Chapter I: Beginning Thoughts
When there is an announcement that someone is pregnant in a family, it is usually an exciting and joyful event. The announcement of this new pregnancy was no different, and everyone, including family and friends, were all equally excited when they heard the news. At 29 years old, Alana was pregnant with her second child. Her first, Jason, a boy, would be turning seven soon. An extremely intelligent child for his age who loved to read. He was way ahead of the other students in his class, often completing his classroom lessons way ahead of the them. He would then assist the teacher by helping those who may have been struggling, to complete theirs. An achievement that was the direct result of the additional home tutoring he received, and enjoyed, from his determined attentive mother.
Although he did not seem to be annoyed, by the level of tutoring he was receiving, there were actually times when the family thought his mother was being a tad obsessive. Regardless of what the family thought, it had no impact on him, or his mother. He absolutely adored her, and would comply to anything she asked of him.
Shortly after becoming pregnant the second time, some subtle differences in Alana’s activities quickly began to surface. Her obsessiveness appeared to be expanding beyond the tutoring. She was becoming an extremely overprotective mother, and needed to be aware of the soon to be seven-year old’s activity, and whereabouts, at all times. This was the case even if he was with family. An example was when Ken, her older brother, would take his nephew for a ride on his boat, or if another family member took him to the store without her. She would show signs of worrying the entire time she was separated from him. It even made some family members suspicious, wondering if she was hiding something.
Everyone in the immediate family knew her husband James, was a heavy beer drinker, and was beginning to suspect that possibly his drinking was starting to cause problems with their relationship, and finances. Alana had stopped working due to the pregnancy, and money was probably getting tight. Their medical coverage, through James’ employer, was with an HMO. As far as the family knew, the cost of her medications, were fully covered. She did take several prescribed medicines due to having her thyroid removed because of cancer, at an earlier age. If she was not taking her prescribed doses, it could have an impact on her behavior, and of course her overall health as well.
Wanting to make sure there weren’t any financial problems regarding her medications, the family told her they understood finances could be tight with her no longer working, and not to be afraid to ask for any help, financial or otherwise.
At times, things did seem to be normally moving along as she neared the due date of her second pregnancy. There was a huge baby shower attended by family and friends. In addition to a nice array of gifts received at the shower, the immediate family provided everything else needed to properly care for a newborn. Alana was considered the little princess of the family, and her two older siblings, a sister and brother, along with the younger brother, were always looking out for her. This was especially true after the fairly recent death of their father.
The age difference between the four children, was not common. The first born, Leah, the older sister, was three years older than the second born, Ken, the older brother. There was a fourteen-year gap between Alana, the younger sister and Leah. Six years later a fourth sibling, Ron, the younger brother, was born, thus making it twenty years difference between the youngest and oldest sibling. Because of the age gaps, and the different social eras they each grew up in, there was often a difference of opinions when it came to family matters. Their age differences also affected how each had dealt with the death of their father. His shocking death, due to cancer, was another factor the family thought was contributing to Alana’s noticeable behavior changes.
A few months later on October 6, 1987, the baby, another boy, named Joey was born. Almost immediately after giving birth, those earlier subtle differences in Alana’s obsessive behavior, was beginning to become more evident. The family often wondered if her behavior was related to emotional or medical issues. Was she still grieving the loss of her father? Were there problems at home? Was she taking her medications? All factors that could have a profound effect on her id Psyche.
Whenever anyone in the family would ask her if anything was bothering her, she vehemently denied there was anything wrong. The family certainly suspected otherwise. This was a person who previously always displayed a jovial personality, and a sincere willingness to contribute, and participate in all family functions. Recently though, the degree of her participation was progressively lessening. If she attended at all, she would arrive late, without James, and would end up leaving early. Although the family did recognize she now had two kids to tend to and prepare for any outings or visits, they had different opinions what the cause might be. Lately, they also noticed James always had some sort of an excuse, as to why he was not able to attend any family functions. This of course contributed to their suspicion.
At this point, not wanting to upset her, or appear to be prying into her personal life, family discussions about her behavior were purposely held during her absence. That decision changed a few months later, as her bizarre behavior was becoming more and more noticeable. The family discussions were definitely evolving into a concern for her well-being, and that of the boys. Taking everything into consideration, a decision was made to include her, and James, in the next scheduled family discussion. Similar to an intervention, their thought was to find out what is going on, causing such a noticeable change to her behavior, and personality.
During the first discussion that included everyone, neither Alana, nor James, admitted there was anything wrong. Skeptical of their responses, the family pushed the matter, and directly asked if they were having any marital, or financial problems. They wanted to make sure the two of them understood the family was available, to help resolve any issues they may be dealing with. Still denying there was anything wrong, the family now wondered if she was even aware how her obsessive behavior involving the boys, appeared to everyone else. Shaking off what the family thought was an overbearing obsession regarding the kids, Alana retorted she was just being a good mother.
With the seasonal holidays arriving soon, it was now a wait and see, how Alana, and the rest of the family, would get through them. This was the first holiday season without their beloved patriarch. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years, were always a big family tradition, and included a big New Years party hosted by the father. This year, would be quite an emotional challenge for the entire family.
Though the family hoped to see some positive changes in Alana’s behavior after getting through the holidays, the opposite had surfaced even more. The family was at a loss of what to do next, that wouldn’t upset her. They decided at the least, another family meeting was in order.
During this meeting, near the end of January, she still denied there was anything wrong with her, or the way she was interacting with the boys. A suggestion was raised by the family, to possibly consider seeking outside professional help. She immediately took offense to the idea. It was the strongest and most objectional reaction she had recently displayed. It was much like the strong willed, independent young lady, they all knew her to be, and missed. The family wondered if her reaction was a sign of her recognizing something was wrong, or that something wrong might be discovered.
Less than two weeks later, the family got a phone call from James, stating Alana had barricaded herself in their home. All available family members immediately responded by rushing to her house. Arriving there, it did take them a few minutes to convince her to let them in, explaining they only wanted to make sure everyone was okay. Once inside, and checking on her and the boys, they settled in the living room and began asking what was going on. At this time, James disclosed she had been carrying a kitchen knife with her, as she went about her daily chores. She wanted to be prepared to kill herself, when the urge dominated her thoughts. He also found out she had been keeping Jason, the older boy, home from school. In addition, she was constantly carrying the baby for no particular reason, other than to keep him close to her. It was as if she had developed a phobia, of them being hurt.
It had become obvious something needed to be done, and right now. Anyone, even a layman, could easily see that she needed hospitalization by the way she tried to comprehend what was going on. Her eyes would seem to float about, moving in all sorts of directions, as she struggled to come up with an answer to any of the family’s questions. After discussing what all the options were, the family was finally able to convince her to seek professional help, and immediately contacted her HMO.
Upon sharing their concerns, and the details of her recent behavior, she was instructed to contact a local clinical psychologist, Dr. Wainwright, who was part of the HMO network. An appointment was made for the next day on an emergency basis. During that appointment, the psychologist diagnosed her ailment as major depression, with possible psychosis, and remarked she should immediately be admitted to a hospital. She of course was reluctant to the idea, and did not want to be separated from her kids.
Several hours later, after a tremendous amount of effort, fueled by heartfelt pleas to go to the hospital, she reluctantly said she would. The family assured her the children would stay at their grandmother’s, where the entire family could assist taking care of them while she got better. The family reassured her, there was no reason for her to think her kids would be taken from her.
Although all the necessary arrangements had been set into motion to have her admitted, it was still no easy task. Admitting a family member to a psychiatric ward, is a frightening experience, even when you are convinced it is a necessity, and the right thing to do.
Going forward, the family certainly knew the increased responsibilities they were taking on, were going to be extremely challenging for all involved. A lot of adjusting by the boys, their father, and everyone else, would be necessary as their daily routines changed. Life for now, revolved around the two boys, and their mother’s treatment.
The next day, the hospital contacted everyone and informed them all the arrangements were in place, and Alana could be admitted immediately upon arrival. Wanting to make sure the transition went as smoothly as possible, all of the available family members who could make the trip, accompanied her and James to the hospital. It was important that everyone knew what all the rules were surrounding her treatment, such as visiting hours, contacts, wardrobe, and if any outside food could be brought to the ward.
As instructed by the hospital, Alana was to enter via the emergency room entrance, where she and the rest of the family would be greeted by a nurse, and eventually led to the psychiatric ward.
Once they arrived at the hospital emergency room, the awaiting nurse introduced herself, and politely instructed Alana to have a seat in the wheelchair she had with her. She then proceeded to give Alana, and each of the family members a small pamphlet. The pamphlet contained a guideline that clearly spelled out the visitation rules, and associated other matters, such as items allowed to be brought in the ward or given to the patient. It also indicated all visitors were subject to a body and package search upon each visit, for the safety of the patient.
Led by the first nurse, the group headed to the psychiatric ward, where they were greeted by another nurse. The second nurse told the group they would have to wait in the guest waiting room, next to the nurses’ station. She assured them they would be able to visit the patient as soon as she was settled into her new environment. There was another pamphlet on the table in the waiting room, that had additional information outlining the patient’s daily routine, and treatment while in the ward. The new pamphlet also outlined the rules for checking up on a patient’s mental progress, and how to arrange follow up meetings with the doctors. Something the family very much wanted to be involved in.