My hands shook as I rinsed them in the stream. The water had begun to move again, sliding through the earth like a prayer finally answered. I sank to the bank and tried to find my breath. My stormhound hovered at my back.
Elyon hummed somewhere behind me, singing softly.
“Though death comes for us all,
We must answer the call.
Our breath is a gift,
One we must keep holding onto.
What we do with this gift is ours to decide.
When we put the Fates’ threads aside.”
Their voice faded as they wandered off, leaving the grove to the water and my thoughts.
All I could still hear was Oliver.
Family, he had said.
I did not really know what a family was. The closest I had ever come was the monks, and even now their screams crowded my skull, sharp as splinters.
I touch things, and they break.
I step into a life and ruin it.
I had broken whatever I could have had with Oliver.
Because I act first.
Because I fight first.
Because some part of me likes the way the world goes quiet when I win.
If you didn’t kill him, he would have killed you.
Oliver’s certainty slid into me through the bond, drowning my argument before I could breathe it.
“But he was your family,” I whispered to him as I looked up, feeling the bond tug. His face was wary and broken. “Bound by blood to you.”
Oliver lowered himself in front of me, studying my face like he was trying to read something written under my skin. My breath hitched. He reached up and touched the bruise blooming along my cheek.
I flinched at the brush of his fingers.
“Gilinthia,” he whispered.
Light filled the small space between us. The ache drained away as if it had never lived there, but his hand stayed hovering, warm and careful.
His eyes searched mine for something I did not know how to give him.
“He may have been family,” Oliver said quietly, “but his beliefs would have killed you. And I… I won’t live in a world without you in it.”
I leaned into his hand. This was dangerous.
“I don’t want to die,” I said in a rough breath, “if it means taking you with me.”
His face softened. Then a smile broke across it, disbelieving and bright.
“So… what? We say fuck it to this quest?” he asked. “Just go live our lives and never look back? We could cross into another realm, make something that is ours.”
Hope made his voice almost fragile.
“We can’t,” I said. “Not yet.”
I eased back from his hand, even though the warmth of it wanted to keep me there.
“I need to bring Kathera back first. Then we can ride off into whatever future we want.” My throat tightened. “That life you’re talking about is all I want — all I’ve ever wanted.” I swallowed. “But I can’t take it while her soul is still inside me. It wouldn’t feel like mine.”
Oliver nodded once, like he was sealing something.
“Okay. Ten shards and ten essences to our happily-ever-after.” A crooked smile tugged at his mouth. “Kathera told you to listen to the trees? Then we start there.”
I flung my hands toward the sky and let myself drop flat on my back. The grass prickled through my clothes. My stormhound nosed in beside me, steady and warm.
“I don’t know how to listen to trees.”
“Then we need to teach you how.” Oliver stood and began to pace, one hand braced under his chin. “Have you ever meditated?”
“I mean… the monks taught me.” I was still flat on my back, staring up through the branches. “It helped with my emotions. Until I stopped doing it.”
Above me, the stars winked between the leaves, like they were trying to tell me something I didn’t have the language for.
“Why did you—” He cut himself off with a shake of his head. “No. That can wait.”
He stopped pacing and looked down at me the way he did when he was building a plan in his head.
“I think you should start again,” he said. “Not just for you, for the trees. They don’t listen to noise. They listen to stillness.” His voice steadied. “They react to emotion and memory. If you can quiet the storm inside you, they might learn who you are. And once they do, they will speak.”
“What if what they have to say isn’t what we want to hear?” I asked him, sitting up and still looking at the sky above me.
“Then we twist the lines of Fate to make them into what we need.” His voice was determined, as if he would bring the Fates to meet with him personally to get what he wanted.