***************
Charlie noticed clumps of bright dandelions along the outside of Edna's fence. He winced and turned his attention to his chunk of galena, studying it as he walked the rest of the way to the highway. He thought about how the galena had silver in it, and how the rock itself was a mixture of silvery galena with its sharp rectangular faces, glittering quartz crystals, all in a dappled tan matrix, with small spots of what appeared to be malachite and chrysocolla. One rock, so many different, unique minerals.
He started to wonder if people were like that, too. Not just one thing, but a mixture of many characteristics and conflicting desires. The more he thought about it, the more he realized it had to be the case. Katie, Phil, Cade, Johnny, Marisol, Dylan, his parents, Principal Jolley, and even dear Edna were all so... complex. And maybe... maybe he was too. Maybe he wasn't just a hero or a villain, but... a little bit of both.
The low whirring of an occasional car racing down the highway brought his focus back to the road ahead. He gulped. Now, Mrs. Rachels would be zooming past on the highway, watching him slink half-naked on the way home. Charlie crouched down and crossed his arms across his chest, and left the side road for the barrow pit along the highway, expecting to hear jeers or laughing or catcalls or something. But cars sped by without incident. Charlie paused, looking down at himself, realizing how ridiculous he must look. Crouching down wasn't doing anything to hide his bare torso; it just made him look pathetic. If he was going to be seen half-naked, he may as well look like it was on purpose. But... no need to prolong the misery, either. He started sprinting, dodging the weeds and the occasional clumps of sagebrush and rabbit brush along the way, not slowing down until he had reached the rental house at the edge of the large vacant field that was his family's domain.
The rental was still alone in the field, save his own house in the far corner. The field was still filled with holes and dirt piles. His dad had still held on, hoping to develop the lots on his terms, not wanting the subdivision to fill with neighbors he didn't choose. It seemed a reasonable strategy, if the empty lots hadn't been draining their family's finances. It would cost even more to develop them, and then they would be levied with higher property taxes.
The rental had helped a little until Charlie came along and destroyed it.
It hadn't directly been his fault, but he was still to blame.
He had just wanted to be kind to dear Arnie. Arnie had been kind to him. Sure, he was a bit absent-minded, but he was very kind. Things had gone along well until Arnie's grandson got really sick and had to go to the hospital for a few weeks.
Arnie volunteered to watch Spunky, the boy's hamster, while he was in the hospital. Charlie didn't tell his dad about the hamster, despite his dad's strict no-pets rule. He was certain his dad would make Arnie get rid of it. Arnie enjoyed Spunky, and Charlie didn't expect much trouble from the little rodent. It was a tiny, cute little thing, and would only be staying for a few weeks. How much damage could a hamster do?
Charlie found out the answer to that question the hard way. Things had gone fine until Arnie fell asleep while holding the hamster. It took a week before they found it dead behind the fridge.
Charlie thought the whole ordeal was behind him until Arnie had to move into the nursing home last month. Evidence of Spunky's adventures became obvious when Charlie and his dad were cleaning the house. His dad was furious when Charlie confessed to hiding the hamster.
Charlie sighed as he walked past the house. He'd have to change into his work clothes and come back to work on tearing out more carpet.
He glanced at the dirt piles where he and Phil had ridden their bikes, played, run, played tag, and built forts out of branches, wishing his life were as simple as it had been back then.
"Home Sweet Home" by Motley Crue started playing in his mind as he walked toward his house, and he began humming along. He paused to look at his little flower bed along the front and sides of his house. He'd taken over it when his mom started her job.
He glanced approvingly at the flowers that were growing. The flax was in bloom, and the peonies were close. He hadn't enjoyed the bright red peonies lately, but he didn't have the heart to pull them out. Tall stocks of evening primrose were beginning to rise. Cheerful Johnny Jumpups were sprinkled through the flower bed. He barely tolerated the yellow ones. He had thought about getting rid of them, but they were so cute. A few flowers of wild chamomile were also blooming. He'd given up on trying to get rid of these a long time ago. He just tried to ignore the bright yellow centers. A few spiky Sweet Williams had survived the last frost earlier that month, and were looking good. The Black Eyed Susans, which were, fortunately, not too bright, were also growing nicely and would be blooming soon. The tulips and daffodils were fading. He was relieved that the bright red and yellow ones were almost done. He had considered uprooting these, but they had also managed to escape so far.
Charlie frowned at the and frowned at the weeds that had started to sneak in. He yanked at a little dandelion. Those, he was at war with. He glanced up at the hummingbirds hovering around his hummingbird feeder, which he always made sure to fill, then walked up the stairs and opened the screen door. He grabbed onto the doorknob and turned it, but it was locked. He scowled and reached for his key, frowning when he remembered it was in his pants pocket... In the locker room. He shuddered as the locker room came back to mind. The showers. The smell. Cade and his... weird... thing. He wished he could just leave everything in his locker until the next school year- or never. Just like everything else in that school.
************
Cade's heart raced as he headed down the stairs. Fortunately, no one was coming up them to see who was in the cupola. But he wanted to head to the banquet to find out if anyone had noticed anything in the cupola.
Cade stopped on the main floor and glanced at the door to the basement stairs, then shook his head. No, he was going the long way to the PE field. He didn't want to go through the cafeteria where Charlie had run into him, pass the doorway to the bathroom where he'd stood waiting for Charlie with his gym shirt when he could have been working on his drawing, or to go into the locker room where he'd shown Charlie his foreskin. So he headed out the main doors, barely noticing how nice a day it was outside.
Cade could hear Smashmouth's "All-Star" blaring on the speakers as he neared the banquet.
He paused at the sight of the PE field. He saw the banquet, but his thoughts were on the scowl on Charlie's face as he held his feet while Charlie was doing situps and the brief moment that the two were in sync while running. He sighed as he thought of him and Charlie, arms around each other's shoulders, laughing. He frowned. Charlie didn't laugh much anymore. And he'd fucked everything up with what was meant to be a playful tug.
Smashmouth started into the jovial chorus of their song.
Cade kicked the grass. Some fucking "All-Star" he'd been today.
He straightened. He was going in. He saw the two boys who had been pointing his direction playing tag. Maybe they didn't see anything after all?
He spotted Dyl talking to Ryan and Emily and started heading toward him.
He noticed Mandy and Tammy pointing and laughing in his direction. His face reddened, but he continued.
Shit. Did they know anything?
James from his wrestling team caught his eye and pointed down at his crotch. Cade looked at his own and groaned. He looked up at James and mouthed a quick "Thanks!" James gave him a thumbs-up. Cade darted behind a dumpster and slipped his hand in his shorts and groaned again. He'd been in such a hurry that he left his underwear on Ed's shoulder. He made his adjustment and pulled Charlie's shirt over the bulge the best he could. He frowned. Not the best, but at least it provided more cover than a freaking singlet.
Cade rounded the dumpster and saw Zeke and Jerry, who were also on the wrestling team.
Cade furrowed his brow and bit his lip. Speaking of singlets...
Zeke glanced his way briefly, then turned to Jerry and said, just loud enough for everyone within three yards to hear him, "Draw thy sword, and thrust me through herewith, lest this uncircumcised come and thrust me through and abuse me."
Cade's cheeks burned as a few people snickered.
Hold, hold...!
James turned to Zeke. "Come on, guys, that's not cool!"
Zeke grinned at Cade. "What? We're just doing a little Bible study over here."
Cade glared at Zeke but held his tongue.
Cade gave James a quick nod, and James nodded back.
Jerry leaned next to Zeke. "I bet the little fag would love to thrust you through and abuse you." He said in Zeke's ear, but loud enough for others to hear.
Zeke just nodded as he watched Cade walk away.
Cade walked over to where he was pretty sure the boys had been and looked up at the cupola. To his relief, only half of the window was visible, and it was dirty. If the boys had seen anything, it would have only been above his chest.
Cade wound his way through the crowd, drawing some funny looks and snickers, until he got to Dylan, who was gesturing wildly and carrying on with Emily, who was laughing and slapping her knee. Dyl froze with his arm in the air when he saw Cade. He dropped his arm and walked over to Cade, leaving Emily, who looked at him with a puzzled expression.
Dyl grabbed Cade's arm and pulled him off to the side.
"What the fuck, Cade? Where've you been now?"
Cade managed a weak smile. "So you did miss me!"
Dylan rolled his eyes. "Seriously, dude, where have you been?"
Cade scuffed at the grass. "I just... had some stuff to catch up on."
Dylan eyed him suspiciously. "On the second to last day of school?"
Cade shrugged.
Dylan scowled. "Don't tell me you were messing around with someone else!"
Cade felt his stomach tie itself up. "What do you mean?"
"What do you mean, what do I mean? First, you and the stiff in the locker room, and now, who knows? A girl? Another dude? What the hell is going on?"
Cade's eyes widened. "Whoa, hold on! What the fuck are you talking about?"
Dylan snorted. "Dude, I wasn't born yesterday. You and the stiff..."
"Dude, his name's Charlie, ok?" Cade snapped.
"Whatever." Dylan sneered. "As I was saying, you and the stiff were late to PE. Then you get all cuddly out on the field. Then you... I don't know, wanted more action on the field or something..."
"Dude, that was a fucking accident, ok?"
Dylan rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Obviously, you were used to yanking his pants down!"
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Cade's breathing got heavier, and he clenched his fists.
Dylan shook his head. "Oh, please. Jake found your clothes all over the fucking locker room and Charlie's buttons on the floor when he went in."
Cade's heart dropped to the ground.
Fuck.
He put his hands on Dylan's shoulders. "Dylan, listen to me! It's not what you think!"
Dylan pulled away. "Whatever."
Cade looked at him pleadingly. "Dyl, when have I ever lied to you?"
Dylan snorted. "I don't know anymore, man."
"Seriously, Dyl?" Cade plead.
Dylan looked Cade in the eye. "Ok, so what have you been doing since school got out, Cade?"
Cade's cheeks flushed. "Dyl, I can't..."
"Thought so." Dylan scoffed. "And while wearing the stiff's shirt? You're fucking messed up, Cade."
Cade watched Dylan walk away, then turned and ran back around the side of the school. When the banquet was out of sight, he bent over and vomited on the grass, then leaned up against the school and started to sob.