Stefan had trouble finishing the pages….
How could Dreama do that? Her pain must be great when she cuts herself. I’m not sure that I understand it. It scares me. I’ve never known someone on such a dark path of self-destruction. Beneath that gentle exterior, there is a harsh rage. Maybe when she was a child, she was silenced too much. I decided that I am going to write in her diary. I held that worn journal and put pen to paper. My emotions surged. I have something to say–
I don’t know what happened to you, dear Dreama. Something must have. That little girl in you was betrayed in some way. But don’t hurt yourself! You should have never been hurt. Let someone hold you when you feel overwhelmed. Let them keep you safe during that moment, and you must face your pain to get through it. See it for what it is even if it wrings your soul with discomfort. Let it make you ask why and then get angry or sad. Cry! Or yell! Voice now what you never got to say. Say it now! Write it. No more silence. Shake the invisible walls with your shouts until they fall down. Shatter the pain until you no longer have to hide or bear its weight. Set it free. And never again cage up yourself. It is okay to be who you are.
As for us–I did have feelings for you. I tried not to, but I was drawn to you. Part of me still does. I wanted to hold you in my arms and make love with you. So many times, I imagined it. But I don’t think that we should cross that line.
Love, Stefan
My hand trembles as I write this. I don’t know if she will ever get her diary back. I’ll take that chance. From the first moment I saw her–pregnant and teary-eyed–I wanted to hold her. That’s all I could offer. I cared. I wanted to get to know her. As I did, I found myself falling for her, but we were doomed from the start. I think we both knew that.