"Nobody can save you but yourself.
You will be put again and again
into nearly impossible situations.
they will attempt again and again
through subterfuge, guise and force
to make you submit, quit and /or die quietly inside.
nobody can save you but yourself
and it will be easy enough to fail
so very easily
but don't, don't, don't."—Charles Bukowski, "nobody but you" from Sifting Through the Madness for the Word
If we wait for life to get simpler before we begin to live our dreams, time might just pass us by and we might never make the move. I've always wanted to be a writer, but when one is a blue collar worker, it isn't like you get much time off work or paid vacations or even have extra money to take time off. But the passion to write took over. When my kids were little, I'd write while they napped or were at school. I even wrote when the power was out during an occasional hurricane, as a welcoming time to face the needs of my soul. Not doing so would have led to greater anxiety or depression. Many of us need to express ourselves and to understand the how's and why's of our being and the world, as best as possible. Even if there is stress or worry or there is an endless loop of things breaking down or bringing new expenses, take time for your dreams. Put that stress or worry into your own creation. Let it fuel your desires. Even anger can be transformed into something productive and beautiful when you direct it toward a positive direction. Write a poem or paint your moods. In the end, you would have lived your life and forgotten about many of the troubles over time, because you have something that arose out of them all. And you soon discover that these things didn't overcome us, because we wouldn't let them. We chose our purpose even while living for the demands of others, and it gives us a reason for being and also allows an excitement beyond the ordinary.
If you wait for peace and harmony, it might be a long, long wait or a day that never comes. Life is a never ending challenge or a cruel gauntlet. At least, it can feel like that, so why not let yourself become who you want to be, despite it all. I recently told my boss, who is a chef, where I also cook, to make food videos. She said it was always a dream of hers, so why not do it? She later came back to me and told me that she bought a microphone and lighting so that she could start doing it. But why wouldn't she just do this before, when I wasn't aware of her dream? Sometimes we don't give ourselves permission to do all that we long to do, because we feel that we have too many obligations or don't have the confidence. Like her, I didn't feel that I could ever really be a writer until my 7th grade teacher pulled me out into the hallway and told me that I should be a writer. I had only written an article about my guinea pig for an assignment, and she put it in the school paper to my embarrassment. Even if I had found it silly, she saw something in me. It touched me. I wanted to believe it to be true. I guess I did the same thing for my boss. I told her to follow her dreams. She asked, "Really?" I felt that she could teach people to cook and I wasn't aware that she had wanted to do it, even though she works sometimes 12-hour days, but she started doing videos on Monday mornings. That doesn't mean that it was easy or that she was happy with them at first, but she is learning and experiencing so much, to have it mean something to her.
Why wait? Give yourself permission to live your dreams. Who knows? New opportunities might evolve from it or even great joy arises despite the sometimes stress and horrors of life. So go on, believe in yourself and let it happen. Practice and put your heart into it. That can lead to great outcomes, and it can happen little by little, until you realize that as your end-of-life years approaches ,that you made the most of it and kind of enjoyed it in the process. And that is so much more than so many have, even the very rich or those who feel they have so much luxury. Feed your body, mind, heart and soul, and you will have found an answer that so many miss and never find.