There was something different about Esperanza today. She had always been musically talented and the years had polished her skills to a high gloss, so her sets were always good, but right now there was a silent crackling in the air as she departed from her usual style to play something the worship team had never rehearsed. There was room for improvisation like this--in a Pentecostal body like this one, there always was--but her expression was sober, even muted, and that was unusual. A hush fell over the congregation as the delicate opening notes began to play and she began singing in a low half-whisper.
Caught...again / Your faithless friend / Don't You ever tire of hearing / What a fool I've been? / Guess I should pray / But what can I say? / Oh, it hurts to know the hundred times / I've caused You pain / The "forgive me"s sound so empty / When I never change / Yet you stay and say "I love you" still / Forgiving me time and time again
It's Your stubborn love / That never lets go of me / I don't understand / How You can stay / Perfect love, embracing the worst in me / How I long for Your stubborn love...
Sophia looked around. The whole church had gone eerily quiet. No shouting, no theatrics, no wailing...just silence. Stunned, captivated silence. Damon sat motionless at the keyboard, eyebrows raised and jaw tight, hanging on every word. Gone was his usual flair.
Funny me / Just couldn't see / Even long before I knew You / You were loving me / Sometimes I cry / You must cry too / When You see the broken promises / I've made to You / I keep saying that I'll trust You / Though I seldom do / Yet you stay and say You love me still / Knowing someday I'll be like You
And Your stubborn love / It never lets go of me / I don't understand / How You can stay / Perfect love, embracing the worst in me / How I long for Your stubborn love...
As the instrumental bridge roared out of the speakers and tore through the congregation, eyes squinched shut, tears flowed, shoulders shook, and knees hit the floor under the weight of conviction. Nobody needed to be told: Esperanza was plumbing depths that she had never plumbed before. This was the realest, rawest performance that she had ever given. Damon in particular was so powerfully moved that he not merely bowed his head but buried his face in his hands.
It's Your stubborn love / That never lets go of me / I don't understand / How You can stay / Perfect love, embracing the worst in me / And You never let me go / I believe I finally know / I can't live without...Your stubborn...love...
As the music faded and Esperanza put the microphone back on its stand, only one sound remained audible: sniffling. Sophia silently marveled. For perhaps the first time in her memory, the Spirit had actually moved at Holy Ghost Fire. Nothing else could render a congregation this lively, this colorful, this physical, so quiet, contrite, and submitted. Nothing of its like had ever been seen inside this building. After an astounding ten-minute pause, Pastor Moses finally took the stage, sheepishly wiping his eyes and quipping, "Dear Lord, how could I ever follow that? Am I even supposed to?"
He went on to give a decent but routine sermon about living up to your full potential titled "Don't Die in Haran". Even the sermon, though, despite having been given multiple times before, felt a little more inspired this time, having seemingly been given new force by the music that preceded it.