After school, Effie went back again to see the intense bookseller. Wearing a blue plaid shirt, he smiled when she entered the store. His eyes held an intense light. He motioned for her to sit. He even pulled up a chair for her near his.
“So how was the book?”
“It kept me reading, but I didn’t like some parts.”
“Like what?”
“Like their toxic relationship. Veronica put up with too much for the sake of Lucas. No way! I wouldn’t put up with a man like that.”
“Let’s talk in ten years,” he teased. “I hope you avoid most of the pitfalls of dating within the human race.”
“I’m serious,” she assured him, “Her books show me what I don’t want in a partner.”
“Good for you,” he said, “You are smarter than I ever was.”
Effie chuckled and then thought for a moment before continuing, “I guess I understand the point. Her Higher Self understood what was required such as love, and the Fraternity initiated her so that balance could be achieved.”
“You still seem hesitant.”
“It just seems that Veronica didn’t get her own life or her own needs fulfilled. Maybe that’s because mine aren’t either.”
“She gave herself to Service. That became her needs, as did the needs of Lucas. They served something greater than their human wants.”
Effie mulled over that and then stared at the man, who was studying her as well. Very focused and even a little stiff, Les seemed settled into his ways; whereas, she flitted about like a bird afraid of getting hurt by the uncertainties of the world. She still wanted some sense of freedom and choice. Those were very important to her, as they should be. She struggled with those ideas.
Les recited a line from The Demon Lover, “‘Oh Pythoness! Can you not remember?’”
Those words took her by surprise and she froze. The words stung her and a tear emerged in the corner of her eye. Was that an accusation?
The man with the triangular face and probable invisible horns of Pan softly added, “‘Oh Priestess of Isis have you forgotten?’”
She tried to pretend that it didn’t affect her. With a shrug, she whispered, “Maybe I have.”
Les took hold of her hands, squeezed them and said, “You are young and just figuring out life. You feel a push and pull from society as well as from yourself. It will take a while to find your center and plant your feet firmly on your chosen path. What you feel is normal.”
She nodded and wiped her eyes, but her defensive nature made her jab him with her words.
“‘You’re an irritating old, cuss, I must say. You try me sorely’,” she said, quoting from The Goat-Foot God.
Having recognized that line, he replied with the following response, “‘If you never get anything worse than me to try you, you won’t do too badly,’ as Jelkes told Rupert, and I’m saying it to you now.”
“Probably true.”
“If we are never confronted, we never find our potential.”
“I don’t like confrontation. I guess I have to deal with that.”
“Well, Effie, are you ready for another book?”
With a half smile, he lifted a book from a pile on the counter and proudly held it out, saying, “Moon Magic.”
Her face lit up as her eyes soaked in the cover with a picture of Isis. So regal and strong, the image of the Goddess impressed her. She wanted to know more about Her. Would Vivien show up again? She missed her, as she became a symbol of dedication as well as great mystery.
Les explained, “This book was published in 1957, eleven years after Dion Fortune’s death, so it was completed by friends of hers.”
“Tell me about it.”
“After the story in The Sea Priestess, Vivien Le Fay Morgan changes her name to Lilith Le Fay and travels to London to establish an Isis cult. It was said that an initiate who read The Sea Priestess and Moon Magic, along with her nonfiction book, The Mystical Qabalah, would hold the ‘keys to the kingdom.’”
“How can I say ‘no’ to that? How much?”
“It is a little worn, so two dollars.”
She pulled a couple crinkled dollars from her pocket and put them on the counter.
“Maybe I can get a job here? It will help me be able to afford books.”
“I’m not exactly hiring right now. Business is slow at the moment.”
“Maybe I can shelve books for you or clean to earn a book or two.”
His serious eyes studied her and then his smile broadened. He liked her willingness to work for them.
“Okay. Maybe on the weekends. We’ll see how it goes.”
“Thank you.”
He handed her the book and said, “Read it and see where this one takes you. Then we'll talk.”
“I’m sure it will take me to places I’d never get to in the ordinary world.”
He nodded as if experiencing that very thought.
Before she left, she showed Les her notebook. He flipped through, noting her diagrams of the Tree of Life as well as diary entries. One contained a passage about him. His eyes lit up.
With a chuckle, he asked, “So you think I look like a typical TV villain with red hair, a goatee, and sharp features?”
“Well, that was before I knew you.”
The man wearing suspenders handed her the notebook back and scratched his head.
“I don’t think I’m that scary.”
“I didn’t mean to prejudge you.”
“Well, I didn’t mean to prejudge you either. I think you are very dedicated to your studies.”
With that thought, he pulled out another book and showed her The Mystical Qabala.
“Read. Learn. And I’ll save this one for you.”
“And I’ll have the keys to the kingdom?”
“And so you shall.”
Effie grinned and rushed home with her next treasure. When she got there, her mother followed her and told her that the books might be dangerous because they have occult themes. She suggested that she read other books as well. Effie tried to explain that she wasn’t about to do anything dangerous or get involved in any cults. She also explained to her that she has a right to be who she is, and that they can adopt her, but they can’t change her dreams or decline her right to engage her spirit. She then ran to her room and shut her door. Holding in her tears, she wondered why they adopted her in the first place. Those thoughts recurred from time to time.
Later, Effie went to speak to her father who was watching the news. Though appearing tired, he patted the seat beside him. She tried to explain to him that she was learning different philosophies and religions, and that it meant a lot to her to see viewpoints different from hers.
“I hope you and Mom can trust me,” she said, sitting on the faded blue couch beside him and putting her bare feet on the coffee table.
“We do trust you,” Bob assured her, while turning the volume down on the TV. “Just come to us if you have any questions or concerns.”
“I’ll do that,” Effie promised. “Just help Mom know that I’m not doing anything wrong.”
“She is just concerned that you should be meeting friends and going to school functions while you are young. Don’t forget those things too.”
“Balance. I’ll work on that.”
“That’s all we want.”
Effie nodded and headed to her room. Sighing, she realized that she had school work to do. She settled at her desk and worked on her assignments. When her Mom checked on her and offered to bring her cookies, Effie thanked her. She waited until her parents went to bed before reading what she wanted to. But to her, she needed this private time. It fed her soul and gave her something to strive for. Something was about to happen like a rose trying to open. What that meant, she didn’t know.