Fabian drove like a maniac until the car broke down many, many miles later. Soon after, we found another car and continued driving. I didn't bother to pay attention to the make or model this time. It's now been several days since we managed to escape from Keith. The sun rose and fell over and over again, but I lost count. It doesn't matter anymore how many days go by. My mother is dead. Neil is dead. I don't have anything left to live for now.
I have not spoken a single word since. I've been laying in the backseat, and I have not moved. I haven't eaten a single bite. Fabian has tried to get me to eat several times, but I don't. I don't want to eat. I don't want to do anything. I just want to die. I wish it had been me instead. Every time I close my eyes, I see Keith ripping Neil's throat out. This is all his fault! I may want to die, but the thought of making Keith pay for all he's done to me gives me just enough resolve to keep on going. But is it even worth it? Can he even be killed?
"Hey," Fabian pipes up softly from the front seat. He looks at me through the rearview mirror, his green eyes glistening. I don't answer. I just stare at the ceiling.
He sighs. "You really should eat something."
I close my eyes. Just go away. I want it all to go away.
"Carol, please talk to me." But I don't talk. I don't want to. I just want him to leave me alone.
"I know you're upset about Neil. But you can't just...shut down," Fabian says gently. "This isn't what he would've wanted."
Everything and everyone I care about is gone. Why shouldn't I shut down? There's nothing worth living for.
Fabian breathes out heavily when I don't respond. "Crap..."
Abruptly, the car slows to a jarring stop. I balance myself to keep from falling onto the floor, and carefully sit up. Fabian steps out of the car and slams the door. He walks a few feet and then opens my door.
"Get out." His voice is hard and cold like a robot. I don't move, I just stare at him. His green eyes are dark again, his jaw set with tension. His eyes become darker when he gets angry, I've noticed.
Fabian grabs me roughly by the arm and yanks me out of the vehicle. "I said, get out!"
I fall to my knees on the hard asphalt of the road, but he pulls me up to my feet. He drags me in front of the car, nearly pulling my arm from its socket. I twist my arm free from his grasp and glare at him. Fabian takes a few steps back, pulling his gun from the holster. He holds it out to me.
"Take it," he says gruffly. "You wanna die? Here. It'll be faster this way."
Stricken, I stare at the handle. I gulp nervously and shake my head, feeling tears pool in my eyes.
Fabian raises an eyebrow. "No? Because it looks to me like you're giving up."
I bite my lip, trying to hold the tears back. I shake my head again, more vigorously this time. "I'm not..."
Silently, Fabian puts his gun back. He takes something from the car and hands it to me. It's a bag of cereal.
"Eat," he says sharply. Crying softly, I take it from him and scoop out a handful. I shove it into my mouth and chew. It's stale, tasteless and dry. But somehow, it's the best thing I've tasted in the whole world. My stomach gurgles as I swallow it, coughing as a few pieces go down the wrong way. Fabian hands me water, and I take it gratefully, swallowing mouthful after mouthful.
Finally, a sob breaks through and the tears fall. Fabian cups my face in his hands, staring down into my eyes. One, single tear falls from his right eye.
"Neil sacrificed his life so we could get away," he whispers. "You cannot let that be in vain. I know the pain you feel right now. He was my..." Fabian's voice cracks, and he presses his lips together.
Gulping, Fabian forces himself to continue. "He was my baby brother. And he cared about you. So I can't...let you die. For his sake, and for yours."
"Fabian, I...I'm sorry," I sniffle, my breath hitching.
He pulls me into a tight yet gentle hug, his hand on the back of my head. "It's okay..."
I nestle my head into the crook of his neck as he pushes his nose into my hair. "I won't let anything happen to you. I promise," Fabian whispers softly, taking a deep breath.
At those words, the dam breaks once more. The pain floods out in agonizing waves, pulsing through me and pushing into my chest, against my heart. I scream into Fabian's chest as the entire world crashes around me. I scream and I scream, and Fabian just holds me and lets it happen. Over and over again I scream, and I keep screaming until my voice goes hoarse, and I can scream no more. Is this what it feels like to disappear?
Some time later, I'm back in the backseat of the car, munching on the stale cereal Fabian gave me. Something on the seat next to me glints a bright yellow as the setting sun of the day hits it. I stop mid chew, moving the cereal to the side. There's a golden chain attached to a small, heart shaped pendant. It glimmers dimly in the light, flashing into my eyes. I squint as I scoop it up and into my hand.
What is this? I flip it in my hand over and over again, staring at it. Where did this come from? Wait. My mind flits back to the fight with Keith, when I jumped on him. I ripped something off his neck, something gold. I guess I've been holding onto it this whole time without noticing. This must be Keith's.
I stroke it along the edges, feeling a small hinge and then a tiny latch on the other side. It's a locket. Blinking curiously, I carefully open it. Inside is a small, fading picture of a smiling woman, holding a smiling boy on her lap. I don't recognize the woman or the boy. Neither of them look familiar. Who are they?
"What's that?" Fabian asks from the front seat, noticing the small locket in my hand.
"I don't know...." I mumble. I snap it shut and tie the gold chain around my neck.