Dreama’s Diary–July 18
I don’t ever eat lunch at work or take a break. I starve myself to stay thin so that I can peek over my shoulder and watch him eye my ankles and rise slowly up my long legs to the roundness of my snug-fitting black shorts. He does it, absorbed in me like a patron at a museum mesmerized by an object of beauty. A subtle pain echoes in his stare. Is it guilt?
I brought him his usual sandwich and smiled sweetly as unaware of that nagging pain gnawing within my own chest. I showed my dimples and a forced sunny disposition while a shadow claimed my mind.
I try to be a cute perky blonde like a siren luring a lost sailor to me, promising that all turmoil ends in my embrace. Come, sailor, tossing in the murky green where only the monsters lurk. Come closer. The sun shines anew at dawn and the sky is a rainbow palette sent to fulfill your raging dream–so believe in the song I sing to you. Listen to the sweet lies of eternal ecstasy. Let my limbs be home to you. Close your eyes and pretend.
But it is a lie. Keep going, sailor. Don’t perish in my desperation. Keep going. I’ll be just fine!