As we continued walking, the trees twisted into short bushes compared to the giant trees of the Forest of the Forgotten. Small leaves that provide little shade poked out of their branches. They popped out of the ground in sparse patterns of three in a cluster.
The rising heat was a relentless reminder of how close we were getting. It soaked into my shoes like it was going to melt the soles.
Soon, the trees would disappear entirely, giving way to dry brush before dissolving into open sand. I fought tears; each step forward only made the reality heavier.
How real it was that Kathera wasn’t here with me. I looked out at the slowly forming dunes, the rising temperature causing heat waves to shimmer across the horizon. All I could think about though was how cold the stone was under my knees as Kathera’s blood soaked into my pants.
All those days as kids when we talked about showing her around Paesuna. The days we used that fantasy future to survive the war; the nights spent in her chambers mapping out a life we would never get to live.
I tried to avoid the memory, but the sharp sting in my palms made it impossible. Pulling off my gloves I gently traced the tender, newly scabbed skin on the inside of my hands, the tissue still stiff and bruised. Raw, tender scabs ran along the line of my palm. Flashes of that day took over my mind.
Kathera stood in front of the door to the throne room, pacing with Danthi at her side.
“What’s going on?” I cocked my head to the side looking at the two guards she had next to her.
“Ami—” She faced me, her eyes rimmed with tears. “I have to fulfill my destiny now.” She grabbed my hand and I shook my head.
“No, that vision was silly, it was when we were kids. We can find a different solution.” I grabbed her arm. “Kathera, don’t.”
Her chin trembled as she looked down at my hand. She struggled to look up at me as she pulled her arm away.
She looked to the guard on the left, “Don’t let her in. No matter what.”
“WHAT?” I roared as she opened the oak doors to the throne room.
Kathera looked back at me, her face contorted with heartbreak. Tears flooded down her face. “Soon we will take you home to Paesuna, I can’t wait to see it.”
A sob ripped through my chest as I crumpled to the ground, my heart feeling like it was carved out of me.
I stood, determination filling my soul. If she didn’t want to have them let me through, I would fight my way in.
Pushing off of my right foot I jumped into the guard on the right. Knocking him off balance as I quickly grabbed his sword.
“Don’t make me hurt you,” a voice behind me said.
I turned slowly, she held her sword parallel to my throat.
“She is my best friend." I growled at her through gritted teeth.
“And she is my Empress. I do as I am told.” She said plainly back.
Dropping the sword I had seized from the first guard, I reached up, grabbed the raw blade of her sword with both hands, and shoved her back with everything I had. The steel cut deep into my palms, and I bit back the scream tearing up my throat.
She stumbled back and hit her head on the wall, standing back up she mumbled, “Not worth it if you are crazy enough to grab a blade.” Her footsteps echoed into the distance.
The silence that filled the corridor left my ears ringing. I threw the doors open, falling into the room, my hands burning with white-hot pain. I hadn’t realized yet what Kathera had set in motion.
“NO!” My voice tore through my chest as I rushed to her side, she lay still on the stone ground. Her hands limp, and her turquoise eyes still open, but the bright light that they normally held was gone.
Her sword, Danthi, stuck out of her chest. Blood soaked into my pants as I kneeled by her side. The room smelled of copper and felt like wax against my skin.
That smell and texture had never left my senses, as frozen in my mind as Celentra was in time.
I looked down at my hands, they shook slightly as the memory overtook me.
“Let’s stop for camp.” Briar stated, she looked over a field.
Cyrus nudged my arm. “Camp will be good.”
I nodded my mind in a daze, “Yeah, camp will be good.”
Later that night Cyrus came into our tent. His hair was a little messy at the crown.
He sat on his bedroll, his legs crossed and arms outstretched in front of him.
I didn’t ask, I just slowly crawled over into his lap. He let me as I allowed myself to curl into a ball. Tears racked my body for a long time. Cyrus’s arms were wrapped around me, holding me steady. We stayed like that for a while, my chest hurting as the memories flooded me.
“You are stronger than stone, fluid as water, powerful as fire, and sharp as the wind.” My mother’s words came back to me, my throat tight with the grief taking over my body.
I looked up at Cyrus, my face had to have been a mess of tears but he met my eyes tenderly.
I’m sorry. I sent through the bond unable to control my emotions enough to talk.
Let it out, my legend, I will always hold you.
I let my emotions flow freely from me.
My grief.
My regret.
The fresh wounds I couldn't ignore any longer.