founder and president of MaxLife?"
Not cool. "You've heard of it?" My voice quivers like a traitor.
"Yeah, um." He pauses which only makes my stomach twist more. "I came across it in our research last night."
I try to steer the conversation into safe territory. "I think we completely nailed the project."
"Mr. Kores seemed happy."
The next group begins their talk, and we grow silent again. He doesn't look at me now, so I trace my fingers over the edges of my tablet and bite my inner lip. The memories of what happened between us only hours ago weigh on me.
Maybe I should tell him the truth. Get it out in the open. No, that's a bad idea. It's best to pretend nothing happened. I peek over at Jake, thinking that if we hung out more he would eventually put two and two together. The guy was smart. Okay, so he's probably brilliant, which is beyond sexy.
I clench my fists. Stop that! I tell myself. What is my problem?
A message pops up on my phone.
Tony: It was him, wasn't it?
Tony again: How long have you known?
Guilt tugs at my chest. I don't respond back.
Tony: We need to talk.
Tony Chery and I met when we got paired up for a science project and literally blew up half of the science lab. It probably was my fault since I poured the sulfuric acid into the mixture too soon, but seeing the impact of what we could do with a few liquids transformed me. He had recently emigrated with his mom and younger brother from Haiti and he didn't have many friends yet.
But that day at lunch, we made a pact. I'll never forget sitting off in the corner of the cafeteria since we not only smelled like rotten eggs, but our clothes were half-charred. The two of us were going to be the world's next revolutionary scientists. Sure, we may have nearly destroyed the science lab and were assigned detention, but we both knew we weren't like our classmates. Since then we've been inseparable, and in all of those years, we've never kept a secret from each other.
So when I meet Tony for lunch at our usual round table by the window overlooking the science club's garden, there's an awkwardness between us. I can't think of a time when I have kept something from him, much less something this major.
He stares hard at me, but I avoid eye contact and instead watch a group of eleventh graders who named themselves Goddesses on Their Knees, weeding the area and harvesting some herbs.
"I see the Hi-Hoe, Hi-Hoe club is working again," Tony breaks the strained silence before taking a bite of pizza.
I roll my eyes. "That's not their name."
"It's a way better name than Goddesses on Elbows or whatever they call themselves. Then they could sing as they worked and give themselves names that represented their personalities."
"You are out of control."
"How long have you known?" Tony says so suddenly I nearly choke on my cherry tomato. But Tony is like that. Gets right to the point, no messing around.
"Since Wednesday morning during the first dream session." I stab my fork into my salad, but I don't have the heart to take a bite. "I wasn't sure though. Still not sure, I guess. It's not like he's actually come out and said it."
"Did you report it? Tell your dad?"
"No. Not after we came so close to entering the Vault on Wednesday. But then today—"
"That's why you willingly faded." Tony points the end of his pizza at me. "Because he was going to kiss you. And you were going to kiss him back."
I open my mouth to refute his claim, but no words come out. I really wanted to kiss him, didn't I. Oh god. I hang my head. This is so bad.
"If you don't tell someone, I will. It's part of our contract. Aria, you've got to think this through. Maybe the only reason you got so close to the Vault is that you knew him. Withholding information messes with our research."
"I never had a full conversation with him in my life until Mr. Kores put us together for the same project this week."
"My bet is he's been crushing on you for a long time. He probably digs girls with red hair or maybe nerds obsessed with their careers."
I glare at him. He laughs.
"Whatever. You've got to admit that dream was out of control. You've got to tell your dad."
"What do you know about Jake?"
"Other than he won that national programming competition last year? Not much. Rumor has it that if you need some hacking done, he's your man. But that could just be people talking. Go ahead and ask him yourself. He's headed our way."
Sure enough, the devil himself strides over to our table. Jake's holding a Coke can and hot dog. Tony looks pointedly at the hot dog. I scowl.
"Hey," I say. "Um, do you know my friend, Tony?"
"What's up, man?" Tony moves to fist-pump Jake who awkwardly returns the punch with his Coke can. "I'm in your psycho class, too. I sit in the back so I can sneak M&M's when Kores isn't looking."
"Right." Jake shifts self-consciously, tapping his can against his thigh. "So I stopped by Mr. Kores's room before lunch. He said we both got an A-plus. Thought you'd want to know."
"Great." I fidget in my chair. "Um, thanks for telling me."
"No problem." He turns to walk away, but pauses and asks me, "You busy tonight?"
"Now there's a question." Tony leans back in his chair and crosses his arms, looking way too smug for his own good.
"I can't." I don't look at Jake. "Have to work tonight."
"Of course." Jake backs away. "Some other time maybe."
I don't say anything, only watch him stride away.
"I don't like this, Ari." Tony shakes his head.
"I'll tell Dad tonight. I promise."
Tony takes a big gulp of his Power Aid and slams the empty bottle on the table. "Hmm...we'll see, won't we? Gotta jet to my last class. See you around, Air Girl."
I nod miserably. For the first time ever, I'm dreading going to work.
After school, I stop by Publix and pick out a bouquet of flowers before heading to the memory care unit of Cedar Pines. Grams' room is down the hall on the right. When I come to her door, I knock. She does better without surprises.
"Come in," Grams' voice calls out. I suck in a deep breath to prepare myself. Even her voice sounds weak and wobbly today.
"Grams!" I say brightly as I enter. "How are you doing?"
"Well, I'm just fine, thank you," she says.
She's sitting in front of the TV, remote in her hand. A stream of light spills in from the slatted blinds, creating a glow over her figure. Today she's wearing a plaid skirt and a flowered shirt. Her graying hair is curled neatly about her head. The center's hairstylist always does such a great job.
I turn off the TV and pull up a chair to join her, kissing her on the cheek and switching the remote for the flowers.
"Are you from the church?" Grams lifts up the flowers and smells them. "Oh, lilies. They're my favorite. Oh, wait. You're one of the new nurses, aren't you?"
"I'm Aria, your granddaughter," I tell her gently. "I thought you would enjoy the lilies. Studies indicate smell helps memory recall."
"Yes, well." Grams' brows knit in worry. "Thank you, my dear. But I'm afraid you must have gotten me mixed up with someone else."
I take her hand and squeeze it. "Here, let me put those flowers in water for you."
The vase is a little short for the lilies so they tilt off to the side, but it will do. I set them on the small end table by her bed, arranging them so the lily heads face Grams.
"There," I say. "Isn't that nice?"
"They are just lovely. Who did you say you were again?"
"Aria." I settle in the chair beside her.
"What a pretty ring. The color matches your eyes."
"Thanks!" I sit straighter. If she noticed the ring, it means the connection she had to it must still be there somewhere in the deep recesses of her mind. "It used to be yours and then you gave it to me. It matches your eyes, too."
She cocks her head and her fingers lightly move to her eyes. When Grams received her diagnosis it spurred Dad into the whole memory loss research. He was certain he could find a way into a person's brain—Grams' brain—to create new connections to lost memories or find a way to record current memories before they become lost.
Hence the birth of MaxLife. For the first year, I couldn't bear the thought of visiting her, seeing that glazed, distant look in her eyes. Feeling the cut of loss when she'd never remembered me.
But lately, it's been different. With every patient, we've made gains in memory recall. There's hope for Grams when before I had been watching her slip deeper into a great void. Everyone at MaxLife was determined that if we could enter the Vault, we could record the person's memories so they could access them in a different way. It would change Grams' life. It would change our family's lives.
"The last few days have been tough," I begin.
"What's the matter, dear?" Grams says. "Here, have some cookies. Chocolate chip. They always make me feel better."
I take a cookie and munch on it. "I did something I wasn't supposed to. Actually, it's more of not what I did, but what I didn't do. Is it just as wrong to withhold the truth as to tell an outright lie?"
"Well, I just don't know. Sounds a bit tricky, doesn't it?"
"It does. And then there's this guy. Jake. He's in one of my classes. We've never said more than a single word to each other before, but then he showed up in one of the dreams that my team went into. I wanted to kiss him."
Grams' eyes widen. "Kiss him? Well. Isn't that something?"
"When I saw him in class today...I don't know. He thinks everything was just a dream because he has no idea I actually entered his dream. If he found out..."
"You look troubled, dear," Grams says. "Here take a cookie. It'll make you feel better."
"Do you think it's wrong what I'm doing?" I take another cookie. "Should I tell him the truth?"
"Are you going to kiss the boy?"
"So you think I should tell him?"
"I'm ready for my medicine, Nurse Nina."
I take the cookies and set them back on her counter. Then I turn the TV back on and hand her the remote.
"It was good talking to you, Grams." I kiss her on the forehead.
She bats me away. "What are you doing, Nurse Nina? Kissing me like that. Where's the manager of this place? You should be reported."
I blow her one more kiss before stepping back into the hall. I lean against the door once it's shut and close my eyes.
The truth is it's easier to live in a dream world than face reality.