We drive almost entirely in silence. The darkness outside becomes a blur of trees, empty stretches of road, and the occasional distant glow of cities and towns. Every so often, Rian checks the mirrors, as though expecting Authority vehicles to appear behind us.
It’s not until several hours pass, after we leave the Outpost, before Rian finally decides to pull off the highway.
I lift my head from the window, as he guides the car into a small roadside rest stop. It’s nearly deserted. A handful of dim lights illuminate the parking area, and an old maintenance building stands beside a row of vending machines. Beyond it is nothing but darkness.
I look around, "Here?"
Rian shuts off the engine. "We need to rest."
I stare at him. He can’t be serious.
"I thought we'd keep going."
"We will," he rubs his eyes, "but we've been driving for hours."
I glance at the empty parking spaces. "You could've stopped at a motel."
"Too risky."
"Why?"
"Because motels keep records. Names. Identification. Payment information." He looks toward the highway. "Even if I used a false identity, there's too much technology involved."
I blow out heavily. Of course! How could I forget? It’s only the thing that is keeping me in danger!
"Right."
Elara's warning echoes in my mind.
Technology leaves traces.
I hate that this has become my life.
A few days ago, I worried about graduating. Now I’m running from the government, hiding the truth about my birth, and trying to figure out whether the people around me could be trusted.
Rian leans back in his seat, "You should get some sleep."
"I'm not tired," I say, looking out the side window.
"I’ll keep watch. You've been awake almost all day."
"So have you."
"I'll sleep later."
I give him a skeptical look. "You're terrible at taking your own advice."
A small smile appears on his face. "Probably."
The smile fades almost immediately and silence returns. I stare through the windshield. I can’t stop thinking about Jax and Elara. They are prisoners somewhere… because of me.
"Do you have a plan?" I finally ask.
Rian glances over, "For Jax and Elara?"
I nod. Hopefully he’s come up with a good one.
"I'm working on one."
Working on one?
"Okay… well, what do you have so far?"
"I'm not sure yet."
That isn't exactly reassuring.
"But I might be able to get inside the facility," he continues to say.
I turn toward him. "How?"
"My father."
My stomach tightens.
Rian continues, "Being his son gives me access other people don't have. If I can get close enough, I might be able to find out where they're being held."
"And get them out?" I ask.
"Maybe," he hesitates. "I could also find out what he's doing."
I search his face with the little bit of light that we have. What he’s saying sounds too good to be true. "Would you?"
"What?"
"Turn against him?"
Rian looks away, "I don't know."
His honesty is a surprise.
"Part of me still wants to defend him," he says, still avoiding to look at me.
"Even after everything Elara told us?"
"He's my father, Felicity!" his voice cracks slightly.
I understand that more than I want to.
"But another part of me..." he pauses. "I think I've known something was wrong for years."
I wait.
He leans his head against the seat. "When I was younger, my father used to take me to government facilities. I thought it was because he wanted to show me what he did."
"What did you see?" I ask quietly.
"People being scanned. Scientists working behind glass. Rooms I wasn't allowed to enter," his brow furrows. "There were always people who looked frightened."
My chest tightens, "What happened to them?"
"I don't know," he swallows. "I never asked."
"Why?"
"Because my father told me not to."
I look down, trying to keep myself from getting angry.
"And you listened."
"I was a kid."
There’s no anger in his voice, only regret.
"Back then,” he continues. “I thought my father knew what was best. Now I'm wondering how many things I saw without actually understanding what they were."
He rubs his hands together, "It's like someone pulled the floor out from underneath me."
I want to be angry with him, but I know exactly what he means.
"That's how I felt."
Crap! I didn’t mean to admit that.
Rian finally looks at me, "When?"
"When I found out about my parents," I swallow. This is not the time to cry now. "They told me they were my parents. They raised and loved me, and I never questioned it."
I pause. I just know that my voice is about to crack. I need to get it together. "Then I found out they weren't my biological parents."
The words still feel strange.
"My whole life suddenly became a question."
Rian remains quiet.
It’s not like he can get a word in anyways. I’m pouring my heart out and I can’t stop.
"I know they saved me. I know they protected me, but they still lied."
My eyes are burning now. At this rate, I definitely won’t be able to keep it in. "And then they left."
Is that my voice? I sound like a little kid right now.
"They left me alone with a message telling me that I wasn't who I thought I was and that the government was coming for me."
I’m suddenly interested in staring out of the windshield, even though I’m not really looking at anything in particular.
"For a while, I thought they abandoned me."
Rian immediately turns toward me, "Felicity."
I shake my head, "I'm not saying they didn't love me. I know they did. I just..." Well, there it goes… my voice finally breaks. "I was scared."
Rian reaches over. His fingers gently touch my cheek and I freeze.
"You don't have to explain it," he says. "They're still your parents."
I look at him. His thumb brushes lightly along my cheek.
"Adopted or not, they're your parents. They raised you. They loved you enough to risk everything for you."
My sight is now completely blurry. "I know."
"I understand why you feel betrayed," his voice softens. "Because I feel betrayed too."
For several seconds, we don’t move. I can feel the warmth of his hand against my face, as he wipes my tears away. I should pull away. I know this. Rian is Director Vale's son, and I still don’t know where his loyalty truly belongs. However, at the moment, none of that seems to matter.
His gaze drops briefly to my lips, then returns to my eyes.
We don’t speak.
Then, Rian leans closer, yet I don’t move away. Our lips meet. The kiss is brief and gentle, almost hesitant, as though neither of us is certain we’re allowed to want this.
We pull apart and I stare at him. My heart feels as though it will burst out of my chest. However, I’m not sure if it’s because that kiss was great or if it’s because I don’t want it to end.
That frightens me more than the kiss itself. I actually enjoyed it and wanted more. However… I still can’t trust him.
Rian looks away, suddenly shy, "I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize," I say.
"I shouldn't have..."
"It's okay."
Now, we both find interest in looking anywhere except at each other.
I clear my throat, "So..."
"Yeah."
"Jax."
Rian's expression changes, and I notice immediately. Not wanting to make a big deal of this, I hurry on.
"He was there for me when everything happened."
"I know… though I was there for you first."
"He helped me get away from my house, and hid me. He helped erase my information."
Rian's jaw tightens, "And in the process, causing more problems."
I frown, even though I know he’s right about some of it. "Why do you say it like that?"
"Like what?"
"Like you don't like him."
Rian stares ahead, "I really don't."
That catches me off guard. He’s too blunt and quick with his answer.
"Why?"
"Because I don't trust him."
Folding my arms, I say, "You've said that before."
"And I'll keep saying it."
"Why?"
Rian doesn’t answer immediately. Instead, he looks back at me. "Just because someone helps you doesn't mean they have your best interests at heart."
The warning sent a chill through me.
"What are you trying to tell me?"
"Nothing," he looks away again.
"Rian."
He sighs, then says, "I'm glad Jax was there when you needed someone." His voice is controlled. "But I hope he's still willing to be there when it really counts."
Our eyes lock.
"What does that mean?" I ask.
"Forget it."
"No," I lean toward him. "You keep saying things like you know something about him."
Rian looks away. "You need to be careful."
"Of Jax?"
"Of everyone."
His eyes meet mine again.
"Just know that you need to be careful about who you put your trust in."
I don’t know what to say to that.
What happened between Rian and Jax! Who’s telling me the truth?
On top of all of this, that kiss… is causing me to be confused. I touch my lips unconsciously. Had Rian been warning me about Jax? Or, had he been warning me about himself?
I don’t know. And somehow, this uncertainty makes my heart beat faster instead of slowing it down.