Loves Recovery II
-Her View-
Gifted Heart
Getting this man to take my heart
seemed a never ending part
of my day,
In my night I would dream of him
of what his words did to over me win
and he did, again and again
He at first did not believe this could be
that someone like myself, a pretty girl
and young, could like him
This barrier needed trimmed for me to win
his heart, his will and his way
in any day
And success was mine over lengthy time
what came was well refined
words said even rhymed
He was a find in an internet mine
of men with whom my life could align
he’s the one, in my mind
Found and won, and firmly held
by words which cast a magic spell
he took me in, loving
Gifted my heart had been to him
this gifting was more than simple whim
I’ve come to need him
Then, at once, to stop chatting cold
“What can I do? I know, on me he’s sold,
but he is not here
For days now, he is gone,
hard this is waiting so long
for him to come, to speak I am worried.
“What is wrong?”
I kept asking God, all along.
Yet he is not here
Gone for good, I fear
my life suddenly lost its cheer
as I am waiting, hopefully
Another Day Alone
I am here, waiting, praying
days now it has been since
his words of love came
And my eyes ache to see them
and my heart aches that he is not here
and I fear that he is forever gone
In my mind, a song of dread
it is to my heart this moment wed
as I wished at once to be with him
Yet I hope for his return
to learn the “why” of his absence
and recover our love from ashen urn
He has been that hope which
from my despair for love not there
loved, would bring life again
Tonight I wait, and he is not here
another day alone, I fear
God knows, I need him here
Visiting
With Monique I have been visiting
over the phone, on the internet, at home
as sure I need close my friend
to help hold my spirit strong
But as the conversation goes
this loss of him in all I do, show
she says I am depressed, a mess
and out of sorts
And true her words, I must confess
since he’s gone I am a mess
I live with worry and distress
each day becoming more, not less
And I speak of us, just as we were
his encouragement in love to spur
and stimulate the woman in me
to be more woman than thought I could be
As in his arms, I thought I would be
soon, but now, far possibility
unlikely to occur, yet his spur
keeps me awake at night
I to suffer this aching plight
his absence in my every night
words not there to bring heart-light
to life
Images a-light
While I work, my days are gray
now that he has gone away
to where, I cannot say
Dreary as if clouds ever present
keeping the Sun light out of play
faded the world around I say
His words had been my buoying friends
friendship with love were his to send
and I to take in each day again
Images of him to bring on light
to my day and darker nights
encouragement that is a light
Worthy of keeping strong and bright
with images a-light with him in sight
seeing me beside him just seems right
In my mind they’re framed as known
into memory firmly sewn
bright to contrast with the gray
Things seem dreary, must I say
now that he seems gone away
forever, seems no more to play
Twisted Thoughts
Now time with him cannot be bought
things are worse then ever thought
as gone he is for time too long
and I to hum a sad, sad song
Yet builds inside, fire trying to hide
from myself, and those allied
as I can think of little else
of him going with someone else
As anger fills hurtful places
this to erase my social graces
where I would throttle her who came
to steal him away, affects my brain
As sour these thoughts that willful came
against my wishes all the same
as I force myself to calm
when all I want is his hand some
Questions rest in my mind so
wondering what could have affected him so
as to turn away, no word to say
and still, for his return I pray
Back and forth this interplay
of what I want and what I say
one minute I am glad he’s gone
the next I’m ready to dote him on
Morbidly
When pleasure comes in dreams at night
to add to the hurt of loss, and plight
the absence of my man
not even here to speak as friend
A mind to wander to darker things
sad events that would rot my brains
if left to ferment, or rot and drain
as my very soul, in serious pain
Morbid some of these thoughts are
if keep them up, not live too far
into the future where I hope we are
alive and well, to laugh and spar
Morbidly, these thought to come
sadden me in all outcomes
but in my dreams my heart to him runs
in the moment he through door comes
Heartbreak, Dreams Forsake
Weeks now, without a word
how could this be, it is absurd
to have my love just walk away
no explanation did he say
Now it seems I am forsaken
and it is my heart that’s breaking
as was torn away, the bed we were making
our future life and dreams forsaking
I, to talk about him to Monique
she surely thought him a freak
to have teased me so, to make me leak
to walk away, and be critiqued
For the trouble he had caused
as my life had enjoyed his pleasured pause
but now to find my heartbreak full
and our love become lasting null
Stolen
Insight comes, a surprise
as I come to realize
that there had come
intruders some
To take away our social touch
I tried to read from the feed
but could not enter, blocked indeed
from reading his words online
along with my responses in kind
Locked out I was
Begins a thought, a making clear
what had happen, the worst to fear
that an intruder in my chat appeared
maybe this is what kept my dear
The man I love, I want so near
No matter that I try quite hard
I can’t break in, my account, I’m barred
as in my mind a confusion sits
again to bring my eyes to mist
From thought that he did not just leave
But maybe was taken, by thieves
to do as they would, by their leave
trouble flashing within my mind
again it’s him I need to find
Small hope, but I must try
There were Times
Reluctant, but brave, it seems in time
he stayed even though our plans not align
one to another, with peace to find
This, the way it start
this, the way it was at first
with all this time my heart to burst
As from early, I found I loved him
which was magic, not a whim
from first days, my heart given him
I had sure gone out on limb
as he stayed resistive, bring my hopes to thin
true it was, heart chooses him
There were times I thought he’d leave
then I would roll up my sleeves
with new acts to love in him breed
At once, a few weeks in
he turned to me, a fresh begin
to say “I love you too” sure not a whim
To have this last for months on end
to have love grow, a splendid win
as my goal was more than friends
Sudden surprise, our love’s demise
as he to one day disappear, was lies
or so I thought as seemed love dies
He is gone, and I to cry
find him again I must try
in forlorn hope, I need know why
As my heart breaks, as he to flake
a saddened joke our love to make
as my heart demands in times of late
I reach out, his hand to take
once we’ve cleared this hurtful spate
love restored to our common plate
My heart to scream, “Do not be late!
It is he you need through time enate
he’s your ever true soul mate.”
And I to cry, this is not great
To Cheer
Glad I am, Monique so near
as she to wipe away my tears
help to allay my horrid fear
that he never again come here
to my side, to our love
where sings soft coos of doves
She to remind me how I felt
what I prayed for as nightly knelt
to ask of God to bring him here
have this man so never fear
for the coming of love
to answer prayers
Her to encourage me to try
reaching out to bring him by
to show again that I did win
his heart, to bring him back again
and though the odds seem thin
I must try, and try again, him to win
Monique to ease the worst of pain
put it in its proper frame
sure she was that an interference came
could not be a moments blame
that I had caused a self-brought pain
to cheer me, her acts of fame
I love her ever, sister’s games
Fear and Hope
How do I keep my life afloat
in these time of harsher note?
How?
To have my heart buoyed high
to have rug pulled by-and-by
Heartbreak!
To fear that love never come again
though seeking ever this precious win
Hopeful!
To find that soul that matches me
that one I never thought to see
Alive.
And then to have him pull away
sudden, in a single day
Shock.
To have my heart near fail
as my life sinking, quickly bail
Hopelessly.
And then again to take a moment’s breath
finding lies to make this mess
A spark
As hope again to find its day
as image of him comes my way
Rediscovered.
And us each to reach to recover,
this person who is true our other
Smiling.
We each to put on wonder’s face
ignoring troubles life put in place
Between.
To do our best in finding way
to each other, a precious day
Together
Unsure
Trust is hard once rattled mind
heart not accepting after trouble’s find
as thrust’s return poor welcome finds
yet try as will, we’re each inclined
Our love had formed a wonder’s place
where hope and life had found their grace
to have these each torn away
this was no mere child’s play
Within us each was raised a fire
with no easy quench for this desire
and now, it is our plan
to bring that fire back again
As trust becomes a returning story
to take us beyond troubles pouring
to cast aside all that brought
heartbreak and lonely gone to naught
What we do to restore love’s core
in these time of life unsure
worry and hope to each explore
as we each want much, much more