By Thursday morning, Arthur Caldwell had learned three things about his new neighborhood.
First, the garbage truck came at seven. Second, the woman who lived two houses down had a rooster that apparently believed sunrise was a personal challenge. And third, the three women across the street had absolutely no understanding of the concept of privacy.
He had discovered the third fact when he'd stepped outside to get his newspaper and found Vivian Bellamy sitting on her front porch in a silk robe, drinking coffee and looking directly at his house. She waved. Arthur waved back because he had been raised properly. Then he picked up his newspaper and went inside. Five minutes later, there was a knock at his door. Arthur stood in the foyer staring at it. He knew who it was. He didn't know how he knew. He simply knew. He opened the door.
Vivian stood there holding a covered casserole dish. "Good morning!"
Arthur looked at the dish. Then at Vivian. "No."
Vivian blinked. "I haven't asked you anything."
"You don't have to."
She smiled. "I brought breakfast."
"I've already eaten."
"Then you can eat it later."
"I don't need it."
"Nobody needs biscuits, Arthur. That's what makes them wonderful."
Arthur looked past her. Martie was standing at the end of the walkway. Lou was hiding behind the magnolia tree.
Arthur frowned. "Why is your sister hiding behind my tree?"
Vivian turned "Lou?" Lou stepped out. "I wasn't hiding."
"You were behind a tree."
"I was looking at a squirrel."
Arthur looked at the tree. There was no squirrel.
Lou smiled. "He must've gone."
Arthur sighed. He looked at Vivian. "What is it?"
"Breakfast."
"I told you I ate."
"Then we'll call it lunch."
"It's nine in the morning."
"Early lunch."
Arthur rubbed his forehead.
"Vivian..."
She smiled sweetly. "Yes?"
"Why are you feeding me?"
Vivian considered this."Because you're new."
"I was new three days ago."
"Exactly."
Arthur stared at her. "You've been keeping track?"
"Of course."
"Why?"
"Because we're neighbors."
He looked toward the street. "I've had neighbors before."
"Did they feed you?"
"No."
"Then perhaps they weren't very good neighbors."
Arthur almost smiled. Almost. Vivian saw it. She handed him the casserole. "Have a nice day."
She turned and walked away.
Arthur looked down at the dish.
He opened the door again. "Vivian."
She turned. "What?"
"What is this?"
"Chicken casserole," smiled Vivian,
"It's breakfast."
"Not anymore." She walked away.
Arthur closed the door. He stared at the casserole. Then he laughed. Just once. Quietly. He hadn't meant to.
At eleven thirty, the sisters were gathered in the kitchen. Martie was chopping onions. Vivian was flipping through a cookbook. Lou was sitting on the counter eating cheese directly from the package.
"So?" Martie asked.
Vivian looked up. "So what?"
"Did he eat it?"
"Probably."
"You didn't ask."
"I didn't have to."
Lou took another bite of cheese. "Did he smile?"
Vivian smiled. "Almost."
Martie stopped chopping. "Almost?"
"Yes."
Lou grinned. "That's progress."
Martie pointed the knife at both of them. "Don't get carried away."
Vivian closed the cookbook. "I've decided we're having dinner tomorrow night."
Martie immediately shook her head. "No."
Lou swallowed. "What are we having?"
"That's not the point," Martie said.
"I hope there's dessert."
Vivian ignored them. "Chicken."
Martie stared at her. "We just gave him chicken."
"That was a casserole."
"Chicken is chicken," said Martie
"Not in the South," laughed Vivian.
Lou nodded. "She's right."
Martie looked at her. "Whose side are you on?"
"Whoever's making dessert."
Vivian smiled. "Chocolate pie."
Lou immediately sat up straight. "I'm in."
Martie put down the knife. "Nobody is having dinner."
Vivian looked offended. "Why not?"
"Because you can't invite a man to dinner when you've known him for three days."
"Why?"
"Because it's weird."
"Not in the South."
Martie sighed. "Everything is not an excuse for Southern hospitality."
"Actually, it is."
Lou raised her hand "Can I say something?"
Martie looked at her. "Go ahead."
"What if Art thinks we're trying to marry him?"
Silence.
Vivian slowly looked at Martie. Martie slowly looked at Vivian. Then both looked at Lou.
Lou shrugged. "Just saying."
Vivian straightened. "That's ridiculous." Martie nodded. "Absolutely ridiculous." Lou took another bite of cheese. "You did ask him if he was widowed."
"I was making conversation." "You asked if he had children," continued Lou. "I was being friendly."
"You asked if he liked dancing."
Vivian frowned. "I like dancing." Martie pointed at her. "And you asked if he believed in love at first sight." Vivian waved her hand. "That was unrelated." Lou smiled. "To what?"
Vivian ignored her. "We're having dinner." Martie sighed. "Fine." Vivian smiled. "Wonderful."
"But we're not inviting him," said Martie. Vivian's smile disappeared. "What?"
Martie replied, "We're having dinner by ourselves."
Vivian, rolled her eyes and said, "That's ridiculous."
"Why?" asked Martie.
"Because the whole point is to get Art to socialize."
"Then socialize with him on the sidewalk," said Martie.
Lou raised her hand again. "Can we invite him accidentally?"
Martie stared at her. "How do you accidentally invite somebody to dinner?"
Lou thought about it. "I don't know."
Vivian smiled. "But it's worth exploring."
Martie looked at both sisters. "No."
At five forty-five Friday afternoon, Arthur Caldwell was sitting on his front porch reading the newspaper when he heard laughter from across the street.
He lowered the paper. The three Bellamy sisters were outside. Vivian was setting a table on the porch. Martie was carrying dishes. Lou was hanging something from the porch railing.
Arthur frowned. He couldn't help himself. He stood. "What are those women doing?" He watched for another minute. The table was covered with a white cloth. There were candles. Flowers. Plates. Glasses. And food. A lot of food.
Arthur folded his newspaper. He told himself he wasn't interested. He told himself he was only curious. He told himself several things and none of them were true.
Then Vivian looked across the street. She saw him. She smiled. She lifted her hand. Arthur waved back. Martie noticed. She leaned toward Vivian. "He's watching." "I know," smiled Vivian.
"Don't look so pleased."
"I'm not."
"You are."
"I'm not."
Lou walked over. "He's coming." Both women turned.
Arthur had crossed the street. He stopped at the sidewalk. "What are you doing?"
Vivian smiled. "Having dinner."
Arthur looked at the table "With who?"
Vivian glanced around theatrically. "Why, the three of us." Arthur looked at Lou. Lou smiled. "You're invited." Martie closed her eyes. "Lou," whispered Martie, "We agreed we weren't inviting him.' "I know,' giggled Lou.
"Then why did you?" Martie snapped.
"I forgot."
Arthur looked amused. "You forgot?" Lou nodded. "It happens."
Arthur looked at the table again. The smell coming from the kitchen was wonderful. He hadn't realized how hungry he was. Vivian pulled out a chair. "Sit down." Arthur hesitated. Martie looked at him. "You don't have to."
Arthur looked at her. Then at Vivian. Then at Lou. "I suppose I could stay for a few minutes." Vivian smiled. "Of course." Arthur sat. Lou immediately handed him a glass. Arthur looked at it. "What is this?"
"Sweet tea," said Lou. He took a sip. "Good." Martie smiled. "We make it strong." Arthur nodded. "I noticed."
Vivian sat across from him. "So, Arthur..." He looked up. "Yes?" "What brought you to town?"
Vivian screamed as Martie kicked her under the table.
"What?" asked Arthur.
Martie smiled at Arthur. "She means the weather." Vivian stared at her. "The weather?" Martie nodded. "Yes." Arthur looked between them. Then he smiled. "You're all terrible liars."
Lou laughed. Vivian smiled. Martie sighed. And just like that, Arthur Caldwell laughed too. It wasn't a big laugh. It wasn't even a particularly loud one. But it was a real one.
The three sisters looked at one another. Nobody said anything. They didn't need to.
Operation Grumpy had officially entered Phase Two.
And Arthur Caldwell, who had come across the street intending to stay five minutes, was still sitting there two hours later. He would later claim that the food was responsible. The sisters knew better. So did he.