I never tasted anything so much that it changed from sweet to sour.
Instead, there were many things I kept tasting, and they shifted from sweet to bitter.
Life was one.
Except I hadn't grown tired of it yet, and the taste changed.
■■■■■
Ariana guided me to a table in the cafeteria, where three boys sat, mostly talking rather than eating.
I slid my hand away from hers. "I'm sorry, but I can't do this."
It was terrible, the shivers I now got whenever I saw someone of the opposite gender.
"Is something wrong?" she asked softly. "He's not a bad person, I promise."
"I know that," I said, searching for the right words. "I just find it hard to meet new people."
"Both boys and girls?"
"Girls are..." I sighed. "A little easier."
We returned to our table, my mind craving the calming atmosphere of being alone.
I wished she would sit at her boyfriend's table instead of here.
"Aren't you going to get some food?" she asked. "They're serving turkey today as a special since the principal just got back from Moscow."
I looked at my finger on the table, avoiding her gaze; she reminded me of who I once was. "No, I'm not hungry."
She smiled. "Alright then, wait for me."
I finally looked up, watching her walk away to get food.
I tried to relax for a second, but murmurs from the table behind kept me from resting my head or sleeping even for a second.
"Do you think she's lost it over him?" a girl giggled. "They're always together, aren't they?"
"Your brain's just rotten, Ciara," another added. "You're just saying that because you can't date a boy without having s-"
Suddenly, the clatter of metal hitting the floor made me turn around.
The whole cafeteria did the same, their eyes fixed on a girl holding a fork to another's face.
Her expression was twisted, and you could almost see her veins, but the other girl didn't seem afraid; if anything, she smirked.
"What's wrong, Ciara? Did I hit a nerve?"
The cafeteria buzzed as the other girl brought the fork closer to her face.
"You're insulting me? I could ruin your reputation at this school in the time it takes you to blink."
A hand grabbed hers immediately, the one holding the fork, causing it to fall to the ground.
I looked to see who it was; the hand made it obvious it was a man.
Emmanuel- he was the one.
"What are you two doing?" he asked, focusing on the girl being threatened. "Is your hobby angering people, Siri?"
She winked at him. "Maybe it is, Emmanuel. Though if you want me to stop, I recommend you help your girlfriend fix her issues."
He shifted his gaze to the other, Ciara, saying, "Next time, just stay at my table. Avoid this sort of thing no matter what someone does."
Siri sat down, stepping away from the conversation, and some people in the cafeteria started to settle down too.
I shifted my gaze from Emmanuel, scared he might look at me or notice I was staring at him.
I always found myself doing that-memories caused it all, memories I knew I'd never get back.
"You got to see up front, right?" A voice said as I turned to see Ariana; she had a tray in her hand.
She placed the tray on the table, never tiring of smiling. "Those two girls are so unpredictable. I don't know if they're best friends or worst enemies."
She clasped her hands together, mumbling something as she closed her eyes.
She opened them again, bending down to look at her food.
"Are you praying?" I wanted to ask, but I was afraid she might not like that.
So I let her eat peacefully.
The school day went by-a typical 'so-so' day.
I never tied my hair up except during PE. Whenever some strands fell on my face, it made me feel disconnected from the world.
A shoulder bumped into mine-it was quite hard, so I assumed it was someone who took sports seriously.
A boy with red and black hair, who must have been a known delinquent for taking the 'Seniors can dye their hair' rule seriously.
He didn't apologize; instead, he hung an arm around his friend's neck, gossiping like he hadn't done anything.
I couldn't even get a good look at his face.
That was how it was in this school.
My brothers never walked home; Emmanuel had a car, so the three of them often came home in it, stopping at many places before reaching our place.
The house was now in sight as I rummaged through my bag, searching for my key-that's when I noticed a text notification on my phone.
I initially ignored it, opening the door until another notification sounded, then another, then yet another.
I entered my room, placed my bag on my desk, after pulling out my phone.
If it was my brothers, they'd definitely get mad if I didn't answer.
Hesitantly, I opened it and saw four texts from an unknown number. I didn't need to guess whose they were-the enthusiasm in her words made it obvious.
"This is Apple Rye's number, right? If not, sorry for embarrassing myself."
"Please reply. The teacher gave it to me; she said you once gave her your number when she asked for your parents."
"But I don't trust your homeroom teacher. I heard she's cheating on the doctor she's been with for two years, and she's also known for pranking students."
"You didn't hear that doctor part from me."
I sighed, throwing my phone onto the bed. I didn't understand her. We weren't even friends, and after the school trip, she'd probably forget me.
I put my hair in a bun and headed into the shower; the water wasn't enough to wash away the sorrows I held.
"Trip," I thought. It was the first time we would spend two weeks in a different country. This time, it was either France or Germany.
Another notification sounded from my phone-I knew it was my brothers because my body seemed to recognize the pattern.
A shiver always ran down my spine.
I wrapped a towel around my head and stepped out of the bathroom.
"Don't wait up. Emmanuel says you should cook something before we're back."
It was Christopher, the only one who would tell me unnecessary things like not to wait up.
Sometimes I wondered if, even with the smallest part of his soul left, he still cared about me.
I looked at the wound on my right hand-a long cut. It was Christopher who caused it.
I hung the towel and put my phone in my pocket. "I should go cook."