The smoke of incense fills my being. My head feels as if it is about to burst. Hearing the symphonic whispers of wine escorted by a serenade of flirtatious giggling. A voice elegant and decadently deep much like my own, but of hymns of cosmic voids rather than the lullaby of night speaks. “Ah Night Shepherd, you have awoken.”
Slowly forcing my eyes open. Squinting with pain. Looking up towards the sound of the voice. At first it is blurry, then comes into focus. What? I do not believe the sight before me.
A crystal version of the Dimperial Palace throne room. My body lays on the black crystalline floor of this place. Far more ornate and decadent than the one I know. Upon the throne seemingly sits another me. The color of his crown is not the blackest of royal purples, but of deepest darkest stellar voids. Adorned in the finest of sheer, hand woven silks; dyed in a menagerie of deep and vibrant colors. Jewelry caressing his body, rings on every talon. In his left talon a chalice far too opulent for my tastes.
Three gorgeous corvapian women surround him. The oldest, about sixty ages, dances in a soft sway to his right, singing sweet chants. In her talons she swings a censer on a chain. Topless and multi skirted, as if a priestess queen of times past. The one at the left is gowned head to toe in only jewelry. The woman sits at his left armrest, her body slung over his. She seems about my age, about forty or so. A large jug, comparable to a barrel, is sentry beside her. The one in the middle is dressed in high class fashion. She seems to be in her lower twenties in age. At least I assume she calls herself a she. If I am proven wrong, I will apologize and correct my assumption. She sits center right at his feet upon her own ornate pillow throne. Her head resting on his knee while she caresses his leg. A tray of regal chalices is before her.
My mirror image makes a soft gesture with his talons while whispering something to the women surrounding him. They begin to rise from him.
“What dream is this?” Asking as my talons curl against the floor to push myself up. Rising up clumsily, I find myself neither bearing crown nor guardian garb, but rather in a monk’s humble robes. The color, a soft natural black, the material is similar to hemp cloth.
“This is no dream aside from you. Behold, I am the real you. Welcome to reality, lost little self. Welcome home.”
As he addresses me, the women gather together. The oldest swings incense over the jug and goblets with conviction. The youngest brings a single goblet up to the one around my age. She opens the jug, the scent of most sweet and velvety wines captivates my senses, the incense following not far behind it. She takes a ladle from the jug’s side, drawing up the wine.
I am in a dream. This is me? This cannot be-
“Ease your thoughts, good shepherd. These three goddesses are my wives.”
Ah, goddesses. I sigh with relief as the queens now together begin to descend from the throne towards me.
He continues speaking “It is my humble honor to serve them, as they serve the people. Together with our other three spouses, the seven of us share one throne, one crown.”
“Poetic.” I am not polyamorous, but it seems this version of me is, it also seems we have the same orientation otherwise. Must be inherited from mother, or mother of this world.
Wait. I was at the club with Malencia. Then- “Dark Lord, pardon my interruption, but is one of your spouses named Malencia?”
He looks at me curiously. “Malencia? I have never heard that name in my life. We do have a husband named Myhr-Len, such a magical man blessed with the epitome of feminine grace and strength. He and Umbreleene are also palace tutors. Eight of our collective childlings attend with them, as well as other childlings of palace employees their age. We enjoy a large and loving family. I feel you are troubled by the nightmare of yours. Rest assured it is only a nightmare.”
No Malencia, does that mean- my little hearts- gone and present. Phantisma’s mischievous smile, Kurai’s inquisitive stare - are they not? Tears in my eyes as my heart aches.
“The matter at talon, good Shepherd, to receive a chalice from a queen is an honor not granted to many. You however are a most honorable guest. You are my Holy Sorrow, and you have returned to reality.” The Dark Lord continues.
The three queens now stand before me, I shove down my feelings while my head bows to them. They return with a regal head bow. The oldest one conjures fresh incense before me out of the air, adding it to her smoldering swing bowl. The smell of this smoke is far more rich than anything I am used to. Never have my eyes been drenched by such a thick, gray smoke that is far more decadently uplifting than a smudge.
Are the people of this Dimperium just as comfortable?
Once the incense burns out of the censer, she steps aside. The two other queens now step toward me as he speaks again.
“Come, drink with us Lost Me. Hold out your talons to receive the honor of the gift.”
Within my darkest being, something about this feels off. Yet, through silence I hold my talons below theirs.
The queen closest to my own age takes the serving ladle as the youngest one places the empty chalice in my talons. The glittering one then ceremoniously pours wine from her ladle into the goblet. After serving, the three queens then make their way back to their shared throne.
“Thank you.” Is all that my mouth can manage.
“No need for thanks, Lost Me.”
Once they ascend, the priestess hangs her censer upon its stand. The heiress brings the other goblets to the gemmed warrior of love. He rises from the throne to join them. As they kiss each other, something is whispered between them in a language that I do not know. The language has a feeling though, hauntingly dark and indulgently visceral, yet they speak it so sweetly.
He looks to me. “As I said earlier, Shepherd of Sorrow, we share one throne.”
The Dark Lord then takes the tray of chalices as well as the ladle, he serves each of the queens. The youngest one now sitting where he sat upon with the other two on the arm rests around her, those two have swapped sides. He comes back, bowing and kissing the talons of each of them as he hands them each a chalice. The most lavish goblet he presents now to the one upon their throne, then seats himself on the pillow at her feet.
The one properly seated on the throne, the youngest one, raises her chalice. The others follow her, he nods to me to do the same.
“With this sacred act, join us.” Her voice is deeply regal.
“Pardon me good queen, but join in what exactly?”
“The reality you knew is all just a nightmare. Our guardian of darkness, the True Emperor of Darkness has defeated Evil in combat. However Evil is not so simple to defeat, different aspects of the darkness in his heart broke off from his mind as consequence. That was before I joined this holy unity. Now he has recollected all of himself, all but you. Holy Purity of Sorrow, the last left. You will be whole, reborn, and ascended into your most divine truth. With this drink, become one with Him, then one with Us. We love you. Your True Family is overjoyed that you have returned.”
They proceed to lead with drink, I feel my talons lifting the goblet to my lips against my intuition. Receiving the decadent aroma of the wine; its velvety depths marries the resin smoke in the chalice. Creating an image of black fruits in my nose like no other. My talons lift to taste it, but a pain in my heart breaks me from this trance. A splash reaches out for my lips, falling just short. Trance.
“What is wrong Sweet Sorrow?” The one my age asks with tranquilizing serenity.
Gazing into the wine, I see my reflection, then up at the mirror image of myself. Drinking in only the words said. Something terrifies me. My heart races, I know not the meaning of these tears in my eyes. Then I hear a tiny heartbeat. Then a larger one.
Casting my eyes to bow before each queen. “I hear and thank you all, but I have two daughters.” Shifting my eyes straight into his. Searching for his soul beneath his garnet view so that I may appeal to it. “I sold my soul to save them from their mother. If you never met her, then none of mine ever hatched. Yet my soul is sold; so then what of yours?”
The Dark Lord places his chalice on the tray, then rises from his seat. His eyes directly meet mine. “I am your soul.”
The youngest queen sits back down upon the throne in silence.
He then looks to each of them, kissing once the talons of each of them. “My loves, allow me to speak to this Shepherd alone.”
“Feel free.” The throned one smiles upon him.
“Speak your truth.” The priestess one gently touches his lips.
“Our love, you certainly do not need our permission.” The one adorned in gems giggles.
He then mist travels with a darkness deeper in color and heavier in weight than mine. Standing before me, he gently takes my talon in his. “Here. Fly with me. All your questions will be answered.”
Before I can respond, we are perched upon the highest point of the palace roof. What should be beams of timber is too crystal just as in the interior. Overlooking the citadel of Nocturna, beholding how clean and orderly it is. How can streets be this sanitary? Life is not so. Do people even live here?
Looking up, the breathtaking sight of fields, forests, mountains, farmlands, cities, towns and villages within the groves and fertile plains. The beauty of nature in both the land and people is abundant here. It looks like an ideal painting. Not a blemish on the land or sky. A chaos-less night.
“See, all is well with the home world.”
He then teleports us off the roof and into the nestery chamber of his own roost hall. Here too, what is the timber in my reality is the same black crystalline in this one. Darkness soothing and playful, restful and rejuvenating is the atmosphere, like a clear spring night. It has been too long since my own home felt this homey. He leads me over to the bassinest, the same wood as that as the forbidden woods makes this hatchling’s furniture. The same wood as the book’s chest.
“This one is our littlest one, his name is Nochevivo.” He gently lifts the sleepy hatchling, cradling him in his arms. His gaze upon me is soft as he then steps toward me. “Here. Hold out your arms, I want you to carry him.”
My talons gently hold the hatchling as his father gracefully passes him to me. Looking down at the baby cradled in my arms. My heart hurts with excruciating, stabbing pain.
He looks just like Kormizyo did.
This hatchling lord squirms to get himself comfortable, then nods back off to sleep just as quickly. One of my unsolicited tears falls on his cheek. Gently wiping my thumb at his cheek, drying his face from it.
Unable to stop the silent crying of my aching heart; gently handing the little Prince Nochevivo back to his father. Aw’ddy. Childhood dream. Abuse. Nightmare.
“Emperor of Darkness, I am already an Aw’ddy to two beautiful little girls. If you know my tribulations, then you know of them. If I were to join you in this paradise, would I be able to bring my daughters? They deserve to be free of their torment and nightmares as well.” I plead.
He puts his son back down in his bassinest, kisses his cheek, then rises. He turns to me and captures my talon again. “If I cannot appeal to your heart with family, then I need to show you the bigger picture.”
He is not answering my questions about the girls.
With his grave toned words we suddenly fly through astral voids far faster than I usually allow myself to travel. Yet with this there are no demons, not even vague creatures. Realities and multiverses intact as we burst through these barren void planes. How can this be?
We arrive at our destination, within the vastness of the voids between multiple universes. Showing me all of my home multi-verse clusters. Cosmic Unity as far as the eye can see.
“See Night Shepherd, there is no war between darkness and light here. It never existed.”
A smile brushes against my lips, wanting to also greet it in my heart. Yet the darkest depths of me cannot.
“I am sure that makes Hokulani’s job much easier. It is good to know that her load is lightened in this reality.” My voice is quiet as I wipe my eyes.
He looks down not in sorrow, but in anger. His eyes intense with pain of ages past at the mention of her name.
I lock my eyes on his fleeing gaze, a gentle shift in my tone to somberly inquisitive. “What happened to my best friend?”
He remains quiet with his talons now as tight fists, still avoiding eye contact.
“I am not asking you again, Dark Lord. Answer the question. What happened to Lani?” The gravity of my heart begins to beat fierceness into my voice.
He sighs, trying to speak calmly, channeling all his intensity into his stare. He returns eye contact with his eyes dead in mine. “We were not even juveniles yet. One dusk, we were playing together in the astral realms.”
“As we did often. I was escaping the monastery, and she loves traveling and having new adventures.” My volume softens, not my intensity.
“This adventure did not end well. Evil Incarnate snuck into our play space with a hunting party of demon lords.” He says.
My heart falls to my stomach in anticipation of what he could say next.
He continues. “Evil wanted a new pet puppy. The demon lords were hungry to consume the son of The Night’s Priestess. Out of both retaliation for her loving acts in the darkness, as well as already having tasted our species before. Craving the opulence that our lineage must taste like to them.”
“Evil was looking to capture an angel child for Itself, and my body, my life was the reward for Its hunting hell hounds?” I try to rephrase what he just said. There are no such words to express the crushing terror in my body his words bring.
“Evil did not take her. She fell in battle, so that I could get away-” He says.
“You should have died beside her!” I interrupt him with my fury and talon.
His head turns from the force of my open palm slapping him across the face. I hold back to only strike as hard as I would strike myself. Honor enough to resist striking him down with my back-talon.
He turns his head back to me while his talon massages my deep blue imprint on his cheek. The glare in his eyes intense. “Her death was not in vain, she was avenged.”
“Hokulani does not tread the path of vengeance!” With tears, my open palm flies to strike him as I speak.
He grabs my wrist before my palm lands on his face again. His voice drained of warmth, keeping only the darkest depths. “How much more must I show you?”
With this we teleport to an ancient darkness beyond mortal worlds.
“Listen Koriath. The little boy Hokulani saved, grew to be a man. That man remembered the very vibrations of Evil and It’s minions. The same man stands before you now. I hunted them down, one by one. Defeating Evil cost my emotions, splitting them off across multiple multiverses. I regained myself after finding each one, healing wholly. With this healing of myself, I am able to bend every dark inch of Existence. Light bending to Darkness yes, but always in her name and honor. Because of her sacrifice and my power, every multiverse is at peace, the weakest element has become the strongest. Life and Leisure exist for all eternally beneath our reign."
The Dark Lord keeps saying injudicious statements about using our bloodline’s power to control the multiverses and bring about a false Cosmic Unity. I am unable to pay attention to him, as I can finally hear what the shooting pain in my being is. Its prayers.
“Aw’ddy! Please. I’m praying. Save us!” Nightshade’s trembling voice beats in my heart.
“Koriath - Devadas! I failed!" Adumbra screams this into my being.
The situation must be dire if she is cawing for Devadas. Kurai needs me and Adumbra failed?
“Little Brother, I heard the captain in my heart. There is nothing out of the ordinary here, but I am sending out a squad to check on her. In case of security breach, I am escorting your Moonstone through the catacombs to the sanctum. No one knows this but you and us.” Devadas now prays.
Thank the gods Phantisma and Devadas are safe, yet I need to leave. Now.
“Thank you for your hospitality, but my daughter is in danger.” I bow my head swiftly.
As I turn to fly away on a mist travel, it grabs my arm.
A right hook to my image’s face knocks him from me. As soon as I am free, I fly through what seems to be time and space.
The mirror follows fast. Catching me in a frightening grip.
“If you really are me, you would let me go.” I fight to break free of his grasp.
“Why would I let go of My Holy Sorrow?” It speaks with longing, yet I sense something far more sinister underneath.
“Because a childling I love needs me! If yours are mine, are not mine also yours? … Unless-” This time my other back-talon breeches its face.
Like a black sea crashing upon stone, the Illusion washes away. This is not me; it is a powerful demon wearing my reflection.
Taking flight again, my head feels as if it is both on fire and many small insects scurry across my mind at the same time. I feel cold stone laying beneath me as I fly faster through this mental abyss.
My actual talons tremble on some sort of concrete-like substance. My head feels like something is crushing it from all sides. I cannot open my eyes; and all I see is the demon chasing me through time and space, under my eyelids. What in the hell worlds was in those drinks?
Adumbra sends out a prayer energy, but her words have fallen as silent as the grave.
“I'm terrified. Aw'ddy! Come save me now! Please! Please! Please, please, save me Aw'ddy.” Kurai is still praying for me to save her.
My wings twitch as I fight to wake and rise.
“Keep flying guardian. While you cannot die, no matter how far you fly, you will not awaken.” It taunts both inside and outside my mind.
It’s the other way around, I’m trapped inside a dream, no; a drug induced magical nightmare. My body was moved somewhere; the last place I remember was at the club first floor bar. I only had two drinks when I was alone. That wine was not as strong as what I usually drink at home. I do not allow myself to trash what is left of my reputation in public alone.
Something is wrong. The second drink was off, the first was cover and manipulation of trust. The bartender must have slipped some insidious enchantment. I have seen this before, sometimes businesses like these are part of trafficking rings. You never stop to think that this could happen to you when you are so used to righting the wrong. This was an inside job.
Malencia is either on the inside or actively breaking my heart for fun. I honestly hope she is just cheating on me at this point. It would not be new, we could work past this. I cannot think about us when my daughter’s prayers for salvation barrage my heart. Adumbra’s silence shouts.
I try to fly away, but all goes black. My body is somewhere cold, dark, and industrial. No matter how hard I try, this demon will not let me escape the drug-dream. Physically, I cannot open my eyes.
This will not stop me. Kurai, I will save you my princess. My talon grips the cement again. Hold on little Nightshade, Aw’ddy is on his way.