I’ve always believed age is about how you feel rather than the number of years on earth. Of course, I didn’t start believing that until I turned 50. Before then, I thought anybody over 50 was just old. Now, being 50 plus, it didn’t seem that old at all.
Sometimes, though, there was a distinct advantage of appearing even older than my physical age. When I was a younger woman, first starting out with Waggles, I’d felt dismissed by investors and bankers. Eventually, I’d found that dressing older and being my normal assertive self engendered confidence. As I aged, I played up my decades of experience, crisis management abilities, and proven long-term judgement, and I could see the ageism fade away. It didn’t hurt that I had no problem being assertive in a room full of men. Most of the time, I was certain I was the smartest person in the room. Most of the time, that was correct.
Today, though, I was going for the opposite effect - making myself look old and weak. There can be an advantage to having people underestimate you.
First, I applied a temporary grey dye to my hair. I picked one that would wash out with one or two washings, but I also didn’t want it all over, so I put most of my hair up first and just dyed the strands around my face. Then, I left off all makeup, letting my wrinkles and redness and brown spots proudly show through. A large pair of sunglasses masked my eyes, and, finally, matching beige polyester trousers and blouse, paired with some white walking shoes, completed a look that I hoped added twenty years to me. To finish off the effect, I added a Dr. Scholls insert into my right shoe so I walked with a distinct limp.
For my visit with Mr. Brady Strong from Bugged Out, I had first needed to do my homework. I had to find an HOA in the area that wasn’t using Bugged Out’s services. I let the Google do my work, finding the perfect one: Valley Vista was another large HOA about a 20 minute drive from Sunhaven, and a quick call to their manager told me they were not using Bugged Out for insect control. Then, I called the Bugged Out office requesting an appointment specifically with Brady Strong, and I was set.
We met outside Valley Vista’s clubhouse at 3 pm, and he arrived at 3:00 on the dot, dressed in khakis and a dress shirt with a logo on the pocket that showed a large bug wearing glasses. He was taller than I thought from the security camera photo. Nothing about him seemed dangerous; if anything he came off as a bit nerdy with a gentle smile, although in person, I could see large biceps underneath that dress shirt. This was a man who worked out.
“Mrs. Pepper Anderson?” He asked as he approached, looking down at his clipboard.
“Please, just Pepper.” I played up my older age, making my voice small and offering him a weak handshake. “Thank you for meeting me here.”
“That’s my job! It’s my pleasure, Pepper.” He glanced around at the property. While not quite as nice as Sunhaven, this HOA boasted several large grassy areas, volleyball and tennis courts, and an expansive park for the kids.
“Why don’t you show me around, and I’ll work up a quote for you after?”
“Of course. This way please.” I limped along slowly, and he walked next to me without any signs of annoyance at our pace. Shoot, I was annoying myself, but it would be worth it. With my little disguise paired with a sun hat, I doubted he could ever pick the real me out of a lineup. I wasn’t sure if what I was doing could be considered a crime, and I didn’t want it to get back to Javier that I was meeting potential killers while pretending to be an infirm elderly lady. That just seemed like a bad idea.
“I thought Catch ‘Em All had the contract for Valley Vista?” he said.
“They do right now, but we’re re-competing the contract. Times are tough, you know. We’re all trying to keep costs down.”
“Yes, that’s for sure.”
We made our way down the sidewalk from the clubhouse to the park as I pointed out areas that could potentially hide wasp nests.
“Bugged Out services over 20 HOA’s all over Southern California,” he told me. “We have both a residential and a commercial division, which means we can give you a better rate than our competitors, as we purchase all of our supplies in bulk. Of course, pricing would depend on frequency of visits.”
“That’s very interesting!”
He seemed very direct and straightforward. Nothing he said set my killer radar off, but I’d wait until I’d seen his bid before I decided if there was anything fishy going on with Bug Guy.
We stopped in front of the playground, which was fortunately empty, as the intense heat would keep them away. I was glad for the white pantsuit disguise - black would have been a very bad idea.
“What I’m really seeing here is a lot of wasps,” he said.
“They’ve been a huge problem!”
He ducked underneath the play structure. “Yup. Just as I thought. They’re already starting to build a nest right here. Would you like to see?”
“Thank you, but I’ll pass.”
Brady came out from the play structure and walked with his head down, staring intently at the playground surface. “I see you have engineered wood fiber for your play surface. It’s a good choice. Unlike regular wood mulch, it doesn’t attract insects or termites. Unfortunately, though, as with most playgrounds, it does attract little kids dropping bits of their afternoon snacks everywhere.”
He followed some trail that only he could see, like a bloodhound after a scent, all the way from the play set to the cobblestone next to the fence. “Uh, huh. Hmmm.” He squatted in the cobblestone, nodding to himself.
Satisfied, he returned to me in front of the slides. “You can see them flying on the ground near those rocks,” he pointed to the cobble. “You probably have mice running around in here at night, eating the crumbs the kids leave. Then other, smaller bugs are attracted to the mouse leavings, and the wasps are attracted to the smaller bugs. You actually have a very large problem here beyond wasps. I would recommend coming out and treating for rodents and insects at least twice this month and then going on a yearly contract where we come out once per month and take care of the seasonal insects, such as moths and all those other pesky flying things.”
“Oh, my, that sounds like a lot. Are your methods safe for kids and dogs?”
“Everything we use is extremely safe and humane. Our experienced and certified mouse exterminators work diligently with live traps to get rid of all the mice in the area. Our insecticide uses plant-derived active ingredients to fight nature with nature. It’s safe for use around people and pets, and, even more importantly, it’s safe for bees.
“And, I’m so sorry, Pepper, but your current exterminator isn’t doing a very good job. Even if our estimate comes in more expensive, it’s much better than paying money for what I can see is not working. I really hope you’ll give us a chance.”
I turned to face him, watching his face through my mirrored sunglasses.
“I meant to tell you that my old friend Angela Beech is the one who recommended you, may she rest in peace.”
For just a moment, his amiable face slipped, and his eyebrows came down in what would almost be a grimace. He quickly recovered, though, and he put the congenial good-guy mask back on. “Really?” He paused for just a second. “What did she say, if you don’t mind my asking?”
“It was a bit ago, but she said you had always done such a good job for the Sunhaven HOA.”
His shoulders relaxed as he put one hand into his pants pocket. “I’m very glad to hear that! Customer satisfaction is our number one priority at all times!”
“Thank you, Brady. Please call me when you have an estimate.” I said. “And now it’s my turn to be sorry. This darn hip is really slowing me up. I’m supposed to go in for surgery, but, you know how it is. If you don’t mind, I think you’ll have to finish walking the grounds without me.”
“No problem at all.”
He turned to leave. “Oh, I’m so sorry, just one more question,” I said to his back.
“Of course.” He turned back to face me, still relaxed and attentive.
“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but our HOA President, Amelia, spoke with one of the Sunhaven board members, and they said you went to see Angie at her house the day she died.”
I had to give it to Bug Guy. His only tell was that he gulped and his eyes quickly shifted to the left and then centered back on me. If I hadn’t been looking for it, I might have missed his subtle signs of guilt.
“Ms. Beech had some questions about some of our invoices and pricing, and I was happy to oblige.” He still wore his smile, but now it more resembled a goofy grin, and his eyes were now dark.
“Oh, of course, I’m so sorry to even have asked. I was just curious. Isn’t it odd, too, that you’d go to her house on a Saturday?”
The grin faltered, but he pasted it back on. “No, not at all. I was busy with sales calls all week, so Saturday was the first day I was able to meet with her. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to finish up so I can get that estimate out to you just as soon as possible so we can start taking care of your wasp problem, here.”
“Of course! I’m looking forward to seeing your bid.”
I watched him leave.
So many questions.
When I got back to the house, I picked up the phone and called the Valley Vista manager back again. “Hi, this is a Valley Vista resident. I’d like to report an infestation of wasps.”
It seemed like the least I could do as a thank you to them for letting me use their property in my little charade.