Chapter Two
With tears soaking the blue and red quilt, loneliness seeped into the space above her, the space below her, and to each side. Days like this made a cramped bedroom too large, too notably lonely. She had no choice. She had to go caving. Only a few kids welcomed the outsider so far. Fear or no fear, it was time to spread her wings and see if she could keep from falling further into the suffocating abyss of grief.
To keep from embarrassing herself, Fee decided to do a test run. After a little investigation online, she printed out a map. On Saturday, she planned on going alone to Cathedral Caverns. This one shouldn’t be difficult, she thought. Having the widest entrance of any cave in the world—128 feet long and 25 feet high—it was the least claustrophobic. Plus, it had a paved and lighted pathway. She could handle that, couldn’t she? Even if it meant a mile round trip of walking.
Of all the places on Earth, she had the misfortune of ending up in Alabama, having the highest density of caves in the world. This included karst systems—which she just learned were sinkholes, caves, and underground streams. No danger there. What could possibly go wrong?
Fee groaned, “Lucky me,” and grabbed her car keys.
“Are you leaving now? We just sat down to watch a movie…if you want to join us?”
“No thanks, Gram. I have to take one of the guided tours of the cavern.”
“You will love it,” Deidre squealed, emerging from the kitchen.” I went there when I was your age.``
All the more reason not to go?
“I’m sure I will love it.” Fee forced a weak smile.
Cathedral Caverns used to be called Bat’s Cave. Could that be because there were real bats in it? Hairy, fox-faced creatures diving at her with their pointy teeth bared. Ugh. That sounded ominous and dirty. Before she got to the front door, Deidre sneaked up behind her, carrying something behind her back.
“I packed you lunch.”
Maybe I did want to disappear, pound by pound, until I was no more. But the world wouldn’t let me: the ‘world’ being my Mom.
“Mom!”
“Don’t argue, honey. It’s a long trip.”
Fee accepted the brown bag, muttering, “Thanks. I’ll be home in a couple of hours.”
“Be careful.”
Why? Am I going to slip and tumble to my death, or is my car going to careen off the mountain?
Fee hurried to her trusty Neon before she lost her nerve. Driving to Woodville, near Grant, took her across endless blue waterways and along lush hillsides of ancient trees. Nature assailed her. Flannery sprayed nasal drops into her nose. She was only allergic to birch trees. Go figure.
She set her GPS to find the shortest route, keeping a map on hand for emergencies. That sent her cutting through the horrible hills. Gravity silently threatened her, as if warning that she shouldn’t be ascending the rocky road. A single lane curved perilously on the edge, and nothing would protect her car from plunging to the ground below, should another car come careening around the corner and hit her. Only 18 or so inches of grass and dirt were between the road and air…unless you count the ground 20 feet below. Fee kept her grip on the steering wheel, maneuvering at a snail pace. At least it wasn’t the Rocky Mountains. Higher elevations didn’t seem humanly possible.
“Forget this!”
Fee backed down the road, whether legal or not. Her heart thumped the whole time. Steady, she told herself, keeping an eye on the wheels nearing the dirt. She checked her mirrors and out the window. No one saw her. Houses were few and far between— usually aged wooden houses surrounded by cow pastures, dotted in the distance by black and white beasts. Most people had the sense not to go this route, except for the locals who thought nothing of it.
She paused at the bottom before heading back out to the main road. Lanes stretched for miles. Not a car in sight, only pavement and verdant forests. Up on the right, a brown sign read Cathedral Caverns. No more detours. She dutifully followed it, enjoying momentary flatness. A little music eased the tension before the ghastly task of climbing the semi-steep incline.
“I can do this,” she said aloud. “Don’t look at the drop-offs.”
Keeping her eyes glued straight ahead, she breathed slowly.
Almost there, she coached herself. Cathedral Caverns was up ahead. She turned onto Cave Road. So close! Panic gnawed on her like Jill’s snickering, urging her to turn around like a coward. Somehow, she kept going. It hadn’t been as bad as she had been expecting.
After she parked, she unclasped her fingers from the steering wheel and shook them out. To get blood pumping into her legs and to get her bearings, Fee stepped out of the car. The lay of the land seemed level enough. Something strange came over her. A sense of peace surprised her. Maybe the higher elevation merely deprived her brain of oxygen, she decided. Whatever the reason, she used the moment to silence the inner dialogue trying to talk her out of this.
Well, it is kind of beautiful.
Sunlight streaming through tree tops soothed her worry. Its comforting heat stroked her skin. She soaked up as many rays as she could before facing the cold, damp nightmare.
The one-story visitor’s center had stone steps and walkways. It seemed anchored to the earth and sturdy enough. She milled about like the others. The open and airy floor plan made it easier to continue forward. She climbed the steps in her Wal-Mart hiking boots, passing tourists peacefully resting on benches and enjoying terrifying views of deep spaces plummeting through trees to who knows where? Lovely.
Then, she saw him. Collecting money for tickets behind the counter up on the right, a brownish blond-haired boy chatted with mismatched tourists, who loudly gushed about their love of caves and all the ones they had visited. The boy didn’t seem to mind. He patiently answered questions about the history of the cave’s owners and the world records the cave held. Probably of interest to some, she supposed.
Curious, Fee crept closer. While awaiting her turn, she sneaked another peek at the good-looking boy in the light blue shirt. He had such pale skin, as if he spent too much time down below. Such odd eyes, though, she mused. Beautiful, gray, and forceful. A strange recognition haunted her, though they had never met. This intrigued her.
As he put a $20 bill into the drawer, he hesitated as if startled. His chin lifted and his attention froze on her, as if she had been more unendurable than the tourists. What did she do wrong? She sucked in a concerned breath, anxiously awaiting his assessment…outsider? He seemed to curiously tilt his head as their eyes locked. A wave of energy passed through them as if they were connected somehow—an unsettling intimacy among strangers. Her heart fluttered when his attention settled on her chest, where her charm rested. Fee immediately focused on her ugly, brown boots.
That appeared to snap him out of it. She heard him resume conversation with the couple. She thought he had a pleasant voice, one that some girl might like to hear while lying under the stars. Friendly and confident, he seemed tough enough to handle the rugged terrain, yet with a tenderness for life.
She stole another peek. His deep-set eyes held a sparkle. Outdoorsy and casual, he completed the transaction, as if at home in his natural element, born and bred in these mountains. He was about her age, though taller and lean, but muscular. He obviously kept fit caving. There was something else about him. Sure, his handsome, symmetrical face could melt any girl’s heart, and those lips weren’t too thin—perfect to sink your teeth into. Darn those teenage hormones! Before she could gawk any further, the middle-aged couple in their Hawaiian shirts moved aside to snap more pictures to document their day.
Her turn came. Taking a deep breath, in and out, she stepped up. The wooden counter served as a blockade.
“One ticket, please.”
“For what?”
As if the floor gave way, she felt herself spinning. Her brain wrestled to comprehend what he had asked.
“For the next tour.”
“What tour?”
Her heart skipped a beat. She turned to each side. Was she on one of those prank TV shows?
He smirked, probably guessing her paranoia. She grew angry. Why had she found him so appealing?
“To tour the cave.” She enunciated each syllable in case he had trouble with her different accent.
“We don’t have a cave.”
Was she caught in a nightmare? He was calmly inferring she was crazy or something. Confusion set in. Her throat constricted and her palms began to sweat. She would have run away, but she couldn’t move. Then, he laughed in a soft, musical way, knocking her back from her panic attack.
“I’m teasing. That will be $10.”
Fee felt the blood rise, turning her cheeks and the tips of her ears beet red.
“Oh.”
“Are you with a group?”
Flustered, Fee met his gaze, begging him not to torture her anymore.
“No, do I need to be?” She was cautious now, in case he was enjoying the abuse of her ignorance.
“No,” he shrugged. “I was just wondering if you were…alone. If you wait by the entrance, I’m starting a tour in five minutes.”
His annoyed expression declared that she had no sense of humor as he took her money and handed her back a ticket. Her trembling fingers snatched it away. He had the nerve to grin roguishly.
Disconcerted, Fee disappeared into the restroom across from the counter. Once there, she tried to regain her composure through colliding emotions. If they were atoms, a nuclear explosion would have combusted her. At least in this small room, she had peace. Solitude refreshed her, though the mirror did not, as if always pointing out her flaws. To make matters worse, that boy made her self-conscious. She put her hair up into a ponytail, wondering what made him single her out to be cruel toward. He was nice enough to the couple. Maybe her forehead had “gullible” stamped on it. She felt so stupid for falling for his trickery. Would he pick on her for the entire tour? Just in case, she hung out there for a few more minutes, hoping she could wait for the next tour.
Once composed, she returned to the open space in front of the visitor’s center. He must have left. A middle-aged woman now collected money from a newly formed line. Having no choice, Fee went down the steps to meet her nemesis. The cave’s gaping mouth hungrily awaited her descent. She paused next to a short woman pushing a stroller. On her other side, a couple stood arm in arm, and a family of four waited. Two boisterous youngsters ran in circles, a boy and a girl, both in bright red sneakers. They looked like twins, shoving each other while their frazzled Mom reminded them to behave.
“I was getting ready to send a search party.”
Fee spun around. A smirking boy, hands in his pockets, returned to harass her. He stood close, too close. His eyes locked onto hers, unblinking…like a predator.
How much more could she take? He was much taller in this proximity, and much cuter. Her brain floundered.
“Why?”
“We all thought you fell in.”
Everyone laughed. Her cheeks burned again. She was right. She was in hell.
I’m just going to ignore him. I won’t be bullied.
Laughing to himself, the boy walked in front of the group and stood, blocking the path to the cave as if he owned it.
“Time for the rules.”
The children made faces and grunted.
“‘Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing…but time.’ That is the cave’s motto,” he began in his pleasant voice. “No running, no climbing on railings. No touching the cave walls. No collecting souvenirs. Got it?”
He directed the last part to the children, who all put on angel faces.
“If anyone needs to leave or feels that they can’t go on any further, let me know immediately, and I’ll get you out.” Everyone nodded. Fee especially liked that last part. At least she wasn’t the only one who might need such a service. He stepped closer to her and lowered his voice.
“You look nervous. Don’t be.”
Now he was being considerate? Fee turned her head, still angry.
“Maybe you should stick close to me,” he added.
“Why? So you can push me into a crevasse as a sacrifice to the cave god?” Fee snapped, tired of him picking on her.
His eyes widened as if horrified. His lips parted to speak, but he pursed them and simply turned away. The thirtyish woman with the infant raised an eyebrow. The indifferent couple made eyes at each other, and the tired-looking parents were busy trying to control their spawn. Fee nervously bit her nails, wondering why she had gone alone.
“Let’s begin,” the guide said, motioning the group to follow. His mood seemed upbeat despite his aggravation with her. So far so good. Lights were strung along the walls. A paved walkway meant a smooth, easy footing. Even in the entrance, 128 feet wide by 25 feet high, as noted by the guide, the cave was a cool 60 degrees year round. Fee followed the others, preferring to hide from the tour guide.
“The bridge up ahead is 10 feet above the old trail.”
Bridge?
“And if you look to your left, you will see a narrow, 18 inch ledge at its widest, used by explorers in the past to enter before the bridge was built. They had to hold on to the cave wall as they moved so they wouldn’t fall to the depths below. Originally, that was the only way in. How many of you would be brave enough to have tried it?”
Fee darted her attention away. That was suicidal. She would stick to the bridge, though it was not much of an improvement in her opinion.
“If you look here,” he said loud enough for everyone to hear, shining a flashlight on the ceiling high above, “you will see a shark tooth. Alabama was once covered by the ocean. Here is some proof.”
“A shark tooth!” one of the children squealed, pointing up. Everyone oohed and ahhed.
Maybe an inch and a half or so in length, the white object stood out against the brown background. This illogical finding got her attention. Clearly out of place, it baffled her mind. She imagined sharks circling overhead. What other secrets did the walls conceal? Her heart opened a millimeter toward this place. After all, her beloved ocean had been here, millions of years ago. That tooth was left as evidence. She started to lose her apprehension, but occasionally she would slow down and start to freeze when the terrain roughened. She focused on the ceiling, any
thing, just so she didn’t let him see she was afraid.
“Now, up ahead, can you hear the rushing water? The Mystery River runs below,” he said. “You will see it soon, if you look over the railing.”
Water? Railing? That wasn’t part of the bargain.
Fee gasped when she saw the current flowing below them. He turned to stare, maybe wondering why a cave hater would come.
“It’s just that it’s so beautiful,” she lied, her voice shaking.
They ignored her and moved on. The adept guide led them through a forest of gnarled stalagmites and stalactites: some like spooky fingers motioning for her to move closer or like teeth on the floor and ceiling, waiting to gobble her up. She stared in awe, as if trespassing on some foreign planet. Each room had a wonder to behold, like Big Rock Canyon. One room contained a towering 60-foot tall giant stalagmite named Goliath.
Fee still clung to the railing at some points, getting dizzy, and forcing her feet up steep inclines. But standing pools of clear water fascinated her, urging her to discover more. She preferred the enclosed pools on the higher path to the free flowing water far below. She never imagined the minute details to take in. She figured all caves were just dark and slimy walls, not intricately carved and mesmerizing. Up ahead, the frozen waterfall shimmered in the flashlight’s glow. Even with track lights on the walls, it was hard to appreciate the full beauty without extra light revealing the glistening water, as if caught in a different timeline. The guide enthusiastically pointed out every facet with pleasure. He loved this cave, and she began to see why. Not in a million years did she ever think she would behold anything so beautiful.
“This cave is alive. Each drop of water over time deposits minerals, but it can be killed in a single second by the touch of a human hand.”
He looked at her when he said that, almost like an accusation. Until that moment, he had avoided her.
“I will give you all a moment to take pictures before we proceed.”
As if enjoying singling her out, he went to where she was lingering in the back, pretending to admire a stalagmite. She tensed, hoping he didn’t catch her displeasure in the dim light. She bowed her head, desperate to conceal too many emotions.
“So, you like caves?” He sounded hopeful.
What? No wisecracks?
“Yes, I’m interested in geology…especially the rock formations.” She lied, though it suddenly did sound appealing.
“Really?” He stepped closer, smiling.
She waited for a trick. There was none. He seemed to be waiting for her to say more. She tried to formulate a sentence under the pressure.
“I might become a geologist one day,” she continued, suddenly liking his attention until his gaze lowered.
“I was noticing your necklace.”
“My Dad gave it to me. He bought it in Africa.”
“It is the same symbol found in many caves—a petroglyph.”
“It means something?”
That had never occurred to her. It had always been just a design to make it prettier.
“May I?” he asked, reaching to pick up the charm surrounded by blue and black beads.
She nodded, keeping perfectly still, reigning in any reaction to him.
“The spiral is one of the oldest symbols, one of life. It unifies vision and thought, and it carries with it the sacred geometry found in light and the cosmos.”
He admired it with reverence, gently holding it between two fingers. With reluctance, he released it.
“You seem to know a lot.”
“I’m no geologist. Maybe you should be giving the tour. I’m sure you know more than me. I’m just here through the summer.”
“No, you’re doing fine.”
“I’m glad you think so.”
He stepped backwards with a pleased smile on his face before the rambunctious kids took it away. They bopped around as if unaware of the danger. The young boy daringly swung on the railing while the girl twirled in circles.
“No climbing, kids,” he firmly said, before instructing them all to move along.
Fee diverted her attention from the cavern to the more interesting aspect, that annoyingly charming boy. Next to him, Niko Sari seemed like an immature kid. Not that she had a chance with either.
“There is one room I would love to show you all. Its beauty would amaze you,” he said, like a circus ring leader. “On the other side of that small hole in the ground—which you have to crawl through—is The Crystal Room. It is pure white calcite, and it would take your breath away.”
“Can we see it?” the little girl asked, not tired like several of the grown-ups—including the one holding her back.
“It sounds beautiful,” her long-haired mother said, seemingly enchanted by the whole experience.
Fee was one of the others, a non-taker for the invitation. That hole below, on the other side of the railing, looked like a narrow squeeze and devoid of light. Crawl in there? Fee gulped. Not if her life depended on it.
“The crystals are so delicate that the sound of a human voice could shatter them,” the guide explained. “Unfortunately, the tour for that is a four-hour commitment. Once you enter, you can not turn around…for any reason.”
The others shook their heads, murmuring, “No, thanks.”
“How about you?”
He meant Fee. She shrugged, waiting for the humiliation. A supposed future geologist would have jumped at the chance, not afraid of the very rocks she feigned to be interested in. She closed her eyes, waiting for the shame.
He moved closer, ever attentive.
“Hey, are you all right? It’s dark, but I can still see that you are as white as a ghost.”
“I’m fine, just a little dizzy. I didn’t eat much today.”
That wasn’t a lie.
His strong hand gripped her elbow.
“I’ll get you out of here.”
“No, no, I’m fine. I can leave with the rest of the group.”
He seemed suspicious, but the kids started climbing on the railing again—a potential disaster. Their parents weren’t even watching. They busily snapped pictures of the foreboding hole below.
Faron sneaked over, and she heard him say, “You are making the green monster under the bridge very angry.”
“Really?”
“I just saw its long tail in the water. Keep an eye out.”
The kids wasted no time sticking close to their parents, who seemed to wonder what had spooked them, as they weren’t the clingy type.
Fee giggled, though she used that moment to move away as well. But thankfully they were at the end. Where could she go? The tour was over. He informed everyone to take a few minutes to get the last of their pictures before heading back. Another tour would be coming through shortly. It was over, and she had survived. A sense of triumph immersed her.
Fee decided to get a head start. Her gait changed. She realized she was limping.
“Yeah, you’re perfectly fine.”
“New shoes,” she told him, an ache now apparent in her toes.
Fee sat down, needing a moment to rest. She chose a spot near the railing where large rocks supported the bridge, needing to know the ground wasn’t far underneath. He squatted down in front of her. He wore hiking boots, too.
“What’s your name?”
“Fee.”
“Well, Fee, it’s a long way back. I can get a golf cart, or I can carry you, if you prefer. Walking down the slopes is a lot harder than going up them.”
Thoughts of those strong arms around her caused her to catch her breath again.
“No, I’m fine,” she protested.
He stood up, held out his hand, and said, “Let me be the judge of that.”
His hand was warm, yet a shiver went through her. If she were unsteady on her feet, it would certainly be his fault.
“I’m Faron Rothschild, by the way.”
“Fee Birch, actually Flannery, but I prefer Fee.”
“You should come back for another tour. In the fall, the bats return. You should really see that. You aren’t afraid of bats, are you?”
“No, bats are fine.”
It’s everything else.
He hadn’t exaggerated. Going down took balance and concentration. As they made their way out of the stalagmite garden, another guided tour was approaching. At least twenty people waited to squeeze by like a herd of impatient animals. Fee felt claustrophobic. A panic attack loomed under the surface.
“Everyone, move against the railing, so they can pass,” Faron instructed, pointing to a part of the bridge where the earth below seemed to drop away.
Fee eyed the metal pole with horror. Water churned below at this point. She didn’t want to be that close to the railing. She had walked dead center in the scary places. Ever concerned, Faron watched her inching toward the edge, nervously calculating the distance to the bottom. Large men pushed past her. She forced herself to move closer to the barrier as the rest of the group brushed by her, with one rude woman roughly bumping into her. Fee lost her balance and started falling forward, her hands frantically grasping to catch hold as her upper body teetered over the railing, providing a view she had no interest in seeing. Just then, an arm encircled her waist, anchoring her tightly against him.
“I’ve got you,” he gently told her, keeping her firmly in his hold. “How about heights? Not so good, huh?”
“Go ahead and laugh. A future geologist afraid of heights. I bet you want me to come back in the fall, because I’m good for your comedy routine.”
His face was close to hers, only she had to look up to see it. His expression surprised her. It matched hers, a painful longing she didn’t know how to explain.
“I want you to come back, because you interest me.”
Totally unexpected.
He moved her away from the railing before letting her go and started walking, probably wanting to herd everyone out. She quickly followed. The other tour group had left them, wrongly assuming they needed to be alone. They passed through two more rooms before he spoke again.
“You will come back, won’t you?”
“Umm, well, tomorrow I’m going spelunking with friends.”
He did a double take. It must have sounded ludicrous. She knew she better be honest.
She explained. “I came here today hoping to get rid of my fear before tomorrow. I wanted to see if I could do it without making a fool of myself.”
“You did fine.”
“I might be on the bottom right now if you hadn’t steadied me.”
That wasn’t a pleasant thought.
“Which cave are you going to? It might be one you aren’t ready for. I can give you lessons.”
“I don’t know where it is.”
“There are thousands of caves, not all of them safe like this one. Tell me you won’t go, not until I can show you how to be safe,” he said, genuinely concerned. “Even if you completely dislike me, I hope you still let me help you avoid an accident. I’m on the cave rescue team, and I’d rather not have to rescue you. I mean, I would prefer you wouldn’t get into that predicament in the first place.”
Fee thought for a moment, but not long enough, because she said, “You could come, too. We’re meeting at the Five Points coffee shop at two.”
We. Did he cringe at that word?
“Won’t your friends mind?”
“They would probably be excited to be around someone who actually knows caves.”
“I do know quite a few.”
“So, you will?”
His eyes roved across her necklace before he answered.
“Sure. I’ll come by, just to make sure you know what you are doing.”
“Is there really a lot of danger?”
His face turned grave. “More than I wish for you to know about.”
“I’m sure it’s best not to fill my head with any more horrors than are already there.”
They continued in silence until they reached the mouth of the cave. The skies had darkened a bit. A storm encircled the mountain as if in battle formation with threatening gray clouds.
“Why don’t you come by here tomorrow morning,” he suggested. “I can give you some tips so that your friends don’t see that you are scared.”
“You would do that?”
“Only if you tell me one thing.”
“What?”
“Why are you doing this?”
Taken aback, Fee didn’t know how to answer. Because of a boy, Niko Sari? Because she wanted to be liked by others as well. What would he think of her?
“You don’t have to answer,” he said, with a shrug, probably already guessing. “Will you come by in the morning?”
“I’ll try.”
“It’s actually a spectacular cave. You might learn to love it.”
“I’m not making any promises.” Fee awkwardly waved. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He nodded and headed toward the visitor stand, but stopped to notice which car she hopped into. At least, that was what she hoped.
The rain let loose before she got down the mountain, making the roads treacherous. It didn’t let up nor would it for some time. The return trip didn’t bother her nearly as much, because the landscape was no longer part of the unknown. Her mind stayed too distracted to give her mother a hard time when she arrived home and was greeted with a barrage of questions. She told her about the winding stalagmites and the clear pools carved out of the rock. Of course, she didn’t mention Faron. She kept him for private thoughts.
Fee had a very restless night. Disjointed dreams aroused her too often, short of breath, as if trapped in a hole in the ground and not sure how to get out. She awoke several times, picturing Faron’s odd gray eyes, sensing danger while not sure why. Never had a boy affected her to this degree of turmoil—sign enough for what awaited.
