Erica Parsons nursed a drink at the Ascot Bar and Grill on a random Wednesday night. She was crying in her cocktail about her ex-boyfriend, Jeremy Witt.
The one she followed all the way from Weybridge.
The one she was supposed to marry.
But as soon as they arrived from England, Jeremy, the consummate playboy, decided he liked American girls. Loud, independent, dishy girls. All the things she was not. So Jeremy had left her, but she wasn't through with him yet.
That was the evening Payne Elliston walked into the Ascot, looking for Erica. He had seen her there before; would she be there tonight?
He had a question to ask her. One that Dr. Prentice had suggested.
How are you doing?
However, when Payne saw that Erica was sitting at the bar alone, he froze. Dead in his tracks. What was he supposed to say to her?
It didn’t matter. The bar area of the bistro was small, and Erica saw him when she turned around to look out the window.
“Payne?” Erica looked pleased. Payne was just the company she was looking for. If Jeremy could have an American girl, she could have a hunky American man of her own. “Come sit beside me. Are you here with someone?”
That was an easy question for Payne to answer. “No.”
“Then let’s have a drink.” Since Erica was open to talking to him, Payne became calm.
“Two Vespers, Vaughn.”
Erica had been telling her troubles to Vaughn, but he was too common to understand her problems. He was a typical American male.
Perhaps Payne, who had a new sartorial look, would be more sympathetic to her woes. The last time she saw Payne, he was wearing jeans and a T-shirt, building her townhouse. Now he was wearing khakis and a dress shirt.
She decided to talk to him. He was the carpenter who worked on her house, but what the hell?
And Payne had a conversation starter from Dr. Prentice. “Erica, how are you doing?”
“I’ve been better,” Erica sighed. “I’m having boyfriend problems. But you don’t want to hear about that. Do you?”
“I would, actually. I’ve learned to become a good listener.”
“Learned?”
“Yeah. You know, from one of those self-help books online. Written by a psychiatrist.”
A lie, but a small one.
“Well, it just so happens I need someone to listen tonight.”
Payne thought quickly.
“Is it about your boyfriend?”
“Yes, he dumped me.”
“I’m sorry,” said Payne. And he smiled. This was a topic he understood.
“What happened?”
“His name is Jeremy, and I’ve been in love with him since we were schoolmates in prep school. We lived in the same neighborhood in Weybridge. That’s a suburb of London. I say that because I don’t expect you to know where it is.”
London? Who cared? The only thing that Payne cared about was keeping the conversation going. So he asked another question. “Is it nice there?”
“Nice? It’s fucking gorgeous. But then again, my family’s rich. And I do rich things. Jeremy took my virginity aboard his parents' cruising yacht while it was docked on the Thames. Beautiful.”
At this point, Payne realized Erica had been drinking. A lot. So he ordered another Vesper for himself to catch up. Erica was nursing hers.
“God, that was a fucking rude thing to say. I apologize, Payne.”
After her apology, Erica launched into the next part of her story.
“There were many nights when I dreamed of marrying Jeremy in the most elegant wedding ceremony that Weybridge had ever witnessed. There would be bouquets of seasonal flowers clustered everywhere, classical music from a string quartet, and a lavish wedding banquet, served al fresco. Afterwards, I would fawn over the stunning gifts from the bridal registry at Harrods. It was the perfect fairytale.”
Payn took a sip of his vesper. He didn’t want to hear all of this, but he had pulled the string on the doll, and it was the perfect time to practice making a human connection.
Even if she was a mess.
“Oh, Jeremy,” Erica said to herself, “I love you and your family name, which I will be honored to take for my own.”
Erica was in full swing now.
“It was after the wedding reception, with all of my well-wishers still present and watching me with rapt attention, that the greatest part of my fantasy would come true. It was then that Jeremy would take me by the hand and whisk me away in a chauffeur-driven luxury car to the most fashionable address in London, where we would start our new social life as the most enviable newlyweds in England, always associated with the best social circles Great Britain has to offer.”
Payne was in over his head, but still following the story.
Erica paused to look at Payne to see if he was paying attention.
He was.
She had gotten it all out. So now she turned her attention to the carpenter seated beside her.
“Have you ever been in love, Payne?
Payne took a sip of his Vesper. “Not like that.”
“Then you don’t know what it’s like.”
“I can imagine.”
“Of course you can, Payne. But you can’t possibly know the heartache I went through before I wound up sitting on this barstool all alone. And I really, really want you to know.”
Payne was a little unnerved at this point, but willing to see it through.
Erica finished her story.
“Shortly after Jeremy graduated from university, his father passed away unexpectedly, and all of my plans for our imaginary future together came to a screeching halt. After Jeremy's father died, Jeremy’s mother, Madelyn, sold off the entire Witt estate, which she had gained by marrying Jeremy Witt Sr.”
“So where did that leave you?” Payne was interested. This story was better than the one he had at home, the video about the girl who didn’t have any money to pay the pizza delivery guy. He already knew how she was going to get the pizza. This story had no predictable outcome. Dr. Prentice was right. Real life was way more interesting.
“I’ll tell you where it left me. Madelyn was originally from the United States and had no desire to stay in England without her husband. She met him one semester at Oxford, but she never liked England. She didn’t like me either.”
“Why not?”
“She thought that I wanted to marry Jeremy for his name and prestige. Which, thinking back, is true. So after selling off everything, including the family home, Madelyn Witt moved back to Orchard Park to be with her family in New York. Jeremy followed her here, and the rest is history.”
“So, since you’re here, you followed him to the U.S?”
“Yes, and like I said before, here we are.”
Payne was on a roll with his questions, so he continued asking Erica more about her life in the U.S.
“Have you seen him since you’ve been here?”
“Yes,” Erica sighed. “I meet him for dinner once in a while.”
“So what happens at dinner?”
“We talk for a while, and then we go back to his place and fuck.”
Abrupt, Payne thought, but still a sex story. A way more complicated setup, though. You couldn’t tell this story in a ten-minute film loop.
“That doesn’t sound so bad.” Payne was sizing up his chances for a real date with Erica, but it didn’t look good. He had no real money and no way to give Erica a jet-set lifestyle.
“It’s not, but with no prospect of marriage, there’s no reason to pursue it.” Erica looked Payne in the eye. “You wouldn’t happen to know any single straight royals, would you?”
Payne smiled. “No, I don’t.”
“You’re better off, even if you are just a carpenter. Sorry, that came out wrong. Look, you’ve been great at listening to my problems. I feel much better. So now it’s your turn. Tell me something about yourself besides being a carpenter.”
Payne was at a loss.
He panicked.
He took a long sip of his Vesper to stall for time.
He knew how to answer a question, but had no idea how to answer one. He hadn’t gotten that far with Dr. Prentice. And he was guessing his addiction to porn wasn’t something Erica wanted to hear about.
So he made up a lie.
“I’m thinking of going to college to get a law degree.”
“Really? That’s impressive. What made you decide to do that?”
Payne was lost at sea. He ordered another Vesper.
“Well,” he said carefully, “I like figuring out how things work. Why people do what they do. And I’m trying to make better choices than I used to.”
Erica studied him. She was sobering up. “That doesn’t sound like a lie,” she said. “But it doesn’t sound like the whole truth either.”
He smiled, a little crooked. “Maybe I’m still working on my game. I don’t have a lot of experience with real women.”
Hope laughed and decided to leave that one alone. After all, she had spilled her guts to this guy, and he hadn’t run away.
“Fair enough. Every guy has got game. God knows Jeremy did. Maybe it’s time I started talking to guys who are a little less polished. No offence.”
“None taken. I’m serious about school, though,” Payne added. “I’m taking classes part-time. Nothing like law school, I guess. But now that I say it out loud, it might not be a bad idea. Any forward motion is progress.”
Erica appreciated that. “Forward motion is underrated. Everyone I know is obsessed with arrival. Titles. Addresses. Rings. Believe me, I know. I was one of them.”
She noticed Payne was still hanging onto her every word, or so she thought. She hadn’t met a decent guy in a long time and was no better at navigating this conversation than Payne was.
“Look at me, I crossed an ocean for a man who stopped moving forward.”
Payne surprised himself by saying, “It’s lonely, isn’t it?”
It wasn’t a clever line, but it was spontaneous.
And more than anything, it was a question. Payne was having a real conversation with a real girl!
“It is,” she admitted. “Especially when you realize you were in love with a future that only existed in your mind.”
“Are you lonely, Payne? You’re here by yourself.”
“I guess I am.”
They sat quietly for a moment. The bar was getting crowded; it was hard to hear over the people talking loudly, the music, and the general hubbub. What started as a quiet night had become energized. But Payne and Erica were in their own world.
“So,” Erica said at last, turning toward him again, “what do you want, Payne Elliston? Not what you think sounds impressive. What do you actually want?”
The question made him freeze up. He wasn’t ready for this. He thought of Dr. Prentice’s voice: Start with what’s real.
“I want,” he said slowly, “to not feel ashamed all the time. To have something steady. Maybe someone I can talk to without pretending.”
Erica looked at him differently now. She was curious, intrigued even.
“That’s refreshingly honest,” she said.
“I’m trying something new.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, you’re easy to talk to. Much easier than Jeremy ever was.”
Vaughn drifted over to refresh their drinks, and Erica waved him off. “I’m good for now.”
When she turned back to Payne, her voice was lighter. “Would you like to walk for a bit? I’ve had enough of sitting still tonight.”
Payne was surprised by how calm he felt. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
They stood, close but not touching, and Payne felt relaxed and confident. He had talked to a real girl, and she had responded meaningfully.
He felt like he’d shown up as himself, and that was enough to keep her beside him as they stepped out into the night.