Taytum
The morning light filtering through Ryder’s blinds was a harsh reminder that the fantasy of the night before had to meet the reality of the day. We woke up tangled in a mess of sheets, the air still heavy with the scent of him. I felt a pang of something-affection, maybe-but I forced it down. I knew guys like Ryder. You didn’t stay until the coffee was brewed unless you wanted to get hurt.
“I’m leaving you,” I said softly, sliding out of bed and reaching for my black jeans.
Ryder didn’t even try to pull me back. He just adjusted his pillow, his eyes sleepy and dark. “Bye, Taye,” he muttered, a small, knowing smirk playing on his lips.
I drove home with the windows down, the cool air clearing my head. When I walked into the kitchen, my mom was already, hovering over a mug of coffee. I couldn’t hide the glow on my face. I told her everything-how we sang, how he danced with the older woman, how it felt like no time had passed at all. She just smiled, her eyes bright with a “mother knows best” kind of look.
We spent the afternoon shopping, but my mind was miles away. Then, my phone pinged in my purse.
Ryder: Going out again tonight. You in?
My heart did a surprise little flip. I looked at my mom. “I’m going out with Ryder again tonight.” She just gave me a thumbs up and a wink.
I wanted to keep it casual this time. I threw on a cropped tee and jeans, straightened my hair until it was glass-smooth, and headed back to that familiar driveway. When I pulled up, Ryder hopped in, but he wasn’t alone in his plans.
“We gotta pick up my friend first,” he said, tossing his traditional road beers into the back seat.
“Alright, give me the GPS coordinates, Walter. Tell me how to get there.”
He smirked, clicking his seatbelt. “Yeah, probably for the best, ‘cause you fucking suck with directions.”
“Hey, I’m fucking blind too, so there’s that,” I laughed, squinting at the road. He let out a genuine, booming laugh and cracked open his beer as we headed toward the city.
The night was a blur of neon and loud music. We picked up his friend, whose entire personality seemed to revolve around his “body count” and which girls he was going to hook up with that night. Ryder just laughed along, but I noticed he didn’t join in on the locker-room talk.
At the bar, I spotted a guy from work and decided to play his game. I went over to say hello, leaning in just enough to be polite, but the whole time I could feel Ryder’s eyes burned into the side of my head. It was a power trip I wasn’t used to, and I loved every second of it.
We danced until the lights came on and the floor felt sticky. On the walk back to the car, Ryder mentioned his friend found another ride home. I felt a surge of relief-I wanted him to myself. But as soon as the doors closed and I put the car in gear, the atmosphere shifted.
“Okay, here’s the deal,” Ryder said, his voice dropping the playful edge. “I don’t do relationships. We can hook up, we can have fun, but that’s it.”
The words should have stung, but I was guarded. I’d just come out of a relationship that had shredded my nerves; I wasn’t looking for another cage.
“Ryder, It’s fine,” I said, keeping my voice steady. “I just got out of something bad. I’m not looking for a ring.”
“Aright, he said, leaning back. Because a lot of girls can’t fucking handle it.”
I gripped the steering wheel, a flare of defiance hitting my chest. “I can fucking handle it.”
The rest of the drive was quiet, the radio filling the space we were both afraid to touch. When I pulled into his driveway, I didn’t turn off the engine.
“I’m heading back home tonight,” I said.
He didn’t argue. He just leaned in, the scent of the night lingering on him. “Bye, Taytum.”
As I backed out of his driveway, I caught his reflection in my mirror. I told him I could handle it, but as the distance grew between us, I wondered which one of us I was actually trying to convince.
Ryder
I watched her drive away, the red glow of her taillights disappearing around the bend. I can fucking handle it. She’d said.
I wanted to believe her. I needed to believe her. Because for the first time, I was worried about someone getting hurt. Most girls hear “no relationship’ and they try to change my mind within the week. But Taytum? She looked me in the eye and agreed.
She’d spent the night talking to some guy from work just to see if I’d notice. I noticed. I noticed the way the light hit her hair and the way she laughed at my jokes even when they weren’t that funny.
I told her the rules to protect myself as much as her. If I keep it as “just fun,” then I don’t have to worry about the look she gave in the car three years ago.
She thinks she can handle it. I hope she’s right, because I’m starting to think I’m the one who’s in over my head