Kailynn woke up next to Alac with her head still on his chest. She lay there for a moment listening to his deep breathing as he slept. The early morning sun was just beginning to crest the horizon in the distance, lighting the dark sky with rays of orange gold. The first birds were starting their songs, as if to serenade them awake. She lifted her head to see Alac staring at her. His hand lazily rose to her shoulder and traced slow circles on her skin. She softly smiled a sleepy smile at him.
She slid her body up against his to sit halfway up. She traced his jawline with her fingers as her chest rested against his. She looked into his eyes and lowered her head toward his to lightly brush her lips against his. Alac raised his head slightly to kiss her. She let herself pour her feelings of connection and fulfillment into her lips as she kissed him deeply and with increasing urgency.
Alac broke the kiss and laid his head back as he looked at her with a searching look on his face.
“Was last night your first time?”
She nodded, suddenly nervous. “Why? Does that change something?”
Alac nodded. “Yes it does. Why wouldn’t you tell me?”
Kailynn sat back pulling the bedroll cover over her chest and in between her and Alac. “Why does it matter?”
“Kailynn I-I don’t want to be your first and then... I just…”
“You just what?” Kailynn was dangerously close to crying. She wanted to ask him why she suddenly wasn't good enough anymore. To run. To run away from him, away from the feelings that had risen in her that she had never let herself feel before. Safe. Chosen. She blinked back tears, anger quickly rose to mask the deepening pit of pain she felt herself sliding into. “You just wanted to fuck, right? That’s fine. That’s all it was, Alac. Nothing more.”
She pushed against his body to get him to leave her bed roll. “You can go now.”
“Kailynn, that’s not what I meant.”
“That is exactly what you meant Alac. It’s fine. That’s what we agreed on right? Just one night? Don’t worry it won’t happen again.”
“Kailynn…”
“Alac, I need to get dressed and we need to get on the road. Get. Out.”
He slipped out of her bed roll and stood up. The morning light played across the abs on his stomach and made his tanned skin glow. Kailynn sat up and looked at him. He hung almost in her face. For just the briefest of moments, she considered touching him.
But the rejection of the moment crashed down around her and she also stood letting him take in his first full view of her bare body. Shameless and proud she stood in the light as his eyes roamed over her small but full breasts down the pale skin of her stomach to her innermost thighs. She reached out and tapped his chest with a finger.
"Eyes up here Alac.” She pointed to her eyes. “That time is over. Now get dressed and let’s go.”
She turned to gather her clothes, bending over more than she needed too. If he was going to be like that, then he could see what he was going to be missing out on. She picked up his shirt, still damp from the morning dew and tossed it into his face.
“Alac!” He startled a little and then turned to gather the rest of his things. They dressed in silence and packed up their campsite. Saddling their horses, they swing into their saddles and without saying a word to each other, they started off toward the border of the Wildlands.
❧
The wind whistled over the old stone and iron bridge that spanned from the Veynhollow side of the river into the Wildlands side. It wailed over a long forgotten past when this bridge was the entrance to Aldenreach and the capital city of Velmara in the hills beyond. When banners fluttered in the wind and the thriving little trade town on the other side of the bridge was full of life, laughter and the riches of an empire.
Kailynn shivered as the wind crawled a ghostly hand down her spine.
"Are you alright?" The first words either of them had spoken since breaking camp. Alac watched her keenly. "Hello?"
Kailynn clicked her tongue urging her horse onto the bridge without a word.
"Are we going the whole way in silence now??" Alac's tone was frustrated. "Because we can do that!"
"What does it matter?" Kailynn whipped around in her saddle to face him. Her eyes blazing with an anger that hid her hurt. "Do you have something that you need to tell me or are you just trying to not feel like an asshole?"
"I'm an asshole, sure." Alac admitted, "But not for the reasons you think."
"And just what makes you an asshole if not what I'm thinking? How do you know what I'm thinking?"
"I don't know what you are thinking." Alac shook his head. "But I'm not trying to backtrack on sleeping with you. That... that was amazing."
Kailynn's face softened. "Then what? Why did you say you didn't want me?"
Alac swallowed and looked away from her. "It's not that I don't. Its... Its..."
"It's what Alac? For the Line's sake, what the fuck is it??"
"It's that I DO ALRIGHT?? It's that I do want you! And I have from the moment I saw you! Because I'm a weak piece of shit and I fucking want you! Okay??"
Kailynn sat on her horse staring at him with her mouth open. "You weren't even nice to me Alac."
"I know, okay? You deserve better than a traitorous runaway who is destined to die bloody on some field somewhere. So yeah, I'm an asshole. I'm an asshole for taking something from you that you can never have back. Something that you should have given to someone better than me. You might be a fucking Princess and I'm just a hired killer. In no world does this end well for you. None."
"Don't do that Alac," She lowered her voice. "Don't discount my value by cheapening yourself. It was one amazing night, just let it be that for both of us."
It was Alac's turn to stare at the Lady that addressed him. She looked every inch a royal as she met his eyes without turning away or flinching.
"I just thought..."
"Alac, it was mine. Mine to give and mine to keep. I decided what to do. I invited you in." Kailynn's back straightened as she subconsciously assumed the posture of her station. "You do not get to make my choices for me. I make them for myself now."